Blockers and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures
Directed by Kay Cannon
Blockers? Seriously? We’re all PRETENDING that’s what the movie is called!? IT’S COCK BLOCKERS! They’re not even being subtle about it considering THEY PUT A ROOSTER ON THE POSTER!! I don’t know why, but the first time I saw the trailer and the subsequent poster for it, this one aspect REALLY annoyed me and I ended up feeling rather down on the trailer overall. What, John Cena’s gonna try to sell us on him being a comedy star by shoving stuff up his butt? Been there, done that! Sure they had Leslie Mann and Ike Barinholtz on hand to steady the ship and keep things on track, but I didn’t really see much to this movie that I hadn’t seen in a hundred other comedies before it. In the last week or so however, the early buzz for this movie started to get REALLY strong and people were praising it all over the place! Is there a chance that I was WRONG about this movie!? BUT THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!! You all come to read this because I’m ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING, right!? Well I guess we’ll have to see if my skills at predicting movies based on trailers are top notch or if Universal was merely doing a bad job of selling a gem they had on their hands. Does this film live up to the hype, or was I right all along!? Let’s find out!!
Kayla, Julie, and Sam (Geraldine Viswanathan, Kathryn Newton, and Gideon Adlon) are the high school seniors who are ready to finally graduate but not before going to their prom which is the biggest day in a young teenager’s life, at least according to this movie. I don’t know about you, but I brought a book to my prom instead of a date, so I guess I have trouble relating to that, but it’s made clear that this is a special night to THEM and they even decided that that will be the night they’ll lose their virginity! One wants to do it then so that it would be a perfect night, another figures it’s as good a time as any to get it over with, and the last one is a closeted lesbian or wants to get in on the bonding experience and at least TRY to see if she’s maybe into the opposite sex before committing to the queer identity. Too bad that their parents get wind of this idea and have decided to… block them from getting laid that night! The parents in question include Kayla’s dad Mitchell (John Cena) as the super serious and incredibly dorky one, Julie’s mother Lisa (Leslie Mann) who’s a single parent and is afraid that her daughter is making a terrible mistake, and Sam’s father Hunter (Ike Barinholtz) who has his own reasons for going along with this that include wanting to reconnect with his daughter since he’s been more or less absent since he divorced her mother. Will they be successful in stopping their daughters from having either the best night or the worst night of their lives? What other issues have they all been hiding from that will be forced to the forefront in this wacky adventure? Can John Cena properly atone for being in the god awful Mel Gibson movie!?
How to Be Single and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures
Directed by Christian Ditter
Oddly enough, the really terrible Valentine’s Day film already came out with The Choice a week ago and this movie seems less interested in that market than it is in going after the Pitch Perfect or Sisters audience (hence the reason why Rebel Wilson is so prominent in the advertisements). While I’m glad that this movie was not selling itself as an overly sentimental low budget Chick FlickTM, what it WAS promising didn’t look all that… well promising. Still, trailers can be misleading and it does have Leslie Mann who’s always fun to watch on screen. Does this turn out to better than expected, or is this just a low brow cash grab trying to ride a trend that’s already been defined by much better movies? Let’s find out!!
The movie is about four women for the most part. We’ve got Alice (Dakota Johnson) who’s just moved to the big city and has taken a job at a law firm where Robin (Rebel Wilson) works and the two of them become fast friends as the latter teaches the former how to loosen up a bit and learn how to be a single lady. We’ve also got Meg (Leslie Mann) who is Alice’s sister and she has decided that she wants to have a kid and find a way to make it work as a single parent with a demanding job as a doctor, while also making sure her younger sister doesn’t get into too much trouble. Off to the side (definitely the least important part here) is Lucy (Alison Brie) who… I guess just wants to meet a guy? I don’t know, there’s this thing about her finding an algorithm to find the perfect man, but that kind of drops off. Her character basically gets subsumed by the local bartender anyway (Anders Holm) and, despite the poster, she has zero interacts with our three other leads. Anyway, Alice’s big crisis is that she decided to put her current relationship with Josh (Nicholas Braun) on hold as she wants to experience single life before deciding whether or not she’s ready to settle down with him yet, but you can probably guess that those plans go pear shaped rather quickly and so she has to adapt to being single as a way of life rather than as an experiment. Will Alice eventually find out how to live her life for her and not define it by the relationships she has with other men? Will Meg be able to handle all the responsibilities of being a single mother? Does Deadpool end up being the better romantic comedy!?
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And they’re like; it’s better than yours. Damn right! It’s better than yours! I can teach you, but I’d have to charge.”