Cinema Dispatch: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures

Directed by Aaron Horvath & Michael Jelenic

I can’t say that I was a fan of the first movie, but I did appreciate what it accomplished for the audience it was aiming for. A sequel was inevitable given its billion dollar box office, but it did manage to catch my interest with its promise of a space-faring adventure with Rosalina from the Galaxy series of games. Still, this is Illumination we’re talking about, whose work can be charitably described as passable, and trying to encompass the cosmic side of the Mario universe is no small feat even for a studio with some artistic panache; let alone one whose greatest contribution was ripping off the Rabbids. Can the Mario brothers drag a great movie out of this middle-of-the-road studio, or will this be yet another average outing for the venerable Nintendo franchise? Let’s find out!!

The Mushroom Kingdom has stayed relatively peaceful since the Mario Brothers (Chris Pratt and Charlie Day) toppled the big bad King Bowser (Jack Black); leaving Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) to rule unabated with an iron fist and an army of toads! The duo even has a new sidekick named Yoshi (Donald Glover) who is as friendly as he is adorable, but while things may be looking up for this little corner of the universe, terrible things are brewing in the furthest reaches of space. The Princess of the Cosmos Rosalina (Brie Larson) is kidnapped by Bowser Jr (Benny Safdie) and one of her children, a Luma much like the one we saw in the first film, manages to escape and get a message to Princess Peach. With such a powerful princess in trouble, she wastes no time in heading off to the stars, leaving our plumbers and a somewhat reformed, and also tiny, Bowser to follow far behind while dodging the nefarious machinations of Bowser’s son. What is Bowser Jr planning to do with Rosalina’s power, and does his father have a role to play in either stopping or supporting his son? Will the Mario Brothers catch up to Peach in time to help her save the day, and does she have a greater role to play in all this than even she realizes? What does it mean that the universe is full of interconnected worlds that we can easily reach from star portals!? Just imagine the implications!  And the possibilities for cameos and references!

“What did I tell you, Mario? The pyramids were built by alien mushroom people! Just like I said!”     “Will you shut up? I’m not watching Ancient Aliens with you!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Keanu

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Keanu and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by Peter Atencio

The day has finally come for these two titans of TV comedy to make the leap to the silver screen!  That’s ALWAYS a great idea, right?  Okay, so sometimes the transition from small screen to big screen can be a bit awkward, but the trailers for this movie have inspired a lot of hope in me and many others that this will turn out to be the exception rather than the rule for sketch comedians turned movie stars!  Can the duo pull it off, or is it back to Comedy Central to beg for another season of their show?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follows the misadventures of Rell (Jordan Peele) and Clarence (Keegan-Michael Key); cousins and best friends who must retrieve Rell’s cat Keanu from the clutches of villainy!  You see, Rell had just had a pretty bad break up and was spiraling into depression without much hope for a brighter future.  That is until a small kitten that’s as cute as a button wanders up to his doorstep; bringing with him a glimmer of light and new chapter in Rell’s life.  But where exactly did this cat come from?  Well, what Rell doesn’t know is that this cat belonged to a local drug dealer who’s entire gang was killed right before he himself was murdered; all done by two tough as nails, long haired, mute mother fuckers who did this… for some reason, and are now hell bent on finding that cat… for some reason.  Not only that, but while Rell and Clarence are out seeing a movie, Rell’s place gets broken into and Keanu is kidnapped by the Seventeenth Street Blips (a crew too badass for the Bloods or the Crips)… for some reason.  Honestly, don’t question why people want Keanu; just assume he’s too cute to NOT steal.  Anyway, Rell and Clarence now must go undercover as tough guys and gang bangers (two things they are quite far from being) if they have any hopes of infiltrating the Blips and getting the cat back.  Will they be able to fool the members of this crew and pretend to be hard long enough to get their cat back?  What about the two crazy-ass murderers looking for the cat?  How are they gonna fit into all this?  Wait, so this ISN’T a parody of John Wick!?

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“WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS!?”     “YOU DID IT!  WHATEVER IT IS, I T WAS YOU!!”

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