Samson and all the images you see in this review are owned by Pure Flix Entertainment
Directed by Bruce Macdonald
The surest sign of God’s existence is that I managed to go through all of 2017 without seeing a Pure Flix film, though the favor I managed to accrue with the man upstairs seems to have run out as I’m stuck here on the precipice of not just one, but TWO Pure Flix films; starting with the epic retelling of one of the Old Testament’s biggest figures. Hey, at least it’s not taking place in modern day and pretending that Christianity is the most oppressed religion in America. That’s gonna wait for the NEXT movie they come out with this year; God’s Not Dead 3 (THE RE-DEAD-EN-ING). Still, this is Pure Flix we’re talking about and their track record is utterly abysmal even with their less outwardly bigoted films being mediocre at best. Do they have a chance of capturing the magic that makes the story of Samson worth telling in the first place? Yeah… probably not, but let’s find out!!
The movie follows the story of Samson (Taylor James) who… I guess is a super hero? Actually, he’s more like Achilles in that his parents (Rutger Hauer and Lindsay Wagner) did SOMETHING to him as a child that got him God’s favor and made him the strongest man alive, though in order to keep his gifts he has to follow three rules; no drinking, no touching dead bodies, and no cutting his hair. Seems a bit arbitrary, especially since none of these were important enough rules to put on those tablets Moses had, but it DOES work as Samson periodically kicks ass for The Lord and will hopefully someday drive the Philistines out of Israel. Of course, with Samson being a young man with a rocking bod, he often gets distracted along the way and must deal with foxy ladies including Taren (Frances Sholto-Douglas) and Delilah (Caitlin Leahy), a pissed off prince with STRONG urge to stab his dad (Jackson Rathbone), and of course the current king of the Philistines (Billy Zane) who’s keeping a careful eye on this Jewish Savior. Will Samson avoid the temptations of the world and be the champion that Israelites need? Who is this Delilah woman, and what does she plan to do to Samson once she has him under his spell? Is it just me, or does this sound more like the backstory to action figure more than anything else?