Monthly Archives: May 2016

The Cartoon Physicist’s Noughtie List: Plastic Man

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Cinema Dispatch: The Nice Guys

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The Nice Guys and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by Shane Black

How amazing is it that on the cusp of a freaking Lethal Weapon television show premiering that Shane Black (the writer of the original film) has a new movie out in theaters just to show the futility of even TRYING to recreate what he did back in 1987?  The guy may not be as prolific as some other great filmmakers out there, but between the films he wrote and the ones he directed, there’s no denying that Shane Black is a first rate talent that we should all be thankful is out there making movies.  Does his latest film live up to his track record of excellence, or is this the first sign that the guy is tapped out creatively and that it’s all downhill from here?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follows Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe) and Holland March (Ryan Gosling); the former being a goon for hire and the latter being a detective from the Richard Moore School of Sleuthing.  The duo cross paths early on as Ryan Gosling is trying to find a girl (Margaret Qualley) for a client but the girl CLEARLY does not want to be found.  Because of this, she hires Russell Crowe to convince him to stop, which he does… violently.  Unfortunately for the both of them, this case is a lot bigger than either of them anticipated and after an assassination attempt fails to take out Russell Crowe, he goes to see Ryan Gosling about teaming up to find out what the hell is really going on here.  Along for the ride (despite Ryan Gosling’s insistence to the contrary) is Holly March (Angourie Rice) who may only be a teenager, but is at least half as good as a detective as her father claims to be.  Along their journey, they’re run afoul of gangsters, pornographers, at least one politician, and a shit load of gunfights as they search for answers and try to do something good for once in their wretched and miserable lives!  Can this trio find out who this girl really is and why everyone is looking for her?  Can these two knuckleheads work together without one of them killing the other?  Does Shane Black find a way to fit in Christmas again!?

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“Feliz Navidad you sack of shit.”     “Isn’t your daughter waiting for you in the car?”     “She knows how to get back home.”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal Act 33 (Infinity 7: Transformation – Super Sailor Moon)

We’re back with another episode of Sailor Moon Z!  The last episode managed to really kick the story into high gear which was good considering that several of the episodes prior to that ground everything to a screeching halt as we circled around the same plot points with no real forward momentum.  Ironically, the show that is known for going too damn fast ended up slowing things down TOO much.  Does this episode finally find a happy medium between the two, or is the concept of a properly paced episode of Crystal as likely as Uranus’s and Neptune’s actions actually making any sense?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins where the last one left off, mainly with the non-royal family members beating the hell out of each other and the Doublemint Twin Witches bragging about it.  Fortunately, the Holy Grail has just materialized and has the power to release the Scouts from the mind control spell the witches had cast on them.  Not only that, but the Outer Senshi’s talismans (Aqua Mirror, Space Sword, and Garnet Orb) are all reacting to the Holy Grail and getting a significant power boost!  Yeah, Sailor Moon would only get in the way MY ASS!!

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“You’re Welcome!”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (The Saddle Row Review)

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

Welcome back to another episode of Rasho-Pony!  So far, season 6 has been a somewhat more successful version of the underwhelming fifth season.  While last season promised change and exploration but failed to deliver on it, this season feels a bit more assured of itself and has tried some new ideas here and there to keep things fresh.  Does that work for this episode where it’s essentially one big flashback to piece together the story up to now, or will this be a gimmick that wears out its welcome all too quickly?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with five of the Mane6 frantically racing towards Rarity’s house in the hopes of stopping her from reading a review of the opening night at her Manehattan Boutique.  The reason why is not clear yet, but it has something to do with information that they apparently divulged to the fashion critic which is presumably NEGATIVE information based on how they’re rushing to stop her from reading it.  Unfortunately they are too late as Rarity has the newspaper in hand and is merely waiting for her friends to arrive so she can read it with them.  For the sake of conflict, she refuses to listen to anything they say and proceeds to read it out loud; the others deciding to start hiding behind heavy objects while she does so.

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“If you want to kill me, you’ll have to go through these outfits first!!”     “DAMN!  My one weakness!”

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Cinema Dispatch: The Angry Birds Movie

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The Angry Birds Movie and all the images you see in this review are owned by Columbia Pictures

Directed by Clay Kaytis and Fergal Reilly

After the disaster that was Ratchet & Clank, this COULDN’T be worse… right?  Honestly, with the track record that video game adaptations have, it’s not like a shitty movie based on a mobile game can tarnish their legacy any more than Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li did, which isn’t to say that I have any hope for this movie; just that it’s not in a position to do much damage.  Does this turn out to be an unexpectedly competent surprise, or just another awful adaptation to add to the pile?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follows the angriest bird in Birdville, or whatever this place is called, named Red (Jason Sudeikis) who has finally pushed the citizens of Bird-opolis to the breaking point!  After an “incident” gets out of hand involving a slightly messed up cake and cracked egg, Red is assigned to mandatory Anger Management which is led by Matilda (Maya Rudolph) and is attended by Chuck (Josh Gad), Bomb (Danny McBride), and Terence (Sean Penn); none of whom are particularly well adjusted.  That’s only the first half of the movie though.  Eventually, a ship chock full of pigs arrives at the Island of Birds and come offering friendship and gifts of the outside world!  Only Red can see that they’re up to no good though, but no one wants to listen to him because… well he’s an asshole.  Still, he manages to get Bomb and Chuck on his side enough so that they agree to go with him to find the LEGENDARY MIGHTY EAGLE who is said to watch over Bird-sylvania and aid it in its time of need.  Can red get over his anger issues long enough to do some real good for his fellow birds?  Can the LEGENDARY MIGHTY EAGLE save the town before the pigs enact their nefarious plan?  Have these birds never bothered to go off of their island!?  How have they never heard of pigs before!?

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“Whatever it is, I think we should worship it.”     “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”     “HERETIC!!”     “Don’t you mean… HAM-etic?”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Episode 23 (Wish Upon a Star: Naru’s First Love)

Sailor Moon and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Toei Animation and licensed by Viz Media

Episode directed by Harume Kosaka

We’re back with another episode of The Naru Diaries!  Before we ran off to the beach, visited an animation studio, and attended a fancy ball, there was a subplot brewing about Naru loving Masato Sanjoin and Nephrite planning to use that to his nefarious advantage!  While it was brought up a bit in the last episode, this is the first time that that will be the focus of its own episode!  Will the fact that Usagi has to protect someone she cares about change up the formula and give us a fresh look at the series, or was this story dead on arrival three episodes ago?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Naru who is still pining for Masato Sanjoin and is not in the least bit deterred that, in her short time knowing him, he accused her of being Sailor Moon while wearing a stupid outfit and then following that up with possessing her to assault an international figure head.  It MUST be true love!

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“Who DOESN’T love a bad boy?”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal Act 32 (Infinity 6: Three Guardians)

We’re back with another episode of Quantum Pluto!  When we had left our heroes, the latest member of Team Outer Senshi had fully awakened to their powers and is ready to help them save the world!  The last episode suffered from having no real direction and continuing to hammer home points that had already been addressed in prior episodes with no real advancement; bringing the show to a standstill as none of the subplots were ready to move forward just yet.    Hopefully now that everything is starting to be out in the open, the show can finally give us something new.  Do we get it this time, or are we still gonna have to deal with problems we saw the solution to several episodes ago?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Chibi-Usa running to greet the apparently reincarnated Sailor Pluto who showed up at the end of the last episode to finish off the witch who was about to chop the young Scout’s head off.  Pluto remembers Chibi-Usa and explains that she was reborn by Neo Queen Serenity to fulfill some important mission.  It’s not clear whether or not she had lost her memories up to this point, but I think the more pertinent point is that NEO QUEEN SEREINTY CAN RAISE THE DEAD!!  They don’t explain how she was able to do it, but that seems like a pretty useful power to have at your beck and call; especially to use on a Sailor Guardian who can go to whatever time they want.  Presumably the “bring back to life” process is a form of reincarnation like it was for the other Sailor Scouts which means it takes a good fifteen years to get going (or more like twenty in Pluto’s case) so it’s not something she can use as a plan B, but it’s still pretty useful!  Wait… now I’m confused.  Can Neo Queen Serenity go back in time too without the aid of Pluto to… I guess imbue an unborn baby with Pluto’s genetic code?  How does bringing her back to life in the past affect the events in the future?  Why didn’t she send a message to her younger self letting her know to keep an eye out for the reincarnation!?

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“You probably have a lot of questions.  The answer to all of them is MAGIC.”

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