Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal (Episode 14)

After thirteen episodes of varying quality, lackluster characterization, and insanely swift storytelling, the Silver Millennium story arc comes to a close.  With the end of such a personal journey for our heroes in sight, does the show give us a satisfying conclusion, or is this yet weak episode in a series that needs to REALLY start to bring it’s A game if it wants to hold onto its audience in the future?  There’s only one way to find out and that’s to keep on reading!!

The episode begins with Usagi firing off her Moon Staff thingy at Queen Metalia which reduces the would-be tyrant to dust.  No wait, it does diddly squat.

“SHIT!  I was REALLY banking on that one to work!”

“SHIT! I was REALLY banking on that one to work!”

Fortunately Mamoru knows exactly what is needed for them to succeed.

“We’re REALLY close to the end of this Story Arc!  Just keep praying that it’ll all get better soon!!”

“We’re REALLY close to the end of this Story Arc!  Just keep praying that it’ll all get better soon!!”

Sailor Moon redoubles her efforts and draws on the memories of her friends (most of which are dead I think) for more strength.  The prayers seem to have some sort of effect on the desolate remains of the Moon Kingdom, and we get to see the first of many “O” faces that Luna will make this episode.

“WAAAHH!?!?”

“WAAAHH!?!?”

Luna seems to realize that the key to winning is to pray your brains out, which leads to this amazing image.

“Save us Moon Jesus!!”

“Save us Moon Jesus!!”

The double team prayer attack seems to have the desire result, in that Metalia gets disintegrated by the moon power or whatever.

“FUCK YOU SKY!!!!”

“FUCK YOU SKY!!!!”

Am I the only a bit disappointed that Metalia never got a decent backstory?  I have no idea if she comes back, but considering she’s been the primary antagonist for a while now, it would have been nice to get a bit of pathos.  Considering we had to kill off the ACTUALLY interesting villain to get more screen time for her, it just feels a bit hollow as a victory.  Anyway, the final attack doesn’t come without a cost however, as Usagi’s broach shatters; which is the key to her transforming into Sailor Moon.  Still, the good guys have finally won and the world is finally safe from Dark Kingdom.  The defeat of Metalia also seems to have completely restored the moon kingdom to its previous luster; and look!  Another Luna “O” face!

“WWAAAAAHHHH!?!?!?!?”

“WWAAAAAHHHH!?!?!?!?”

SERIOUSLY!!  Who the fuck WAS this cloud lady!?  Why did she have enough power that by SIMPLY EXISTING in some form was enough to turn an entire planet into a cursed wasteland!?   Why does her death magically restore the buildings!?  Oh right; Magic.  Back on Earth, Usagi is knocked out cold, presumably drained by her badass death beam.  Mamoru takes this opportunity to wake up her princess with a kiss which does the trick.

“DUDE!  She’s asleep!!”     “It’s okay.  I’m sort of a prince.”

“DUDE!  She’s asleep!!”     “It’s okay.  I’m sort of a prince.”

After waking up, she and she and Mamoru get to share a moment together before realizing that the other scouts are probably in less than stellar condition somewhere in Antarctica.  This leads to one of the weirdest bits of dialogue that I HOPE is a translation error.

What?  No seriously, WHAT!?

What?  No seriously, WHAT!?

Somehow, Mamoru can see the entire world?  And she’s able to see what HE’S seeing through his… hand?  WHAT!?  I didn’t even know Mamoru had powers!  I thought he was just a dude!!  They eventually find the (presumed) corpses of her friends, and Usagi begins to freak out when her cat starts to talk in her head from the Moon.  Huh.  This show is kinda weird.  Anyway, Luna beckons them to the Moon which they can somehow instantly teleport to because of the Moon Staff thingy.  The two of them get to the castle, and Luna and Artemis are there to greet them.

“The people though?  Yeah, they’re still dead as doornails.”

“The people though?  Yeah, they’re still dead as doornails.”

Luna informs Usagi that now that Silver Millennium has been restored, she is the rightful heir to thrown and should take her place there immediately.  Usagi however refused the title and would rather live her life as a high school student.  The Holo-Queen hears this and congratulates Usagi for abdicating he responsibilities.  Oh who am I kidding?  What the hell is waiting for her as Queen of a still dead planet?  The queen gives Usagi a special gift which is a brand new broach she can use to transform into Sailor Moon again.   Usagi then proceeds to do so and does another Moon Healing Ex-Machina to heal EVERY LAST PERSON ON EARTH!  That healing spell has some SERIOUS range!

That beam travels almost 240,000 miles BEFORE it circles the Earth!!

That beam travels almost 240,000 miles BEFORE it circles the Earth!!

Among those healed are the Sailor Scouts who wake up in Japan instead of Antarctica.

“It’s so warm.  DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING!!!!”

“It’s so warm.  DAMN YOU GLOBAL WARMING!!!!”

Usagi has also returned to Earth (I hope she didn’t leave Mamoru on the moon) and they all have a tearful reunion.

And now for another edition of AWKWARD FREEZE FRAME!!  Those are some TERRIBLE looking birds, and it’s even worse to see them animated

And now for another edition of AWKWARD FREEZE FRAME!!  Those are some TERRIBLE looking birds, and it’s even worse to see them animated

Please forgive me for not feeling all that emotional about this scene, because I’m FAR from buying it.  Maybe the most damning part of this is that they COMPLETELY sweep the Scouts’ sacrifice under the rug.

“You think the Holo-Queen can spare a couple of more pens?”     “Do they LOOK like Princesses?  I DIDN’T THINK SO!!”

“You think the Holo-Queen can spare a couple of more pens?”     “Do they LOOK like Princesses?  I DIDN’T THINK SO!!”

That’s it!  That’s the entire acknowledgement this plot point gets!  Does ANYONE other than me care about that?  SHOULD I care at all?  They’re almost certainly going to get their powers back in a later episode, but it might be nice to let one of these stories play out instead of just ignoring them until they basically resolve themselves.  Oh well.  And so everyone goes back to their daily lives.  Usagi is all wacky and relatable, while the other scouts are… there.

“What have been up to?”     “I’ve been practicing my standing and smiling!  What do you think?”     “Eh.  Needs work.”

“What have been up to?”     “I’ve been practicing my standing and smiling!  What do you think?”     “Eh.  Needs work.”

Actually, I’m lying.  Rei gets to foreshadow some future plot points, but their too vague to understand yet.  Hopefully they won’t show up in the next freaking episode.  I’M NOT READY TO START ANOTHER MAJOR STORY ARC!!  Mamoru and Usagi finally have their rendezvous at the park and exchange the keepsakes they have for each other.  And so the episode ends with our couple sharing a kiss in the park.  Except not really.

“CLEAR THE WAY OR ELSE YOU’LL GET SMOSHED BY A TARDIS!!”

“CLEAR THE WAY OR ELSE YOU’LL GET SMOOSHED BY A TARDIS!!”

It’s about this point that this show does another one of its insidious tricks and pulls me RIGHT BACK INTO IT at the very last second by implying some sort of change in the show’s tone.  Something falls out of the portal and it turns out to be that super young pink haired scout (I think she’s Sailor Pluto).  She lands on Usagi’s spine and somehow ends up kissing her man.

Not a single aspect of this image is appropriate.

Not a single aspect of this image is appropriate.

Usagi is now writhing in pain because of her bruised vertebrae and tries to confront this new challenger.  Unfortunately for her, the little brat is packing some serious heat and the episode ends with Usagi staring down the barrel of loaded pistol.

“Shit just got real.  You don’t even fully comprehend it, but trust me.  This is some serious business.”

“Shit just got real.  You don’t even fully comprehend it, but trust me.  This is some serious business.”

So what can I say about this episode?  Well, there’s absolutely nothing remarkable about it until the last two minutes.  It’s here to accomplish a simple goal, and that’s to wrap up all the loose ends that have been building up for the last three episodes.  It’s less an adventure with these characters, and more a cleanup job to clear the slate for whatever is going to happen next.  It makes it really hard to care about any of the supposed big events that happened here because they don’t have to do other than pay minor lip service to them.  Usagi’s broach broke!  Oh wait, she has a new one.  The scouts don’t have powers!  No one seems all that broken up about it.  The Moon Kingdom has been restored!  None of the people have, so it’s a bunch of empty buildings.  Hell, the show barely even seems to acknowledge that Mamrou just pulled some weird super power out of his ass!  Is this something I should have seen coming!?  Am I the moron because I though Mamoru had no super powers!?  I’ve chosen not to read the original manga or watch the original series while I do these recaps so that I can come at this from a fresh perspective and so I wouldn’t end up spending most of these things comparing it to what could possibly be better versions.  It’s times like these though that make me feel like I’m missing out on some key plot points BECAUSE I don’t have any prior knowledge of this series, and that’s NOT a good sign for a reboot.  The only time the episode came to life is at the end when a worm hold opened up above Usagi and Mamoru’s heads and spits a child onto their lap who’s got a loaded weapon.  I honestly have NO idea what’s going on and I’m glad that for once I can’t see where this shit is headed.  Still though, are we really gearing up for a new story arc this soon?  Is there no point in this show where it’ll slow down and try to be a bit more episodic nature?  Considering how much we rushed through in only fourteen episodes, it’d be nice to take a bit of a breather which it looks like we won’t get.  Still, I’m interested once again to see what’s going to happen in this series, and I really hope that whatever happens next isn’t going to be so dour and serious.  Throw in some freaking levity, will ya!?  Hell, I’ll take an episode where they have to start a band to save the world for some reason!!

.

If you like this recap and plan on buying the show, then use the Amazon link below!  I’ll get a percentage of the order it helps keep things going for me here at The Reviewers Unite!  In fact, you don’t even need to buy the item listed!  Just use the link, shop normally, and when you check out it will still give us that sweet, sweet, percentage!  You can even bookmark the link and use it every time you shop!  HOW AWESOME IS THAT!?
Sailor Moon “Crystal” Set 1 Standard (BD/DVD combo pack) [Blu-ray]

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3 thoughts on “Super Recaps: Sailor Moon Crystal (Episode 14)

  1. lololelelolo

    You will find out more about Queen Metallia almost at the end of the series (yep, at the end of ‘season’ 5 you get some explanation about ‘season’ 1 evil cloud thing).
    It’s ok for you to think that Mamoru was just a guy without powers, because we all learn that in act 14 of the manga. I think Usagi and Mamoru learn that too the instant he touches Earth (and again, this will be explained better at the end of ‘season’ 4).

    Just for your information, it’s ok to be this kind of confused about powers and stuff, everything gets explained in future acts, but they are quite distant now (to say something, this episode was the end of ‘season’ 1 and the begining of ‘season’ 2 with the appearance of the pink haired girl).

    The main difference between Sailor Moon Crystal and its manga (that 5%) is that the Four Heavenly Kings do not survive that much, and they don’t get killed by Metallia all at the same time. They are killed by the Sailor Senshi in different acts (Jadeite dies at act 3, Nephrite at act 5, Zoicite dies at act 7 and Kunzite… mmmm… I think he dies in act 10) and of course, they were never in love in the previous life.

    I think you are free to peek at some manga scans from the Internet now that the Dark Kingdom arc is gone (what I call ‘season 1’) and see the minor differences, it won’t spoil anything.

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  2. lololelelolo

    By the way, I love reading your reviews because you have no clue about this story.
    Reading you I can see how does someone new to this franchise experiments Sailor Moon and it’s quite interesting.
    I can only encourage you to keep watching Crystal, it will get to you at some point, because this overall story is magnificent (it has its things, as you could see by yourself, but you will get it in time)

    Like

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