We’re about to witness one of the biggest comeback stories in animation history, one that’s been over 12 years in the making…
But first, a little history:
Month: March 2017
Cinema Dispatch: Before I Fall
Before I Fall and all the images you see in this review are owned by Open Road Films
Directed by Ry Russo-Young
Oh look! It’s that movie that looks like that one movie that came out two decades ago! Okay, so maybe it’s not a TOTALLY original concept, but it at least looks more interesting than other YA novel adaptations like Divergent or The 5th Wave, and it does so without having to be set in the apocalypse! The trailers seem to be leaning into the central conceit of the movie, and while it still has that YA aesthetics that look more drab and cheap than anything else, there seems like there’s some more effort thrown into this one than you’d typically expect. Does this manage to rise above its peers and be one of the better examples of the genre, or are they just getting better at marketing these kinds of films to the general public? Let’s find out!!
The movie begins with Samantha Kingston (Zoey Deutch) waking up on CUPID DAY which is NOT Valentine’s Day because these super hip and cool teenagers say so… even though it’s celebrated exactly the same way; down to the roses being handed out which I’m sure by any other name would still make this Valentine’s Day. Anyway, she’s going through her day like it was any other; hanging out with her friends Lindsay, Ally, and Elody (Halston Sage, Cynthy Wu, and Medalion Rahimi), dodging the creepy kid who’s been pining after her for years (Logan Miller) and making out with her boyfriend (Kian Lawley) who’s honestly not much of a prize considering the dude wears his baseball cap backwards AT ALL TIMES. Still, thing seem to be going fine in their lives and the four of them go to a party that night at the creepy kids place in celebration of Love Day or whatever the hell this is. Hey, say what you will about his social skills; the dude has an awesome house! The party however turns out to be less awesome because the creepy girl at school Juliet (Elena Kampouris) starts some beef with Samantha’s friend and is swiftly run out of the party by everyone there. Feeling deflated, the four of them leave the party and WHAM! They get in a car crash which… I THINK kills them? Either way, Samantha wakes up the next day… EXCEPT IT’S NOT THE NEXT DAY! She’s stuck in a time loop where she wakes up on the same morning each day and has no idea what it would take to break out of it; if that’s even an option. Can Samantha find a way to escape the purgatory that she’s found herself in? What can she learn by having to repeat the same day over and over again, and is this a wake-up call for her to become a better person? I feel like I’ve seen this in a movie before. Have they done this in a movie before?
Super Recaps: Riverdale Chapter 6 (Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!)
Riverdale and all the images you see in this recap are owned Warner Bros Television Distribution and The CW
Episode directed by Steven A. Adelson
We’re back with another episode of CSI: Riverdale! When we last left our intrepid sleuths Betty and Jughead, they were getting one step closer to solving the mystery of Jason’s death, but now the evidence is point to Betty’s parents which makes things a lot more difficult to say the least! Oh, and Archie was doing stuff too I guess, but JUGHEAD AND BETTY! They’re next plan is to find out where Polly was sent and see if she has any clues that can lead them to the killer! Will the dynamic duo manage to save Polly and find the truth that has been eluding them for so long? What will Betty’s parents do once they find out what she’s been up to with that Jughead boy!? And uh… is Archie gonna do something of mild interest? Let’s find out!!
The episode begins with Betty and Jughead who are about to initiate their master plan to find out where Polly’s been locked up. Step one, have breakfast with Betty’s mom! Okay, that doesn’t SOUND too hard, but this is Lemon Mom we’re dealing with who has just gotten back from her Women in Journalism retreat and is ready to tear everyone at the kitchen table a new asshole for the indecency and bad taste of merely existing in her presence.
Continue reading “Super Recaps: Riverdale Chapter 6 (Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!)”
Cinema Dispatch: The Shack
The Shack and all the images you see in this review are owned by Summit Entertainment
Directed by Stuart Hazeldine
Geez, first we had Jennifer Gardner do one of these last year, and now ACADEMY AWARD WINNER OCTAVIA SPENCER? And the thing is, I had no idea what this was about until I walked into the movie! I thought it was Nick Sparks fluff piece or something like that, but no! Alright, so I didn’t have the best attitude once they movie let me know what it was about within the first five minutes, but it’s not like there aren’t ANY religious films I like! Certainly Noah counts, right? Anyway, does The Shack manage to rise above its contemporaries and be a thoughtful examination on religion and spirituality’s role in working through grief, or is it just like every other mediocre or downright offensive Christian film we’ve gotten since Pure Flix managed to make a few bucks at the box office? Let’s find out!!
The movie begins with the wholesome Phillips family led by the father Mack (Sam Worthington) who one day decides to take the kids on a camping trip which couldn’t POSSIBLY go awry! Oh wait. The youngest of the group Missy (Amelie Eve) goes missing and presumed dead. I THINK the body is found in the titular shack in the mountains, but the movie is a bit coy on that detail; presumably so they can avoid showing a dead body in this wholesome family film. Anyway, the tragedy shatters the whole family including their son Josh (Gage Munroe) and their other daughter Kate (Megan Charpentier), but Mack is taking the brunt of the guilt; leaving the mother Nan (Radha Mitchell) to pick up the slack while he’s moping around the house. One day however, he gets a mysterious letter telling him to meet God in the shack where Missy’s body was found which sounds suspiciously like the opening to Silent Hill 2, but unfortunately we’re not in for that kind of movie. Instead, he steals his best friend’s truck (played by Tim McGraw) and drives up there thinking that he’ll find the killer waiting for him. No such luck so Mack has a near suicidal fit of rage and fury but is saved from blowing his brains out by some dude who JUST SO HAPPENED to be walking by at just that moment. Not only that, but the dude seems to know Mack and invites him to join his family in another nearby cabin. What’s odd though is that the weather instantly changes from the dead of winter to a bright spring day, and on top of that, the dude’s father is played by Octavia Spencer. So why would this guy played by Aviv Alush call this woman The Father? And who is this mysterious third person there played by Sumire Matsubara? Wait a minute… meet God in the cabin… there are three of them… oh. Okay, so we’ve got The Father (Spencer), The Son (Alush), and the Holy Spirit (Matsubara) basically pulling a Christmas Carol on this dude to get him over the death of his daughter by… sort of answering his very obvious and leading questions about the nature of God in a world that isn’t perfect. Uh huh. So then… does Mack manage to find a reason to live after spending a few days with these three charming fellows? What insights do they have that can apply to YOUR lives as well as his? Is there a book you can buy to go along with the movie that will shed ADDITIONAL insights and unlock the secret to true happiness!?
Cinema Dispatch: Logan
Logan and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Fox
Directed by James Mangold
Dude has been playing this character since the turn of the millennium. It’s no wonder he looks so damn tired in this! For many people, the first X-Men (as well as Blade in 1998) can be pointed to as the start of the modern superhero genre as a mainstream endeavor instead of the one off success stories like Batman and Superman. Sure, Superheroes have ALWAYS been a part of the film industry (There only maybe a dozen or so fewer superhero movies made in the nineties as in the decade that followed) but with X-Men it proved that more modern and varied superheroes had a shot at connecting with a wider audience; especially with powerhouse actors like Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, and Hugh Jackman on hand to sell it to them. I mean say what you will for the X-Men film franchise in general, it’s managed to have a decent amount of staying power with a solid decade lead on the MCU. For all its ups and downs, it’s stayed pretty popular to this day and that’s double true for Jackman’s portrayal of Wolverine. However, all good things inevitably come to an end, and this movie is here to remind us all of that fact as Hugh Jackman swears this is the last time we will see him in this role. So is it a proper send off for the role that started a global phenomenon, or has all semblances of life and effort left his franchise a long time ago like it has to the main character in this movie? Let’s find out!!
The movie begins with Old Man Logan (Hugh Jackman) barely scraping by as a limo driver who ALWAYS seems to run into assholes wherever he goes. Maybe those Adamantium claws of his are magnetized to attract douche bags or maybe it’s because he parks his fancy ass car in gang territory. Either way, he’s living the Max Payne dream of self-loathing, self-medication, and self-assurance that nothing is going to get better no matter what. At the very least, he IS managing to take care of Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) who’s stuck with him after some incident about a year ago that no one is too keen to bring up and to make matters worse he seems to have a degenerative brain disease that is making his powers unstable as well as his memories. With a stable job and the responsibilities of taking care of Charles, somewhat helped by a new friend of theirs named Caliban (Stephen Merchant), he’s at least managing to put off putting an Adamantium bullet in his head from the time being, though I’m pretty sure the OTHER X-Men movie confirmed it WOULDN’T kill him if he did that. However, if everyone else is still okay with pretending that one didn’t exist, then so am I. Of course, things can’t stay that way for long as a little girl named Laura (Dafne Keen) enters the mix and throws all their lives into chaos. See, apparently mutants stopped being born a few decades ago, and most of the ones who are still alive have died off for one reason or another. Laura though is herself a mutant, and not just any mutant to boot. Her powers are almost exactly that of Logan’s and there are a lot of people that want her dead. And so the chase is on with Logan reluctantly dragging both Laura and Xavier (Caliban isn’t so lucky) through the United States to find some sort of refuge in Canada from the evil organization hunting them down and to possibly find some shred of redemption for the life that he led. Can Logan complete this one last mission before finally finding the peace that has eluded him for so long? Where exactly did this girl come from, and how is she a mutant in a world where they are effectively extinct? Seriously, does every Dad FigureTM nowadays have to have those beards!?
Super Recaps: Dragon Ball Super Episode 3 (Where Does the Dream Pick Up? Find the Super Saiyan God!)
Dragon Ball Super and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Toei Animation and licensed by Funimation
We back with another episode of Dragon Ball: The Next Generation. Wait, didn’t they already do that with A Hero’s Legacy? Anyway, the last episode managed to get a lot of point from me for giving us a decent side story with Vegeta and his family, but it started to turn for me once we started focusing again on Beerus and what we KNOW he’s gonna end up doing in just a few episodes. Sure, if you HAVEN’T seen the two movies that came out already then it might be a bit more interesting to watch the guy wreck shit across the galaxy, but I can’t bring myself to care about that half as much as I care about watching Vegeta awkwardly trying to be a decent father. So does this episode give us more character moments that reveal or expand upon what we already know about our heroes, or will this instead focus on keeping the plot train running as it heads towards a conclusion we’re all already aware of? Let’s find out!!
The episode begins with Lord douchebag… I mean Lord Beerus, on his way back to his Space Palace; all the while trying to remember what it was he saw in the dream he had in the last episode. Spoiler Alert: It’s Goku. Also, this marks the point in the series where I start to notice those heavily criticized animation shortcuts this show seems to be famous for, and… yeah. Whenever they go for medium shots of the characters, the detailing takes a HUGE nosedive and it makes the whole production look cheap which PARTICULARLY sucks considering how good the original shows looked. Now this kind of streamlined approach to the detailing can work for LONG shots (you don’t want something small to have too many lines), but at this distance it’s incredibly noticeable.
Super Recaps: Riverdale Chapter 5 (Heart of Darkness)
Riverdale and all the images you see in this recap are owned Warner Bros Television Distribution and The CW
Episode directed by Jesse Warn
We’re back with another episode of Everybody Hates Cheryl! The last episode thankfully finished off that abysmal Grundy subplot which means we can FINALLY get to what this show SHOULD be! Archie solving weird mysteries throughout town! What is that not good enough!? I want this show to become the next American Horror Story, damn it!! AND WHEN DOES SABRINA SHOW UP!? Well for NOW at least, we still have to find Jason Blossom’s killer which… I GUESS is a kind of horror story even if it’s not supernatural… OR IS IT!? Can this show manage to stay afloat now that its worst subplot has been jettisoned from this sinking ship? Let’s find out!!
The episode begins with yet another Jughead monologue as he tells us all about the Blossom home which looks like the unholy lovechild of Roger Corman and Tim Burton that was delivered by Vincent Price in the Westin Hills Insane Asylum from A Nightmare on Elm Street 3. What I’m saying is that it’s gothic as fuck, and I ABSOLUTELY love it! Hell, I can’t even tell if it has electricity, though you’d think it would HAVE to considering how many fog machines they’d need to keep that place constantly engulfed in THAT much foreboding atmosphere!
Continue reading “Super Recaps: Riverdale Chapter 5 (Heart of Darkness)”
The Reviewers Unite 