1917 and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures
Directed by Sam Mendes
Is it a 2019 movie or a 2020 movie? I mean I guess it’s the former as I doubt Universal wants to wait until NEXT February for it to win a bunch of Oscars, but while some critics may have gotten to see it back in December I only have the chance to see it now right alongside other sterling January releases like The Grudge and the upcoming Dolittle. Well now that they finally let the general public see this, does it live up to the hype it’s been building up over the last few weeks, or is there a reason they held it off until the dumping ground month despite the pedigree behind it? Let’s find out!!
Will Schofield and Tom Blake (George MacKay and Dean-Charles Chapman) are just two dudes in the British Army milling around France during World War I with the rest of their unit as they try to wait out the German army who are on the other side of No Man’s Land on whatever battlefield they’re on. That’s all about to change however as the general Colin Firth has given them a critical mission to deliver new battlefield orders to a company several miles away that as it turns out has Blake’s brother serving in it. It seems that recent changes in the German Army’s movements have given the impression that the company can secure victory with one final push that they’ve scheduled for the morning, but new information has confirmed this to be a trap that will no doubt lead to most if not all of the sixteen hundred men in that company to their untimely deaths. If these two can get this information to the commanding officer in time, the attack will be stooped and all those men will be saved (or at least die a much more timely death), but it is not an easy undertaking as German soldiers are still scattered across the region; not to mention the environmental hazards like traps, rain, mud, and both sunlight AND darkness coming with their own troubles as well. Can they makes it in time so that these soldiers can live to fight another day? What hardships will they encounter on this journey, and are both of them ultimately up to the task? Did Sam Mendes actually make a 007 prequel without telling us!? I mean they’re making a Kingsman prequel, so why not?
Considering how much this dude runs, maybe it’s a Mission Impossible prequel.
Alice Through the Looking Glass and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Directed by James Bobin
A sequel to a movie six years after everyone stopped caring about it! THAT’S never gone wrong, am I right? To be fair to Disney, the original film did make an astonishing amount of money (one BILLION worldwide) but this feels way too late to capitalize on whatever moment that first movie had. Not only that, but it was also one of the early 3D films which I’m sure boosted the ticket sales, yet now we’re at a point where people are just sick of the gimmick, so it doesn’t even have THAT going for it. Still, the first movie did manage to be pretty decent and the trailers for this looked very creative to say the least. Can this manage to be a damn fine sequel that just needed a little extra time to fully come together, or is this a naked cash grab for everyone involved? Let’s find out!!
The movie picks up three years after the first movie where Alice (Mia Wasikowska) has spent the intervening time traveling the world as a sea captain for Ascot family’s trading company (I think). She returns to England at the start of the movie to see her mother (Lindsay Duncan) and plan the next trip with the company. Unfortunately, the Ascot patriarch has died since she last returned and the one in charge of the company is his son Hamish (Leo Bill) who you may recall was set to be Alice’s husband in the first movie which didn’t end up panning out. Now that this new guy is in charge (and he has a wounded ego) Alice is not only no longer employed as a sea captain, but for some reason is given an ultimatum to either sell her father’s boat or risk losing her mother’s house. It gets worse when you find out that the mother has been working behind her back to make sure she gets fired so that she would have no choice but to “settle down” as all proper ladies do. Well I’d say THAT’S enough stuff to stress over to make a trip to Wonderland seem like a wondrous vacation, right? She gets led to the titular looking glass by the butterfly Absolem (Alan Rickman) and eventually finds the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) on the other side who is slowly dying and not quite so delightfully mad. Apparently he found a modicum of proof that his family is still alive but no one else believes him so he’s going to slowly die of depression… I guess. Alice has no choice but to go back in time to save the Hatter’s family from the Jaberwacki and has to face off against Time himself (Sacha Baron Cohen) to get that ability. Will she be able to save the Hatter from his battle with depression? What will she learn as she travels back to the glory days of Wonderland, and what must she risk in order to get the opportunity to do so? Does anyone else notice that its’ a lot brighter this time around?
“Did you bring the sunscreen?” “The hell do you need sunscreen for? YOU HAVE A HAT!!”
Victor Frankenstein and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Fox
Directed by Paul McGuigan
Does anyone even remember when the last good Frankenstein movie was? Can Reanimator REALLY be the last one of these movies to get the formula right!? Well at least this movie isn’t trying so hard to make a faithful adaptation of the Mary Shelly story like Kenneth Branagh did, but is instead going after Young Frankenstein’s crown by practically making a spoof out of the whole thing. Geez, if making a good Frankenstein movie was a herculean task, then making a good Young Frankenstein movie must be a Sisyphean one. Still, the trailers really sold this as a fun throwback to old school horror schlock and it has two really talented actors who aren’t afraid to ham it up when appropriate. Will this be a fun re-imaging of one of cinema’s oldest stories, or is this yet another terrible interpretation of this story right up there with the abysmal I, Frankenstein? Let’s find out!!
The movie follows Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy) and Igor (Daniel Radcliffe), both working together to solve the mysteries of life and to hopefully reanimate a corpse for reasons of SCIENCE. After breaking Igor out of the circus and fixing his back, they become close friends and Igor’s intelligence about humanity anatomy and medicine (self-taught which makes it more impressive) becomes instrumental to Victor finally having a breakthrough with his research. Unfortunately, as Victor starts to escalate his experiments, an inspector at Scotland Yard (Andrew Scott) becomes more and more obsessed with stopping the mad man’s machinations before his schemes can come to fruition. Can Igor and Victor complete they’re greatest work before being shut down by The Man, or has Victor taken things too far? Will Igor continue to justify the mad doctor’s methods, or will he betray his best friend in hopes that he can be talked down from the brink of insanity? These two are REALLY close, aren’t they?
Spectre and all the images you see in this review are owned by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures and Columbia Pictures
Directed by Sam Mendes
Has it really been three years since Skyfall!? That movie was absolutely fantastic, wasn’t it? Well now the same crew (minus Roger Deakins) is back to give us the next entry in the James Bond franchise! Will they be able to make another fantastic entry in the long running franchise, or will this fail to live up to the massive expectations that Skyfall left us with? Let’s find out!!
As expected, the movie is about the lovable spy James Bond (Daniel Craig) and his latest efforts to find the mysterious organization that’s been hunting him and causing chaos from behind the shadows! I though they already figured out it was Quantum, but whatever. After a VERY explosive mission in Mexico, he’s one step closer to finding this evil organization but problems arise when it turns out he went out on his own without MI6 approval. This is particularly troubling for the organization (and M played by Ralph Fiennes) due to the government still wanting to shut them down which you may recall being a subplot in the previous film. In its place, the government wants to establish a worldwide surveillance program that’s being headed up by Max Denbigh (Andrew Scott) who seems just a bit too eager to get Bond out the way. Bond once again goes out on his own (has he listened to anyone since maybe Casino Royale?) to follow up on his leads to find whoever it is that’s pulling the strings behind recent events and is probably controlling Quantum, though that’s still a bit unclear. Will Bond discover what this organization is that they spoil in the title? Will he find the mastermind behind this (Christoph Waltz) who we’ve been told is NOT Blowfeld but who the hell else would be the head of Spectre? Will James Bond finally get to the bottom of something without having to kill every lead he has!? It’s probably gonna be a no on that last one.
Oh look! Another James Bond film is coming out! Who could have seen that coming!? The new film, simply called Spectre, is the twenty-fourth film in the long running series and the fourth film to star Daniel Craig in the title role. His track record has actually been pretty good so far with Casino Royale and Skyfall being great films in their own right (no one remembers Quantum of Solace so just shut up about it), but with them finally tackling the infamous organization in earnest (bringing in more of the old school features of the franchise), are they finally going to end up biting off more than they can chew? Well we won’t know until November, but for now let’s look at the trailer!!
The trailer begins with James Bond getting lectured by the new M (if you want to know what happened to the old M, watch Skyfall) for going off on his own to Mexico for some reason. Not sure what he was doing there, but it involved blowing up a building.
“DAMN IT JAMES!! YOU BLEW UP TWENTY CARS AND THREE STADIUMS!!” “Sorry Chief.” “SORRY NOTHING!! THE COMMISSIONER’S GONNA HAVE MY ASS!!”