Cinema Dispatch: Love the Coopers

November 20, 2015September 8, 2020 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

Love the Coopers and all the images you see in this review are owned by CBS Films and Lionsgate

Directed by Jessie Nelson

‘Tis the season for the bold and foolhardy to try and make films that will enter into the catalog of class Christmas movies! Probably the last one to make the leap to big leagues in regard to enduring Christmas Classics is Love Actually from 2003, but that hasn’t stopped film makers from trying to break into that market which brings us to today’s feature. Will this movie face this challenge head on and make it through the neigh impossible glass ceiling of beloved Christmas films, or will this be yet another failed attempt to recreate that Christmas magic and will be doomed to the same fate as Four Christmases, Deck the Halls, or god forbid Christmas with the Cranks? Let’s find out!!

The movie follows the misadventures of several members of the Cooper family on Christmas Eve as everyone is trying to get ready for the family dinner that is to take place later that night. At the head of the family is Sam and Charlotte Cooper (John Goodman and Diane Keaton) who are trying to keep it together long enough for them to have a happy holiday with the family despite the fact that they plan to get divorced soon after the season ends. We also have Charlotte’s sister Emma (Marisa Tomei) who’s just a bitter jerk during the holidays (think Marie Schrader from Breaking Bad) and gets caught shoplifting which means she has to get out of it while being driven to the police station by a cop played by Anthony Mackie. Charlotte and Sam’s kids are Hank and Eleanor (Ed Helms and Olivia Wilde) who have their own problems to deal with as the former just recently got divorced and then fired from his job while the later… just doesn’t like coming home for the holidays and is procrastinating in an airport with a solider she just met (Jake Lacy). There are other members of the family such as, Bucky Cooper (Alan Arkin) who’s hanging around the fringe of everyone’s story but also has his own thing going on with a waitress in a diner played by Amanda Seyfried, and Aunt Fishy (June Squibb) who’s basically playing a female version of Grandpa Simpson. With all these characters dealing with their problems during the most stressful time of the year, will they somehow manage to have a happy Christmas, or will this end in total disaster? Can this movie manage to juggle all these subplots without feeling like a poorly paced mess? Okay, seriously. Can’t we just watch Love Actually instead?

LTCCC1 — “We’re gonna get through this. Just grin and bear it for a little bit longer.”

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Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Episode 5 (Scent of a Monster: Chanela Will Steal Your Love)

November 19, 2015May 6, 2020 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 3 Comments

Sailor Moon and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Toei Animation and licensed by Viz Media

Episode directed by Yuji Endo

We’re back with another episode of Sailor Moon Retro! When we last left our heroes, they were in a rather uncomfortable and dated adventure regarding weight loss and self-esteem. In hindsight, it may not have been the BEST way to tackle those subjects, but then again you can’t always go back to stuff from twenty years ago and expect it to get everything right in regards to modern sensibilities. Besides, I’m sure that’s gonna be the ONLY time that this show will be THAT blatantly nineties, right? It’s not like they’ll make an episode about Furbies or something! Oh wait, this episode is about cute artificial animals that people can’t get enough of? Okay then. Well to be fair, this episode predates those toys by at least six years so maybe they were simply ahead of their time when they made this! Will this episode manage to bring the series back on track after the stumble that was the last episode, or will the show continue to feel out of place and outdated as they continue to scramble to come up with episodes to fill out the season? Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Usagi having a nightmare where she’s being chased by… I don’t know, the Smoke Monster?

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 5 (The Hooffields and McColts)

November 17, 2015July 3, 2016 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 5 Comments

Welcome back to another episode of The Ponyville Hill-Ponies! This time around we take a trip to whatever the heck is the Equestrian equivalent of the Deep South for yet another mission doled out by the all-knowing and all-seeing map of friendship! The map, like the rest of the season, has had its ups and downs in terms of quality episodes, but it’s easily the most interesting concept they came up with this season and definitely gives the writers some creative freedom to explore the world. Will they manage to live up to the potential that the map provides them with, or will this be another safe and predictable episode in a season that had just a bit too much of that already? Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Fluttershy hosting a book club for all her animal friends where they are reading Wuthering Hooves. Wow. There’s uh… there’s a lot to cover already. First of all, I’m pretty sure they’re taking MY shtick right now considering how many bad literary horse and animal puns I’ve already done in these recaps.

MLP23-1 — “After this we’ll read Catcher in the Rhinoceros by J.D. Salamander, and then follow that up with the Mill-neigh-nium Trilogy by Stag Larsson!”

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The NekoCon Diaries (Part 3): Swag Review and Grab Bag Unboxing

November 15, 2015November 18, 2015 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 4 Comments

As is tradition with any convention, you end up spending way too much on stuff you’ll never use that’s much cheaper on Amazon. I’m certainly guilty here, but I think I got a pretty decent haul overall for what I ended up paying and have decided to share it with all of you! I’ll first talk about the merchandise I picked out and then we’ll do an unboxing of the grab bags that I purchased from some of the tables! Let’s get started!!

Throughout this adventure, I learned one very important thing. I. LOVE. SAILOR. JUPITER!!

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The NekoCon Diaries (Part 2): FUNimation and Aniplex Industry Panels

November 15, 2015November 15, 2015 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

We took a look at some of the panels last time around, but now we’re getting to the BIG ones! The panels hosted by two of the current giants of anime here in the United States which are FUNimation and Aniplex! No point in dawdling! Let’s get started!!

FUNumation Industry Panel

I’m not sure what I was expecting from this sort of corporate event, but it ended up being an advertising bonanza with them showcasing their recent releases, what they plan to release for the upcoming season and the streaming services they are currently offering. Right now, you can gain access to FUNimation’s entire back catalog of shows in one of two ways. With a Sub Pass, you can watch any anime that FUNimation has rights to the subtitled version of as well as their subtitled Simulcasts. With the All-Access Pass though, you can access that as well as all their dubbed anime, as well as a couple of extras not available for the Sub Pass.

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The NekoCon Diaries (Part 1): Introduction and Panel Discussion

November 15, 2015November 15, 2015 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

So last weekend (11/6-11/9), I was at NekoCon 18 in Hampton Virginia and it was the first big(ish) con I had ever been to. I went there with occasional site collaborator Matthew Wimer (Doctor Scientist) who had been there about two years ago. I was very nervous overall and, as I usually do, ended up not talking to very many people and just wandered around in my down time. I didn’t get a lot of pictures which I feel kind of silly about in hindsight, but those are the breaks. Maybe next year I’ll do better and be a bit more active overall. Still, I can use this space to talk about my experiences and the panels/events that we took part of throughout the weekend! Let’s get started!!

Lovely Heart Maid Café

So for some reason, Doctor Scientist was pretty insistent that we get to this place at some point, but I wasn’t all that into the idea. Sure enough, when we did get there it was a pretty awkward experience. I can understand the appeal of Kawaii stuff in anime and whatnot, but it wasn’t all that comfortable for someone to be hanging around the table making cute faces and acting like a seven year old while in a maid outfit. Now it seems that all the girls who were working there were REALLY into the roles and were enjoying themselves for the most part (they were technically working as waitresses, so only a certain level of fun can realistically be achieved) and the maid who was working at our table eventually convinced me to pay a dollar to have a picture taken with them. I had Doctor Scientist take it and of course he screwed it up, but I didn’t feel the need to either insist that the maid take another picture or pay her for another one.

Seriously dude. Have you EVER used a camera phone before!? And yes, I’m dressed as Travis Touchdown from No More Heroes.

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Cinema Dispatch: The Peanuts Movie

November 13, 2015September 9, 2020 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

The Peanuts Movie and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Fox

Directed by Steve Martino

At the very least, this movie couldn’t have asked for a better time to come out. Jem and the Holograms bombed both financially and critically only a month ago, so this being the next adaptation of a beloved franchise aimed at children is going to have some favorable comparisons. Still, even early on there was a lot to look forward to here. Once they revealed the artwork and animation style that would be used to bring this classic series to life, it got people very excited at the prospect of another Peanuts movie. Does this manage to live up to the expectations that the trailers gave us, or will this be yet another failed attempt to capitalize on a well-known brand? Let’s find out!!

The movie is about that eternally put upon optimist, Charlie “Good Grief” Brown! It’s not an origin story so this is taking place at pretty much any time in the continuity where everyone is well aware of Charlie Brown and what a boob he is. In fact, it’s being going on so long that the prospect of a new kid moving to town fills him with joy due to the fact that he finally has a chance to make a good impression on someone before they find out what a loser he is. The new kid in question is the Little Red-Haired Girl who he ends up falling head of heels in love with immediately but this also adds much more anxiety to his already anxious and downtrodden existence. He’s certain that the moment he opens his mouth to her that he’ll reveal himself as a dud so he resolves to make himself a better person beforehand! Can Charlie Brown reach his self-improvement goals before the end of the school year? Will he ever build up the confidence to talk to the girl of his dreams? Wait, isn’t this the same plot as The 40-Year-Old Virgin?

“You know when you feel it, and it feels like a bag of sand…” “That’s not sand you block head! They fill hacky sacks with rice or plastic beads! NOT SAND!!”

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Cinema Dispatch: Spectre

November 11, 2015September 8, 2020 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Spectre and all the images you see in this review are owned by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures and Columbia Pictures

Directed by Sam Mendes

Has it really been three years since Skyfall!? That movie was absolutely fantastic, wasn’t it? Well now the same crew (minus Roger Deakins) is back to give us the next entry in the James Bond franchise! Will they be able to make another fantastic entry in the long running franchise, or will this fail to live up to the massive expectations that Skyfall left us with? Let’s find out!!

As expected, the movie is about the lovable spy James Bond (Daniel Craig) and his latest efforts to find the mysterious organization that’s been hunting him and causing chaos from behind the shadows! I though they already figured out it was Quantum, but whatever. After a VERY explosive mission in Mexico, he’s one step closer to finding this evil organization but problems arise when it turns out he went out on his own without MI6 approval. This is particularly troubling for the organization (and M played by Ralph Fiennes) due to the government still wanting to shut them down which you may recall being a subplot in the previous film. In its place, the government wants to establish a worldwide surveillance program that’s being headed up by Max Denbigh (Andrew Scott) who seems just a bit too eager to get Bond out the way. Bond once again goes out on his own (has he listened to anyone since maybe Casino Royale?) to follow up on his leads to find whoever it is that’s pulling the strings behind recent events and is probably controlling Quantum, though that’s still a bit unclear. Will Bond discover what this organization is that they spoil in the title? Will he find the mastermind behind this (Christoph Waltz) who we’ve been told is NOT Blowfeld but who the hell else would be the head of Spectre? Will James Bond finally get to the bottom of something without having to kill every lead he has!? It’s probably gonna be a no on that last one.

“RUNNING! RUNNING! RUNNING! RUNNING!!!!!!!!”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 5 (What About Discord?)

November 10, 2015July 3, 2016 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

We’re back with another episode of The Twilight Sparkle Show! After the two back to back holiday episodes, it’s time to get the series back into the swing of things, and what better way to do that than with another Discord episode? John de Lancie’s preeminent performance as the god of all chaos is definitely a highlight of the series, but his presence can occasionally be a bit underwhelming, especially when he’s being overly needy instead of a rascally force of destruction. Will this end up being another classic Discord episode, or will we finally tire with his never ending antics and codependency? Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Twilight playing the library equivalent of fifty-two pick up, in that she took ALL the books off the shelves and is going to put them back on (with Spike’s help obviously). Look, I’ve had jobs where the best thing to do when bored was alphabetize the DVD bins, but she’s using up a three day weekend (what holiday is it, Celestia Day?) to re-alphabetize the library which I’m PRETTY sure is already alphabetized! Is it just me, or is Twilight becoming less and less relatable as the series goes on? She started off as an introverted bookworm who had her moments of wackiness, but was definitely an audience avatar when compared to the vibrant and specific personalities of the other characters. They’ve since added to her character and given her defining traits, but I think they’ve gone a bit too far and are approaching Big Bang Theory levels of cartoonish nerdiness.

“After alphabetizing these books, we can follow that up with a rousing series of calculus problems followed by three dimensional chess!” “Can I just go outside?” “NO!! WE’RE BONDING!!!”

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Cinema Dispatch: Our Brand Is Crisis

November 9, 2015September 8, 2020 ~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

Our Brand Is Crisis and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by David Gordon Green

I’m pretty sure I saw a trailer for this before every single movie in the last four or five months. Now that we finally get a chance to see this political dramedy about campaign management, does it actually turn out to be any good? Well this is basically a hodgepodge of people we like but who don’t always make the best career choices, such as Sandra Bullock, Billy Bob Thornton, David Gordon Green as the director, and even George Clooney who’s producing this and will sometimes have a misstep. Will this be another great film from people we know can make great movies, or is this gonna be one big disaster that we only sometimes expect from them? Let’s find out!!

The movie follows Sandra Bullock as Jane (colloquially known as Calamity Jane) who was at one time the best campaign manager in the United States. She won many elections in her career but along the way she developed a drug habit and became an alcoholic to the point that she started to become a laughing stock in her field and eventually checked into the Betty Ford clinic. The movie picks up several years later and she’s spent the intervening time alone in the woods in exile or something until two campaign managers Ben and Nell (Anthony Mackie and Ann Dowd) who are working on a campaign in Bolivia and are so far behind that they’re desperate enough to try and call Jane out of retirement. When she finds out that their opponent is being managed by her rival Pat Candy (Billy Bob Thornton) she agrees to go there and help out, but is quickly unimpressed by what she finds. A candidate who seems checked out and disinterested, a staff composed of idiots who can’t even speak Spanish, and polls that put the guy over twenty points behind their opposition. Can Jane get back into the swing of things and whip this campaign into shape, or will she end up losing herself again throughout this whole ordeal!?

“What do you think our chances are?” “Honestly? I think Rick Santorum had a better chance of winning the presidency.” “2012 Santorum, or 2016 Santorum?” “Does it matter?” “I guess not.”

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