Cinema Dispatch: Kraven the Hunter

Kraven the Hunter and all the images you see in this review are owned by Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by JC Chandor

The Sony Spider-Verse has been a joke since its inception; arguably even before that, as people were groaning at the end of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 which teased a cavalcade of Spider-Foes for future installments. You could argue that it hasn’t been a disaster for Sony’s bottom line the Venom movies were reliably bankable, but aside from the goofy fun of seeing Tom Hardy arguing with himself, there just wasn’t anything to make this feel like more than a cash-in on a brand they had a tenuous grasp on in the first place. With all of that, it comes as no surprise to find this latest entry going over like a lead balloon, especially with Sony cutting its legs out from under it by announcing the end of its Spider-Verse right before it could hit theaters. Still, is this a case of everyone’s frustration with the Spider-Verse spilling over onto a perfectly alright movie, or is this the perfect capstone to such a cavalcade of cinematic failure? Let’s find out!!

In the heart of Siberia, there lives a man whose day job is hitman extraordinaire and fights for the animals of the world in his free time. He goes by Kraven (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), but his true name is Sergei, and he’s the son of an infamous Russian mobster (Russell Crowe) who is starting to lose his grip on power as new players are making moves on his territory. One such competitor is Aleksei Sytsevich (Alessandro Nivola) who takes the bold step of kidnapping Sergei’s brother Dmitri (Fred Hechinger) in an attempt to draw out the infamous assassin while also staking a claim as the head honcho of the underworld. With the help of Calypso (Ariana DeBose) whose family’s secret recipe for super solider serum turned Sergei into Kraven many years ago, Sergei must race against the clock to do what he does best; hunt those who deserve to be hunted. Can Sergei find his brother before he becomes the latest victim of this never ending crime war? What tricks does Aleksei have up his sleeve to deal with the mighty hunter, who is the only one that could threaten to his operation? See, I always saw Kraven as the guy who just wants to mount Spider-Man’s head to his wall, but I guess we’ve all got a little family drama in our backstory.

“I FIGHT WITH THE POWER OF A HUNDRED TIGERS AND THE RAGE OF A THOUSAND SUBURBAN WHITE BOYS WHO HATE THEIR DAD!!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Hunter Killer

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Hunter Killer and all the images you see in this review are owned by Summit Entertainment

Directed by Donovan Marsh

Ugh… you know what’s worse than being sick for two weeks?  Being sick for two weeks and then getting better JUST IN TIME to see Hunter Killer.  I didn’t get to catch Can You Ever Forgive Me while it was at the nearby theater!  Oh no, I have to drive out of town to see it now if I’m lucky, but the latest Gerard Butler vehicle?  Why that’s just a hop skip and a jump away!  I’m sure I’ll be cursing my recent good heath by the time this is over, but I guess you never know until you see the movie itself, do you!?  I mean sure it LOOKS like a generic submarine thriller starring America’s Fifth Favorite Action Figure, but… I guess it could be a FUN version of that!  Let’s find out!!

As the movie begins we see an American sub is following a Russian sub before getting blown away by a third sub, and so The Pentagon needs to send a second sub of their own to find out what happened.  Not just anyone can pull this mission off however!  Oh no, they need a PROFESSIONAL hard ass with a heart of gold and a bladder of titanium!  They need… JOE GLASS (Gerard Butler)!  Joe takes the USS Arkansas along with a crew of very professional character actors to see if they can find the original US sub, and after a rather intense skirmish with a Russian sub (presumably the one that shot down the first American sub), they manage to find our sub… as well as their sub.  Yes, it seems that the original Russian sub had been sunk somehow and JOE GLASS needs some answers!  While all this is going on, Admieral Donnegan (Gary Oldman), Rear Admiral Fisk (Common), and NSA analyst Norquist (Linda Cardellini) are coordinating an effort to get a squad of US soliders on Russian soil to find out if President Zakarin (Alexander Diachenko) is up to no good!  Said team is led by Lieutenant Beaman (Toby Stephens) along with the rookie Martinelli (Zane Holtz) and two other guys who find that things may not be as simple as we initially thought and that Zarkarin might be in danger himself.  Will JOE GLASS find the answers he’s looking for on that mysteriously sunk submarine?  What can Lieutenant Beaman and his crew do now that they know that something is up and they are the only ones in position to do anything about it?  With so much danger under the sea, will this sub sink faster than Gerard Butler’s career!?

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“THIS!  IS!  THE NAVY!!”

Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: Hunter Killer”