Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog 6-7

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Sonic the Hedgehog and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Archie Comics and Sega of America

We’re back with more comics about our favorite Mickey Mouse knockoff!!  We’re still very much in the early days before this comic really got a sense of what it was going to be other than a funny book companion to the video games, but even if it’s just a fluff series, it can still be enjoyable if they know how to tell good jokes and come up with interesting one shot ideas.  Do they manage to pull that off in these two issues?  Let’s find out!!

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Issue 6 (January 1994)

This issue, at least for the first half, a tie in to Sonic Spinball which I’m pretty sure is the only Sonic game that takes place in the Sat AM universe.  Well, I DO have my suspicions about that Sonic Generations 2 game or whatever it is coming out in 2017 (the tagline is Join the Resistance) but until that’s confirmed, this is the only Sat AM tie in game.  Unfortunately, that ALSO means that nothing of particular consequence is going to happen here as trying to tie any great continuity (that’s only barely getting established in the first place) to a pinball game is probably not the best idea long term.  But since we might as well get into it, the issue begins with the Freedom Fighters storming one of Robotnik’s factories to take him out once and for all (you KNOW they’re serious because Boomer brought a hammer), but the find it completely deserted and with a letter pinned to the front door informing them that Robotnik’s base of operations is now inside of volcano.  Probably not the WORST idea as far supervillain lairs go, but the addition of rails to get people easily through the facility may have been something he should have decided against.

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“Blasts!  Why did I bother installing those in the first place!?”     “We asked you about them SEVEN times before going into construction, but you were REALLY adamant about it.”     “Are you talking back to me, smart guy!?”

There’d really not much to this in terms of plot or drama.  He goes through a series of rooms to beat up some hapless bad guys while spouting off a few puns and I die a little more inside as the wordplay in here should be classified as an enhanced interrogation technique.

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At the end of the story he gets ejected from the Volcano and tentatively vows to go back there at some point with a little editorial note in the corner for fans to send letters in if they want more spinball action.  It doesn’t even really play like the game either as there’s barely a pinball mechanics in the way he takes out his enemies or even traverses the environment.  Hell, he rides a mine cart more often then he runs into a flipper, and his journey throughout the facility ends up being a series of rooms with lame bad guys to beat up (including some Audrey Two knock off because why not).  Hopefully the readers were just as unenthused as I was and we aren’t going to see more of the volcano in the future.  Sadly, that ends up being the GOOD story here as the second one is… sigh… Sonic’s Christmas Carol…

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Go fuck yourself.  Seriously, GO.  FUCK.  YOURSELF.

So apparently Boomer is our Bob Cratchit in this story as he works for Scrooge-Botnik in his robot making factory that turns all the happy creatures of the forest into mechanical abominations.  Wait, what?  So they’re not even trying to have this make sense and are instead keeping Robotnik as the world destroying dictator that he is!?  Then why should we care about his redemption!?  Scrooge may have been an asshole, but he wasn’t committing GENOCIDE!  Worse yet, Boomer is working for him now, so he’s a total sellout!  This isn’t as much A Christmas Carol as it is a story about Hitler being mean to one his SS officers!  FUCK BOTH OF THEM!!

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What family!?  You probably already killed them all!  In fact, why the hell isn’t HE a robot yet!?

The only thing of note in this story is it’s the first appearance of Snively who was one of the antagonists of the Sat AM series playing the Jacob Marley role here.  The guy’s gonna show up from here on out, so I GUESS this counts as an introduction even though this isn’t in any way set in the same continuity as the rest of the comic series (what little continuity there is so far).  Other than that (and that barely counts as anything) there’s nothing in this issue worth reading as it’s both a weak tie in to one of the games and an even weaker recreation of the most overused story of all time.  Seriously, no one can do A Christmas Carol for like, the next thirty years!

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Issue 7 (February 1994)

While the last issue may have had next to nothing of note in it, this one starts off with a story that’ll DEFINITELY have some bearing later down the line.  After Boomer accidently launches Tails into the ceiling of the underground base (seesaws are SERIOUS BUSINESS), they find a map up there that leads to Chuck’s Secret Treasure.  Who is Chuck?  In the Sat AM series, he’s Sonic’s kindly old uncle who got taken by Robotnik and turned into a robot.  I have exactly two memories of the Sat AM series from when I was a kid.  There was an episode where Antoine when crazy after Sonic stayed with him for ONE night, and there was an episode where Sonic turned Chuck back to a good guy for a couple of minutes before he went back to evil and Sonic escaped on a train or something.  Needless to say that Chuck is a very important character in the series, and while he’s only mentioned here (his robot form is not shown), it is worth pointing out that he’s finally been established in this series.

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“Wait, has that picture always been there?”     “Nope, I just put it up fifteen seconds ago.  Super speed, remember?”

The treasure hunt itself is hardly what I would call eventful.  There’s a nice overarching theme here where they go to find the treasure in what USED to be a beautiful nature preserve that is now polluted beyond repair (a reminder that despite all the puns they ARE at war with a dictator that completely devastated their home) but other than that it’s your standard Sonic fare.  Robotnik gets wind of their plans, sends his robots to attack, and Sonic manages to outsmart them.

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“WHY THE HELL COULDN’T YOU JUST RUN DOWN THE HILL!?  It’s gonna take me WEEKS to get this oil out of my fur!!”     “Well EXCUUUUUSE ME, Princess!”

Sonic may have saved all the Freedom Fighters (once again) from an early grave, but in doing so has ensured that Robotnik will get away with the treasure Uncle Chuck had left.  Oh well.  Sonic knows that friends are more important than treasure, and he has a pretty good idea of what the treasure is which will be worthless to Robotnik anyway.  This turns out to be the case as the gift is actually Sonic’s bronzed baby boots that cause Robotnik to throw a hissy fit, but you’d think a guy who uses THAT much metal wouldn’t mind having some more to throw on the smelting pile!  This was an okay story as there was some stuff in the background that was at least interesting (the environmental deterioration as well as Uncle Chuck now an official character here), but the shenanigans and puns that are standard in every issue are starting to grate on my nerves.  The next story sort of shakes things up a bit as it’s a Sally focused adventure which starts on… whatever the Mobius version of Halloween is.  Boomer seems to refer to it as Fright Night but unless a vampire is involved, I will steadfast refuse to call it that.  Sally needs a final piece to make her outfit complete and both Antoine and Sonic volunteer to go with her; both of whom she refuses because she’s a Strong Independent WomanTM.

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“Who’s in line for succession when she gets killed?”     “I don’t know, Boomer?”     “OH SHIT!!”

I’m not sure what brought about this desire to free herself from the shackles of… protection, but whatever the reason is, she goes out alone to find a stick for her sorceress outfit.  She manages to find one that is just perfect (even curls at the end) and manages to convince herself that it’s an ACTUAL magic stick when a rock she’s looking at flies up into the sky due to a geyser.  Okay… well robotnik (always watching) manages to catch this on video, but no the fact that this is Sally or that the rock moved from water pressure as opposed to some sort of magic.  This new sorcerer is just what Robortnik was looking for to fill out his evil army as well as… his heart!

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Gotta say that I love the look on Robotnik’s face there.  It’s more horrifying than watching Lord Hater reluctantly smile at one of Wander’s songs in that one show that NO ONE FREAKING WATCHED!  Anyway, Robotnik goes to confess his love to the woodland critter who can’t reveal her true identity (lest her head wind up mounted on his wall as a trophy) so she tries to go along with it at first until the guy up and proposes to her.  At this point it’s more of a kidnapping than anything else but luckily for Sally, Sonic was watching the whole time despite her order not to!  For some reason, he finds it JUST as important to not get caught by Sally as it is to save her so he pulls a brand new power out of his ass that as far as I know has never shown up in the games (no idea about the cartoons) to save the day!  With Sally facing the wrong end of a shotgun wedding, Sonic manages to spin SO FAST that he becomes invisible!  I mean, I’m pretty sure The Flash can do shit like that, but I’m PRETTY sure this is new territory for Sonic the Hedgehog!  Using this new ability, he manages to beat the crap out of Robotnik and carry Sally off to safety so that she doesn’t become either a robotic monstrosity or a full time magician.  And what does Sonic get for saving her ass once again?

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“You know… Prince Boomer wouldn’t be SOO bad.”

A conk on the head? Really?  Oh, but she gave him a kiss first so that’s alright.  Look, I know she didn’t want anyone keeping an eye on her, but there’s a very good reason for someone to do so, even if she wasn’t royalty.  Robotnik’s quest of ethnic cleansing is pretty far reaching, so until his ass is grass, NO ONE should be wandering the woods alone!  Oh well, at least this issue managed to be pretty entertaining for the most part.  The first half managed to flesh out the world a bit despite the predicable nature of its plot, and the second half at least gave Sally something to do even if it wasn’t all that compelling.

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Well that’s it for this look at the Sonic comics!  Nothing too exciting overall, but there’s still PLENTY of time for them to get better and try new things.  Let’s just hope they get there sooner rather than later, or else these reviews are gonna get a tad repetitive.

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One thought on “Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog 6-7

  1. Pingback: Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog 8-9 | The Reviewers Unite!

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