Author: Matt Vetrano

Super Recaps: The Twilight Zone (The Lineman)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 4 Comments

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The Twilight Zone and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Warner Bros Television and based on the series created by Rod Serling

Episode directed by Jonathan Frakes

Welcome back to our look at the 2002 Twilight Zone reboot!  Now the show’s air dates and production dates are completely different, but we’re gonna go with the latter which means this first episode (the pilot) didn’t actually air until six weeks into the series run; something that makes it even MORE confusing when you find out that this is the ONLY episode of the series that is one hour long story instead of two episodes put together.  As confusing as that must have been to whoever was watching this series as it aired (someone SURELY had to have been doing so, right?), this can sometimes happen.  You needn’t look any further than The Menagerie from the original Star Trek series which was the original pilot but then later retrofitted into a two parter in the series proper.  So what do we have to look forward to from the first episode of this series?  Well it has Jeremy Piven in it from before he was on Entourage but since that’s a show I’ve never seen, my reference pool for the guy is basically Smokin’ Aces and The Good: Live Hard Sell hard.  Not only is he in this episode, but he’s the STAR and it’s all about him developing the power to read minds!  Neato!  So does this episode prove that the series was worth bring back a second time, or is it all too clear right from the beginning that we’re on a ship that’s sinking fast?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with our hero Tyler (Jeremy Piven) and his two work buddies, Buddy and Shannon (seriously, his best friend is named Buddy, I guess so we don’t get confused), who are at the site of a recently downed telephone line.  Tyler has a crush on Shannon but he doesn’t have any confidence in himself and uses being poor as an excuse to not ask her out.  I guess telecom repair people don’t get paid a lot, but then again this is the guy who buys scratcher tickets hoping to win it big, so maybe his idea of success is a bit on the unrealistic side.  Not only that, but the person he’s pining over seems like an irresponsible jerk considering she goads the guy into going to the top of the line to fix it mere moments after the storm ended.  Gee… I wonder if anything is gonna go wrong…

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“I hate Mondays!!”     “It’s actually Tuesday.”     “WHY ARE YOU CORRECTING HIM!?  CALL AN AMBULANCE!!”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (A Hearth’s Warming Tail)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

We’re back with another episode of The Taming of the Starlight!  After last week’s respite from the newest member of Twilight’s inner circle to focus on Rainbow Dash, it’s time to check back in with our not-quite-yet reformed former dictator.  Not only that, but it’s SOMEHOW Hearth’s Warming Eve time already which is odd considering it looked very much like Spring in the last episode, so maybe the show is trying to make up for lost time or something.  Anyway!  Will Starlight learn about the magic of Hearth’s Warming Eve, or will they let her be a Grumpy Gus until the ornaments are put away?  Well you can probably guess which one it is, but let’s find out!!

The episode begins with everypony singing a Hearth’s Warming Eve carol throughout the town and leading into Twilight’s Doom fortress where the main festivities are happening; presumably leaving the chosen people of Pony-rael to their own devices as they celebrate Horse-anukah in the privacy of their own homes.

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“Can I go home now?  It’s the last night and we’ve got to light the mare-norah.”     “Oh quit being a spoil sport!”

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Cinema Dispatch: Money Monster

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Money Monster and all the images you see in this review are owned by TriStar Pictures

Directed by Jodie Foster

Once again, George Clooney is trying to save America’s soul through his world class acting skills!  Not too long ago he directed and co-starred in The Ides of March which was a vicious take down of the electoral process and the idea of there ever being a perfect candidate and then just last year he was in Tomorrowland which, from what I understand, is damn close to a Randian take on a Save the Future kids movie where the best and brightest separated themselves from the rest of the world to form a Utopian society that is no doubt run on renewable energy and good vibes.  Now we’ve got Money Monster; a movie he didn’t direct but seems to be right in his wheelhouse as it takes the finical system and investment culture head on.  Does this movie manage to make an intelligent statement on capitalism and Wall Street, or is this simply an angry and half-thought out screed that just shows how little the filmmakers and writers know about what they’re railing against?  Let’s find out!!

The movie begins with douche bag television personality Lee Gates (George Clooney) going about his normal everyday routine of giving financial advice on his show Money Monster with his trusty director Patty Fenn (Julia Roberts) in the booth making sure it all comes together instead of just being a big cacophony of egotistical noise radiating from the self-centered host.  Today is not going to be a normal day for anyone however as a complete stranger Kyle Budwell (Jack O’Connell) manages to sneak his way into the studio with not only a gun but a bomb vest.  He takes everyone hostage, puts the vest on Lee, and begins his own personal broadcast to spout off about the ills of Wall Street and their hype men like Lee.  Specifically, the guy lost A LOT of money when a company called IBIS suspiciously lost eight hundred million dollars in a single day due to a supposed computer glitch and he wants answers for it; especially after Lee said on national television that the company was a sure thing for any investor.  Can Lee talk his way out of a bullet in the head?  What really DID happen to the money that IBIS claims to have lost?  How amazing are the ratings gonna be for THIS show?  Maybe he can get another desperate asshole to break in during sweeps…

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“On today’s episode, we see who wants to get shot in the face!  Any takers?”     …     “Come on people!  If you can’t decide amongst yourselves, then  I’m gonna choose for you!”

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Super Recaps: The Twilight Zone (PROLOGUE)

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You are about to enter another recap series.  A series not of anime or ponies, but of network television at the start of the twenty-first century.  A journey into the early roles of well-known actors today.  Next stop, something super cheesy and firmly a product of its time!  You are about to enter…

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Don’t know what this is?  Well it’s something I haven’t seen in a REALLY long time and yet has still left an impression on me.  I figure it was time to share the joy (or pain depending on how it holds up) that this show has brought me!  But first, we could use a little history lesson.

Portrait of a man who’s amazing hair and clipped speaking pattern somehow changed the world

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Rod Serling’s The Twilight Zone ran from 1959 to 1964 and is still one of the most important and ingeniously clever television shows of all time.  Before Serling got his big break on that series, he was already a legendary writer in television; having been nominated for four Emmys and winning three within a four year period.  Still, the idea of a television network investing in a science fiction series was neigh unheard of, and even with Serling’s massive clout it still took some doing before the series made it to television.  The show found its audience but was never a huge hit for the network and was cancelled after five seasons.  The impact of that show is STILL felt to this very day, and has influenced everyone from Gene Roddenberry, Steven Spielberg, Stephen King, Stanley Kubrick; hell, ANYONE who makes science fiction television and movies owes something to this show and the legacy it left behind.  That’s not the show I’m going to recap though.

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal Act 31 (Infinity 5: Setsuna Meioh – Sailor Pluto)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

We’re back with another episode of The M-Files!  Unexplained and terrifying things keep happening at this school, and yet no one seems to have dropped out yet. I guess despite the numerous horrors to befall its students, it still gets them a kick ass reference!  Still, the strange stuff only got stranger last week when the formerly dead Scout (Sailor Pluto) showed up in what I can only assume is a reincarnated form; similar to what happened with the rest of the Scouts.  Does this episode manage to explore the true nature of Sailor Pluto’s return in a satisfying and compelling fashion, or is her reappearance merely a stab at fan service to keep the fans’ collective attention span from waning?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Not Sailor Pluto (Setsuna Meioh), or at least Not YET Sailor Pluto, working in one of Mugen Academy’s science labs that also looks like a greenhouse.  Actually, it looks a bit more like an office than anything else, but she said in the LAST episode that she’s a student.  If that’s the case, then how did she manage to get her own office!?

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“I swear, if this is leading to ANOTHER joke about my plants…”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (Newbie Dash)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

We’re back with another episode of The Wonderbolt Years!  Rainbow Dash’s ongoing quest to become a member of the prestigious group might be reaching its ultimate conclusion with this episode that puts her among their ranks once and for all!  Will this manage to be just as good as the LAST time a major series long plot line had gotten a resolution which was Crusaders of the Lost Marks or is this a hasty conclusion that doesn’t adequately capture the magnitude of this event?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash expositing to each other about an upcoming Wonderbolts event in Ponyville that Rainbow Dash will be a part of.  Rainbow Dash corrects her about one thing which is, as you know, she’s actually a RESERVE member which means she’ll be there but not in the main event.  Well that’s too bad.  If only there was a way for her to get a chance to fly with them, or if the Wonderbolts finally gave her a shot in their ranks.  If only something like that were to happen…

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“That’s right Rainbow Dash!  We’ve got your wife!”     “But I’m not married!”     “You are now!  TO THE WONDERBOLTS!!”

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Cinema Dispatch: Captain America: Civil War

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 7 Comments

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Captain America: Civil War and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

The Marvel money machine has deigned to appease the masses with the next chapter in their long running story about people in tights (or robo-tights) that STILL manages to be more character driven and exquisitely crafted than any number of big blockbusters that have tried to challenge Marvel to their title as king of the cinematic landscape (*cough* Batman v Superman *cough*).  Now we have another entry in the Captain America series which actually looks like an Avengers movie more than anything else.  Does Marvel once again show us what makes the Captain America movies so unique within the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or has the whole enterprise gotten too massive to tell a simple story about one man throwing his mighty shield?  Let’s find out!!

The main thrust of the narrative in this movie is the Avengers having the whole “collateral damage” thing come back to bite them in the ass.  It’s been building up for a while, but when an operation in Nigeria goes south after the bad guy blows himself up and the blast is redirected by Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) into a nearby building and killing eleven people in the process, it seems that the world powers have no choice but to step in.  Of course, the guy had stolen a biological weapon that could have killed THOUSANDS but no one wants to bring that up apparently.  Anyway, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) seems to be in a bad place right now and the guilt over his actions in the last ten or so movies are starting to eat away at him, so when the US government and the UN come to the Avengers with some international regulations, he jumps at the opportunity to get them all on board.  The biggest opponent to this new form of oversight though is Captain America (Chris Evans) who sees the writing on the wall and the possibility of those checking their power using that for nefarious ends.  Things only get worse when a UN meeting in Vienna about the new Avenger regulations (known as the Sokovia Accords) gets bombed as part of a terrorist attack and the only suspect is Bucky Barnes The Winter Solider (Sebastian Stan) who if you recall from the second Captain America movie escaped his captors and has been laying low ever since.  Not only is everyone and their grandma after this guy, but Captain America is the only one convinced that he could not have done it which makes it that much harder to keep the government, the other Avengers, and a new super hero Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) off of his back.  Can he clear Bucky’s name before the world leaders put a bullet in both their heads?  Who really DID bomb the UN meeting?  Will he be able to convince his fellow Avengers as well as Tony that the Sokovia Accords will lead to more harm than good?  Most importantly, how many cameos are they gonna squeeze into this!?

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“Did you guys kidnap me?”     “Yup.”     “That’s AWESOME!”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Episode 22 (Romance Under the Moon: Usagi’s First Kiss)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

Sailor Moon and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Toei Animation and licensed by Viz Media

Episode directed by Yuji Endo

We’re back with another episode of Great Moon-spectations!  After eleven episodes straight of filler, we get to another episode that’s part of the manga and was also remade in Sailor Moon Crystal!  Will this one manage to be the better of the two, or did Crystal manage to improve on whatever shortcomings this episode might have?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Usagi; late as always and running her ass to school before the bell rings.  On her way there, she runs into Naru who’s recalling the events of episode nineteen where Masato Sanjoin (Nephrite’s secret identity) started stringing her along because he thought she was Sailor Moon.  Naru already had a crush on the guy, but her last interaction with him left things a bit awkward to say the least.

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“On the one hand, he tried to murder me.  On the other hand, he has AMAZING hair…”

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Cinema Dispatch: Ratchet & Clank

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 6 Comments

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Ratchet & Clank and all the images you see in this review are owned by Gramercy Pictures and Focus Features

Directed by Jericca Cleland and Kevin Munroe

Well THIS certainly is a unique specimen!  I mean… it IS for another two weeks until Angry Birds comes out (ugh).  What we have here is the first CG animated film that has gotten a wide release in US theaters!  You’d think SOMEONE would have thought to do this by now considering how many of the pre-generation seven game heroes were aimed at children and some variation of a loveable animal character.  While Uwe Bowl was fucking around with Alone in the Dark and Postal, no one was willing to give Sonic the Hedgehog or Megaman a shot?  Well that all ends HERE with this movie based on the iconic video game series AND the added bonus of Insomniac games being a part of the production to make sure it’s done justice!  Do they succeed in making the first CG animated video game movie, or is this one big glorified cut scene that wouldn’t have passed muster in 2002?  Let’s find out!!

The movie is all about Ratchet (James Arnold Taylor); a cat like creature who lives a Tatooine knock off and spends his time poorly repairing hovercrafts by adding (presumably illegal) modifications that no one asked for and no one would find useful.  Oh well, at least he has heart, and dreams, and… probably other stuff too that the movie doesn’t really get into.  He’s THE HERO’S JOURNEY writ large and he’s got a call to action lined up for him!  Apparently some bad guys are blowing up planets for reasons (probably because their dicks) and so the team that defends the WHOLE galaxy has decided to increase their ranks from four… to FIVE!!  Okay… well the group, known as the Galactic Rangers, are holding tryouts to find this fifth member (there isn’t already a training program or an academy or something?) which Ratchet participates in, but fails miserably; probably due to his extensive arrest record.  Things may look grim for Ratchet who’s still stuck on this dirt planet, but salvation arrives in the form of a little robot who crash lands near the garage Ratchet works at, and he rushes to save him!  The little robot seems to know something about the villain’s evil plan and must get to the Galactic Rangers to warn them.  Ratchet agrees to help, gives the little guy the name Clank (David Kaye), and they’re off to save the Rangers and the Galaxy as they know it!  Can they manage to stop the bad guys from blowing up the rest of the galaxy?  Will the Galactic Rangers accept them as one of their own?  Did… did anyone actually sit down to watch this before shoving it into theaters?

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“PLEASE!  MAKE IT STOP!!”     “It’s too late Qwark!  We’ve already sequel baited!”     “NOOO!!”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal Act 30 (Infinity 4: Haruka Tenoh, Michiru Kaioh – Sailor Uranus, Sailor Neptune)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

We’re back with another episode of The Women from M.O.O.N!  Uranus and Neptune are still keeping tight lipped about what they plan to do, but hopefully now that everything is out in the open things will FINALLY progress without this massive roadblock that’s slowing the plot down to a crawl.  Can we actually move past the mystery of whether these two are bad guys, or are we gonna have to watch as all the other Scouts slowly realize this over the course of the season?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins right after Uranus and Neptune’s grandiose introduction to the Sailor Scouts; all of whom are slacked jawed as if they had just sat through a production of Springtime for Hitler.  Despite introducing themselves as Sailor Guardians and letting them know exactly what planet and power they represent (on top of making it completely clear EXACTLY who they are outside of the costumes) they CONTINUE to tell them to get out of their lives and that none of this concerns them.  I’m sure they’ll invite them to dinner at their apartment, and take them go karting before asking them to go away and never see them again right before THEN planning their summer vacation together.

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“Except for now, and those other times.  We’re serious!”     “TOTALLY serious!”

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