Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Episode 24 (Naru’s Tears: Nephrite Dies for Love)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

Sailor Moon and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Toei Animation and licensed by Viz Media

Episode directed by Junichi Satou and Takuya Igarashi

If the title wasn’t a good enough indication, this is gonna be the last time we see Nephrite.  Not only that, but it also kind of spoils HOW he’s gonna meet his end if the whole “dying for love” thing isn’t some red herring.  Still, there is potential here for a solid conclusion to this subplot that, despite my misgivings, is certainly an interesting diversion before we get back to the actual story line.  Will this be a satisfying way to capstone the end of Nephrite’s career, or will his tenure as the big bad guy fizzle out the way pretty much all of his evil schemes did?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Naru and Usagi at nearby park; the former of which is still feeling distraught over the events of the last episode.  She now knows that Nephrite is a bad guy but has also bought into his (obviously phony) story about trying to quit the Evil Organization, so now she’s faced with the prospect of never seeing him again which… I guess would be a bad thing.  I won’t continue to drone on about how bad of a relationship they would end up have if they ACTUALLY got together and about how much of a manipulative prick Nephrite is, but it does make it hard for me to care whether or not they will be an OTP by the end of the episode.  Usagi, not feeling too different from what I’m feeling, has the problem of having to see her friend suffer over her current situation which means she’s feeling pretty bad about it herself but knows what the right move would be which is to keep them apart.

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“I’m sure he’s doing what’s best for you.”     “He didn’t even bother to send a good bye letter though!”     “A goodbye letter… that could work!”     “What was that Usagi?”     “Nothing!”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (Applejack’s “Day” Off)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

We’re back with another episode of The Rarity and Applejack Adventures, which is the closest thing we’ll get to an American Absolutely Fabulous!  Okay, CANADIAN Absolutely Fabulous!  Whatever!  Despite their differences in occupation and lifestyles, Rarity and Applejack do have quite a bit in common; not the least of which is their business sense and drive for personal success.  We haven’t gotten an episode with these two characters specifically since Made in Manehattan from season five, and that ended up being a highlight of that rather underwhelming season.  Does this episode accomplish the same for season six, or has the dynamic between the two been explored to the extent the writers are willing to go?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Rarity enjoying a day at the spa and eagerly waiting for the arrival of Applejack in the steam room.  Sadly enough Applejack is overburdened with chores recently and doesn’t arrive until several hours later; setting up the conflict for the rest of the episode and giving us a sight gag in the process.  I don’t think that steaming can cause your face to melt off, but maybe they’re using magic steam.

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“LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!  Do you KNOW how long it will take for them to put my face back on!?”

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Cinema Dispatch: X-Men: Apocalypse

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

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X-Men: Apocalypse and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Fox

Directed by Bryan Singer

It’s that time again for another X-Men movie to try and prove its relevance in a post MCU world!  So far, I think they’ve been doing a fairly good job of keeping this series humming along since Mathew Vaughn kicked the franchise back to life again five years ago.  The post First Class movies haven’t been perfect, but the second shot at a Wolverine solo picture and the one that brought Brian Singer back to the franchise were both fine enough films, and now that Deadpool is kinda sorta in the mix, there may be hope yet that this franchise can make that leap to the big leagues instead of sitting comfortably as the acceptable knock off.  Is this movie the start of that transition, or is this series just gonna keep spinning its wheels until another X3 disaster kills it off for good?  Let’s find out!!

The movie picks up about ten years after Days of Future Past which is still about twenty years before the original X-Men, which I THINK is still in continuity (only X3 is the one we know for sure got blinked out of existence).  In the intervening time, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) has finally set up his school, Erik Lensherr (Michael Fassbender) has gone into hiding and now has a family in Poland, and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence)… well she’s basically doing the same thing as she as in the last movie, only now she’s a symbol of peace rather than a violent radical after she had saved the president from Magneto.  Things seem to be at a tentative state of peace with the humans being somewhat okay with mutants and Erik more or less retiring Magento so he can live a normal life.  We don’t come to an X-Men movie to see people be happy though!  What’s gonna screw it up for everyone!?  Well two things really.  First is that Erik suffers a tragedy that throws him back into his anti-human hobby, and second is that there is a millennia old mutant calling himself, among other names, Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) that just so happened to wake up from his deep slumber and is ready to take over the world (presumably after getting a shower and a bite to eat).  It doesn’t take long for him to make his presence known so the X-Men must reunite and get some of the new students to fight the greatest threat to all of humanity… at least now that the Sentinels aren’t gonna be a thing anymore.  Can Charles and Mystique whip these newbies into tip top shape to fight the new bad guy and save the world?  What exactly will Erik do now that he’s given up on ever finding peace for himself?  How many times are they gonna blow up the damn school!?

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“What happened this time?”     “Someone left a fork in the microwave.”     “SERIOUSLY!?”     “Well… we put the microwave next to the jet fuel storage container.”     “Did you at any point think that was a bad idea?”     “Oh THANK YOU Captain Hindsight!  Where would we be without your input!?”

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Cinema Dispatch: Alice Through the Looking Glass

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

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Alice Through the Looking Glass and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by James Bobin

A sequel to a movie six years after everyone stopped caring about it!  THAT’S never gone wrong, am I right?  To be fair to Disney, the original film did make an astonishing amount of money (one BILLION worldwide) but this feels way too late to capitalize on whatever moment that first movie had.  Not only that, but it was also one of the early 3D films which I’m sure boosted the ticket sales, yet now we’re at a point where people are just sick of the gimmick, so it doesn’t even have THAT going for it.  Still, the first movie did manage to be pretty decent and the trailers for this looked very creative to say the least.  Can this manage to be a damn fine sequel that just needed a little extra time to fully come together, or is this a naked cash grab for everyone involved?  Let’s find out!!

The movie picks up three years after the first movie where Alice (Mia Wasikowska) has spent the intervening time traveling the world as a sea captain for Ascot family’s trading company (I think).  She returns to England at the start of the movie to see her mother (Lindsay Duncan) and plan the next trip with the company.  Unfortunately, the Ascot patriarch has died since she last returned and the one in charge of the company is his son Hamish (Leo Bill) who you may recall was set to be Alice’s husband in the first movie which didn’t end up panning out.  Now that this new guy is in charge (and he has a wounded ego) Alice is not only no longer employed as a sea captain, but for some reason is given an ultimatum to either sell her father’s boat or risk losing her mother’s house.  It gets worse when you find out that the mother has been working behind her back to make sure she gets fired so that she would have no choice but to “settle down” as all proper ladies do.  Well I’d say THAT’S enough stuff to stress over to make a trip to Wonderland seem like a wondrous vacation, right?  She gets led to the titular looking glass by the butterfly Absolem (Alan Rickman) and eventually finds the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) on the other side who is slowly dying and not quite so delightfully mad.  Apparently he found a modicum of proof that his family is still alive but no one else believes him so he’s going to slowly die of depression… I guess.  Alice has no choice but to go back in time to save the Hatter’s family from the Jaberwacki and has to face off against Time himself (Sacha Baron Cohen) to get that ability.  Will she be able to save the Hatter from his battle with depression?  What will she learn as she travels back to the glory days of Wonderland, and what must she risk in order to get the opportunity to do so?  Does anyone else notice that its’ a lot brighter this time around?

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“Did you bring the sunscreen?”     “The hell do you need sunscreen for?  YOU HAVE A HAT!!”

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Cinema Dispatch: Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

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Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures

Directed by Nicholas Stoller

They just couldn’t resist the urge, could they?  I guess there was just too much money lying on the table to NOT make another one of these.  Sequels to unexpected hits (especially comedies) are almost always underwhelming as it’s like trying to capture lightening in a bottle twice.  Caddyshack 2, Ghostbusters 2, Horrible Bosses 2, you could make a neigh infinite list of them.  Now the first film was a pretty solid movie that had a bit more to it than you would expect from a movie that’s essentially a prank war.  Not only that, but they’re coming into this one with a decent enough idea in regards to how Sororities are viewed by the education system, even if it is a bit ridiculous that the SAME THING happens to these people twice in a row.  Can this manage to be the few comedy sequels to NOT be the worst thing imaginable, or is this movie destined to be the worst thing imaginable?  Let’s find out!!

The movie begins a few years after the first one ended with Teddy Sanders (Zac Efron) still wasting his life away but now doing so as Pete’s roommate (Dave Franco) and Mac and Kelly Radner (Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne) planning to sell their house so that they can move to the suburb.  There’s a small roadblock though to their plan which is that they ALREADY bought the house in the suburb, but the house they just sold is in escrow which the movie thankfully explains is a thirty day waiting period where the buyers can back out of the deal if something were to change.  That couldn’t POSSIBLY happen though, right?  Well back on the college campus (what college is it anyway?) the new female freshmen are trying to get into Sorrorities, but three of them (Chloë Grace Moretz, Kiersey Clemons, and Beanie Feldstein) find the guidelines about not being able to party too restrictive, so they decide to start their own independent Sorority.  Well SURELY they won’t end up at the EXACT same house that Teddy’s frat was at, right?  Well speaking of Teddy, Pete just got engaged so Teddy has to move out which means he’s lost once again and needs to find not only a new place to stay, but some meaning in his life.  Oh look!  The house he used to live at!  And look!  The girls are touring it to see if it works for their needs!  An unholy (and tenuous) alliance is born between the girls of the new Sorority (Kappa Nu) and the frat boy looking to relive his glory day, so they rent out the house to the terror of Mac and Kelly who just want to sell their place and move on with their lives.  And so the war is on once again as the girls refuse to keep things quite for thirty days and the old people try to keep them from exercising their right to party!  Can Mac and Kelly once again destroy the young people who are trying to fuck up their lives?  Will the sisters fail in their endeavor to bring about a new kind of Sorority that’s empowering those who want to have fun but don’t want to be objectified?  Things can’t get any crazier here than they did in the LAST movie… right?

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“My painted on abs give me strength!!”     “KILL THE FAT GUY!!”

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Cinema Dispatch: The Nice Guys

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

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The Nice Guys and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by Shane Black

How amazing is it that on the cusp of a freaking Lethal Weapon television show premiering that Shane Black (the writer of the original film) has a new movie out in theaters just to show the futility of even TRYING to recreate what he did back in 1987?  The guy may not be as prolific as some other great filmmakers out there, but between the films he wrote and the ones he directed, there’s no denying that Shane Black is a first rate talent that we should all be thankful is out there making movies.  Does his latest film live up to his track record of excellence, or is this the first sign that the guy is tapped out creatively and that it’s all downhill from here?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follows Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe) and Holland March (Ryan Gosling); the former being a goon for hire and the latter being a detective from the Richard Moore School of Sleuthing.  The duo cross paths early on as Ryan Gosling is trying to find a girl (Margaret Qualley) for a client but the girl CLEARLY does not want to be found.  Because of this, she hires Russell Crowe to convince him to stop, which he does… violently.  Unfortunately for the both of them, this case is a lot bigger than either of them anticipated and after an assassination attempt fails to take out Russell Crowe, he goes to see Ryan Gosling about teaming up to find out what the hell is really going on here.  Along for the ride (despite Ryan Gosling’s insistence to the contrary) is Holly March (Angourie Rice) who may only be a teenager, but is at least half as good as a detective as her father claims to be.  Along their journey, they’re run afoul of gangsters, pornographers, at least one politician, and a shit load of gunfights as they search for answers and try to do something good for once in their wretched and miserable lives!  Can this trio find out who this girl really is and why everyone is looking for her?  Can these two knuckleheads work together without one of them killing the other?  Does Shane Black find a way to fit in Christmas again!?

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“Feliz Navidad you sack of shit.”     “Isn’t your daughter waiting for you in the car?”     “She knows how to get back home.”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal Act 33 (Infinity 7: Transformation – Super Sailor Moon)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

We’re back with another episode of Sailor Moon Z!  The last episode managed to really kick the story into high gear which was good considering that several of the episodes prior to that ground everything to a screeching halt as we circled around the same plot points with no real forward momentum.  Ironically, the show that is known for going too damn fast ended up slowing things down TOO much.  Does this episode finally find a happy medium between the two, or is the concept of a properly paced episode of Crystal as likely as Uranus’s and Neptune’s actions actually making any sense?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins where the last one left off, mainly with the non-royal family members beating the hell out of each other and the Doublemint Twin Witches bragging about it.  Fortunately, the Holy Grail has just materialized and has the power to release the Scouts from the mind control spell the witches had cast on them.  Not only that, but the Outer Senshi’s talismans (Aqua Mirror, Space Sword, and Garnet Orb) are all reacting to the Holy Grail and getting a significant power boost!  Yeah, Sailor Moon would only get in the way MY ASS!!

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“You’re Welcome!”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (The Saddle Row Review)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 3 Comments

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

Welcome back to another episode of Rasho-Pony!  So far, season 6 has been a somewhat more successful version of the underwhelming fifth season.  While last season promised change and exploration but failed to deliver on it, this season feels a bit more assured of itself and has tried some new ideas here and there to keep things fresh.  Does that work for this episode where it’s essentially one big flashback to piece together the story up to now, or will this be a gimmick that wears out its welcome all too quickly?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with five of the Mane6 frantically racing towards Rarity’s house in the hopes of stopping her from reading a review of the opening night at her Manehattan Boutique.  The reason why is not clear yet, but it has something to do with information that they apparently divulged to the fashion critic which is presumably NEGATIVE information based on how they’re rushing to stop her from reading it.  Unfortunately they are too late as Rarity has the newspaper in hand and is merely waiting for her friends to arrive so she can read it with them.  For the sake of conflict, she refuses to listen to anything they say and proceeds to read it out loud; the others deciding to start hiding behind heavy objects while she does so.

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“If you want to kill me, you’ll have to go through these outfits first!!”     “DAMN!  My one weakness!”

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Cinema Dispatch: The Angry Birds Movie

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

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The Angry Birds Movie and all the images you see in this review are owned by Columbia Pictures

Directed by Clay Kaytis and Fergal Reilly

After the disaster that was Ratchet & Clank, this COULDN’T be worse… right?  Honestly, with the track record that video game adaptations have, it’s not like a shitty movie based on a mobile game can tarnish their legacy any more than Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li did, which isn’t to say that I have any hope for this movie; just that it’s not in a position to do much damage.  Does this turn out to be an unexpectedly competent surprise, or just another awful adaptation to add to the pile?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follows the angriest bird in Birdville, or whatever this place is called, named Red (Jason Sudeikis) who has finally pushed the citizens of Bird-opolis to the breaking point!  After an “incident” gets out of hand involving a slightly messed up cake and cracked egg, Red is assigned to mandatory Anger Management which is led by Matilda (Maya Rudolph) and is attended by Chuck (Josh Gad), Bomb (Danny McBride), and Terence (Sean Penn); none of whom are particularly well adjusted.  That’s only the first half of the movie though.  Eventually, a ship chock full of pigs arrives at the Island of Birds and come offering friendship and gifts of the outside world!  Only Red can see that they’re up to no good though, but no one wants to listen to him because… well he’s an asshole.  Still, he manages to get Bomb and Chuck on his side enough so that they agree to go with him to find the LEGENDARY MIGHTY EAGLE who is said to watch over Bird-sylvania and aid it in its time of need.  Can red get over his anger issues long enough to do some real good for his fellow birds?  Can the LEGENDARY MIGHTY EAGLE save the town before the pigs enact their nefarious plan?  Have these birds never bothered to go off of their island!?  How have they never heard of pigs before!?

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“Whatever it is, I think we should worship it.”     “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”     “HERETIC!!”     “Don’t you mean… HAM-etic?”

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