Tag Archives: comics

Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW) – #18

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Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America

We’re back with another issue of The Spin Dashing Dead, and unlike Robert Kirkman’s book I’m PRETTY sure this issue won’t turn out to be the final one.  Amazing as it would be for everyone to turn into robot zombies and the story to just end, we still have SOME hope for a triumphant conclusion to all this despite the tragic loss of Charmington L Beesworth (also known as Charmy) last issue and Sonic’s progressively worsening sickness.  Seriously, is Sonic trying to fill the gap that Game of Thrones has left?  I’m not saying we’re there YET (we’d need a few more decapitations), but we’re certainly closer to it than at any other point in the franchise’s history!  Anyway, before I go into any more random tangents about series that have come to a close (I could make an Archie reference here but I shall resist the temptation), let’s focus on the issue at hand and the continued efforts of THE RESTORATION to contain the ROBO-VIRUS!  Can Sonic and crew rescue those caught in the midst of Eggman’s latest attack, including Cream the Rabbit!?  Let’s find out!!

Right off the bat, I want to point out that they gave us an ACTUAL map of the world we’ve seen so far as well as a running tally of who’s missing or zombified which actually helps a lot in making the world feel a lot more cohesive rather than a series of random cities plopped into the story whenever convenient.  I mean… that’s still KIND of what’s been going on, but at least they’re keeping track!

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Jumping the Soapbox: A Banana Splitting Headache and Hanna-Barbera’s Confusing Existence

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The Banana Splits is owned by Warner Bros

All other copyrights are the property of their respective owners.

Do any of you even know who The Banana Splits are?  Of course not!  They were on the lower tier of Hanna-Barbera creations and because they were live action characters they never got that extra bump of popularity that many of their other creations did when they started randomly pairing them up on shows like Yogi’s Gang where they flew around in a giant flying ark.  Yeah, Hanna-Barbera is weird like that, but the thing about The Banana Splits is… I actually really like them!  I remember watching a marathon of episode back when you had to actually watch TV on a TV, and I thought it was a fun little slice of sixties nonsense!  A bunch of dudes in animal costumes playing bubblegum pop and doing slapstick?  What’s not to like!?  And guess what?  THEY’RE MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT THEM!!  OH BOY!  It looks like someone has finally realized how groovy these cats (and dogs and monkeys and elephants) are and are giving them the big screen treatment they deserve, right?  RIGHT!?

Sigh…

So it turns out that SOMEONE thought it would be brilliant and edgy to take lovable characters aimed at children… and turn them into monsters in a horror movie; straight up.  I mean yeah, they’re clearly playing up the absurdity of it but it just looks like a miserable experience outside of how senseless its UNIQUE SELLING POINT is.  Actually, even more blatant than the simple “shock” value of taking character aimed at kids and making them creepy (congratulations; you’re where Creepy Pasta was twenty years ago) is that they are only doing this to beat the Five Nights at Freddy movie to the punch.  I mean they weren’t robots in the original series either within the fiction of the show (they were anthropomorphic animals in a band) or the reality of its production which was done by people in costumes which is CLEARLY the case here as well.

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“WHAT IS MY PRIMARY DIRECTIVE!?”     “Okay, try to be like this video game, but NOT like this video game at the same time.”     “DOES NOT COMPUTE!!”

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Cinema Dispatch: Dark Phoenix

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Dark Phoenix and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Fox and Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Simon Kinberg

I’ve probably been nicer than most about the X-Men franchise, going so far as to be somewhat positive about Apocalypse, and even I can’t be bothered to muster any enthusiasm for The Last Stand: Remastered.  I mean I GUESS I can see why Fox would want to prove that it was the other guy’s fault and not their own, and it certainly worked well enough for Dexter Fletcher, but with this franchise being so easily overshadowed by Deadpool, the MCU, and even some of the better DC films, it’s starting to feel more Quixotic than artistically advisable.  Still, I have been surprised by  movies I didn’t expect much out of before, and it’s not like they have much to lose considering this franchise is more or less done whether they make this movie or not, so hey!  Let’s see if Fox can pull it off one more time for old time’s sake!

It’s the radical nineties for the X-Men with Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and his crew of charismatic comrades more popular than ever; much like the ACTUAL nineties.  Newcomers Jean Grey, Scott Summers, Ororo Munroe, and Kurt Wagner (Sophie Turner, Tye Sheridan, Alexandra Shipp, and Kodi Smit-McPhee) are fitting in well enough, Mystique’s (Jennifer Lawrence) barely contained annoyance with all of this is about as same as usual which is greatly contrasted with Beast (Nicholas Hoult) who looks like he couldn’t be happier to be there, and Quicksilver (Even Peters) is… around.  ANYWAY!  The big difference in this film that I alluded to just now which I don’t BELIEVE was the case last time is that The X-Men have become household names and everyone wants to be them!  No more mutant discrimination, at least not outright, and all the jerk mutants went with Magneto (Michael Fassbender) to some island somewhere to keep things nice and peaceful.  Why, the only thing that could ruin this perfect existence is if one of the high profile mutants on Xavier’s team went off and started blowing stuff up, but what are the odds of THAT happening!?  Yeah, so Jean Grey gets hit by some sort of cosmic ray in the beginning of the film during an astronaut rescue, and it seems to have overcharged her system to the point that she can barely control her powers as well as her emotions; the latter of which is exacerbated by some dark secrets she’s made keenly aware of and have made things rather awkward at the academy.  With one big public relations nightmare that could lead to Mutant internment AGAIN, Xavier and his crew have to find out what’s happening to Jean and if there’s any way to save her from whatever it is that will either destroy her from the inside or give her enough power to destroy us all from the outside.  Oh, and Jessica Chastain is in this somewhere in the background.  I’m sure she can’t be up to any good though!  Will Jean Grey succumb to the power she’s been granted and become the worst enemy the X-Men have ever faced?  Will Xavier finally learn that despite his idealistic rhetoric that he’s made huge mistakes in the past that could bring the world closer to destruction than anything his more militant counterpart ever came up with?  If this is worse than X3, does Fox get like a Lifetime Achievement award for how badly they can ruin a franchise?  I mean they should have already gotten one for their Fantastic Four movies, but you know the Academy!  Give it to them when convenient; not when they deserve it!

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“Here’s to the end of an era!”     “Here’s to the end of my liver functioning properly…”

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Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW) – #17

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Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America

We’re back with another issue of Knuckles-less Chaotix!  Are we ever gonna get an explanation for that by the way?  Or the disappearance of Mighty the Armadillo?  Ah, it’s probably not important!  What IS important is that Eggman is finally putting his latest plan into motion with terrifying results; not just because of how effortlessly it transmits itself from host to host but, but also how much damage its surely causing to the fragile infrastructure that’s been built up since the last time Sonic stopped Eggman’s nefarious schemes.  Even if they do find a cure, will there be anything left of the old world to salvage?  What will The Chaotix do if the market for Private Investigators dries up!?  Charmy’s barely old enough for THIS job; let alone work in a factory or be trusted around a stove!  Well before we start speculating on the POST-apocalypse, we might as well see how it plays out live and jump right into the issue proper!!

The issue begins with everyone’s favorite third rate detective agency (a step above Aqua Teen Hunger Force but a step below Schmidt and Jenko in 21 Jump Street) getting an update from Amy about the Robo-virus, and then proceeding to do absolutely nothing about it!  I mean I guess I can kind of see the logic behind it as there’s no indication the disease has spread to their city yet, and they aren’t exactly the A-Team in the Sonic Universe.  They’re The Defenders to everyone Else’s Avengers.  You call them to rough up a mugger or fight a biker gang; not to single handedly reverse a Romero Apocalypse.  Sadly their ingenious decision to do nothing has one fatal flaw which is that the zom-pocalypse already reached Seaside City and the zombots are breaking down the Chaotix’s door which is bad news for everyone.  Now I want to be VERY clear about what happens next.  None of the Chaotix have seen a zombot up to this point or seem to know what they are capable of.  The door bursts open and a couple zombots come waltzing in.  Espio then proceeds to take a KUNAI, which if you didn’t know are very sharp, and throws it RIGHT AT THEIR HEAD!  The kunai bounces harmless off their metallic cranium, and Espio is shocked that it didn’t work.  In case there was any doubt as to what was supposed to happen, Espio threw a bladed weapon with the intent of burying it right between the eyes of an anthropomorphic animal; killing them instantly by hemorrhaging a vital organ like he’s in a John Wick movie.  Yes.  That just happened.

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“My lust for murder has yet to be satiated…”     “Well then learn to throw better, you wuss!!”

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Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW) – #16

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Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America

We’re back already with even more Sonic the Hedgehog!  Apparently we just can’t get enough of the little blue bugger, what with his trailer dropping, the Annual last week, and now this issue that gets us back on track with the ongoing story of Eggman trying to take over the world!  All we need now is for SEGA to announce both a good Sonic game and a bad Sonic game for the ritual to be complete and usher in the apocalypse!  It’s in revelations I think.  That beast they talk about?  Actually a hedgehog!  ANYWAY! With the last issue ending on quite the interesting cliffhanger, can this issue capitalize on it and deliver a satisfying narrative for the good guys, or will this storyline falter; leaving the bad guys to continue being the highlight of the series?  Let’s find out!!

So remember at the end of the last issue where Sonic got infected with the Robo-virus and it was only a matter of time before he turned into a cybernetic killing machine?  Yeah, it’s all fine now!  Nothing to see here, just move along!

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“Despite all my rage, I’m still just a hedgehog in a cage!”     “He’s been saying that for three hours, and yet I don’t think it has anything to do with the virus.”

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Super Comics: Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW) – Annual 2019 & Tangle and Whisper #0

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Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America

We’re back with even MORE Sonic the Hedgehog, because I guess it wasn’t enough to get that terrible trailer; they had to release not one but TWO issues of the comic two days later!  Not only that but the one we’ll be looking at today is an Annual which is a series of short stories that is twice as long as a standard issue, and if that wasn’t enough there’s ANOTHER issue coming out next week!  That’s about four issues worth of comics in only two weeks which is great for most people out there, but now I’ve quadrupled my workload all at once!  If you have any tiny violins in your immediate vicinity I would recommend playing a sad song for me and my misfortunes.  ANYWAY!  Does the first Annual of the IDW series manage to knock it out of the park, or does the short story format (reminiscent of the early Sonic Archie comics) end up hampering their ability to tell decent stories?  Let’s find out!!

Our first story begins with what I can only assume is a preview of the Tangle/Whisper miniseries as the latter visits the former in her home town.  I can only ASSUME this is the same village as the one from issue 4, but they don’t bother to clarify this in the story itself, and I guess I COULD take this time to once again say how nice it’d be if they would establish some key locations to make the world feel real and to give some degree of stakes to Eggman’s rampant destruction, but I’m pretty sure I’ve already beaten that dead horse a few times already.  That, and they do a good job fleshing out the interplay between Tangle and Whisper so I guess I can’t complain too much when they’re at least giving me that.

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“If I open both of my eyes all of existence will cease to be, and you just inadvertently opened one of them.”     “Are you… are you serious?”     “No, I just don’t want you to hug me.”

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Cinema Dispatch: Avengers: Endgame

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Avengers: Endgame and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Anthony Russo and Joe Russo

My displeasure of Infinity War is well documented in both my review and the follow up piece I did, so I was frankly not looking forward to this one.  Still, the two films they’ve done since then, Ant-Man and The Wasp as well as Captain Marvel, were really great entries in the genre and confirmed that Marvel could still make a great film if they wanted to, and if nothing else it’ll be worth ripping off this Band-Aid once and for all and letting things get back on track before Thanos butting his ugly purple head in.  So hey, if I HAVE to be here I might as well try and find something to enjoy about it!  Is this the perfect conclusion to not just Infinity War but to the Marvel Cinematic Universe as it currently exists, or does the first iteration of this franchise and these characters continue the utter disappointment from the LAST time we saw them?  Let’s find out!!

After the events of Infinity War which (SPOILER ALERT) ended with Thanos (Josh Brolin snapping his fingers and wiping out half of all living creatures in the universe, the remaining Avengers are stuck in a world on the brink of collapsing and with no real way to fix things. I  mean, they could go after Thanos and kick his head around a bit, especially now that Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) is here to provide some cosmic backup, but would that even fix anything at this point?  The real question is whether or not those people can be brought back, Thanos or not, and after some time with no ideas they get a visit from one of the lesser known among them Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) who might just have the answer they’re looking for what with his experiences in the Quantum Realm and all that entails.  The remaining Avengers which include Captain America (Chris Evans), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), uh… whatever name Rhodes is going under now (Don Cheadle), as well as honorary members Rocket (Bradly Cooper and Sean Gunn) and Nebula (Karen Gillan), and a barely held together Hawkeye (Jeremey Renner), now have a mission in place (and a rather odd one at that) to bring things back to the way they were before, but it’s incredibly risky and could actually make things worse if they DON’T succeed.  At even less than half their usual strength since everyone is still dealing with the trauma of what happened can The Avengers manage to pull off one more spectacular feat of heroism against the one foe they couldn’t overcome?  What dangers will they have to face along the way, and are all of them able to confront them with steadfast determination and the will necessary to succeed?  If this IS gonna be the last one of THIS specific kind of Marvel movie… maybe we could get a Star Wars crossover?  I mean it’s now or never, right?

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I’ll also settle for a movie where Captain America beats up those THE LAST JEDI IS SJW PROPAGANDA jerks.

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