Tag Archives: Joseph Sikora

Cinema Dispatch: The Intruder

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The Intruder and all the images you see in this review are owned by Sony Pictures Releasing and Screen Gems

Directed by Deon Taylor

It either takes a whole lot of brains or a whole lot of nerve to try and squeeze a non-franchise thriller right between such big box office money sinks, and when talking about Screen Gems it can go either way.  Yes, this is the studio that made my beloved Resident Evil movies, but also gave us the horrendous Slender Man, and frankly the rest of their filmography is just disparate; but all the credit to them for churning out low budget shlock and turning it into box office gold!  They’re like the Blumhouse of the mid 2000s that’s still hanging around on the margins making ridiculous stuff like When the Bough Breaks, but also some real modern classics like last year’s Searching which you all better have seen by now!  Where exactly will this movie fall in the Screen Gems canon?  Well you can probably take a guess given its silly premise and wacky stunt casting, but let’s find out!!

Scott and Annie (Michael Ealy and Meagan Good) are your typical city folk who spent their entire married life in the hustle and bustle and have decided that now might be the PERFECT time to find a place a little off the beaten path and settle down to start a family.  Hold your horses though!  They aren’t looking for just ANY house!  They want the PERFECT house that has like a bajillion rooms, a giant yard, and some real history to it!  Well lucky for them that they found the one dude with the perfect house AND a strong need to sell it as soon as possible!  Yes, good ol’ Charlie (Dennis Quaid) is moving to Florida to be with his daughter and has decided to sell his family home.  Four generations have lived in this house, and for a rather steep price Scott and Annie can be the fifth.  After some careful consideration and another look at the size of this place (they’ll have to Airbnb this mansion year round just to keep up with the payments!) they decide to purchase it and give Charlie a fat stack of cash that he can retire on!  Everyone’s happy, right?  Well… as it turns out there are a few loose ends here and there that Charlie needs to finish up and is still in town, but that’s not a problem, right?  Well… he noticed the yard is looking a bit overgrown and thought it’d be neighborly to mow the yard, but that’s a good thing, right?  Well… let’s just say that one thing leads to another, and another, and another, until Scott and Annie begin to wonder if this guy is ever gonna go to Florida, and that’s just the beginning of the weirdness that these two are being subjected to with Charlie still around!  Will Scott and Annie ever get rid of this dude who CLEARLY didn’t seem ready to sell his house?  What exactly does Charlie have planned, and just how far will he go to take back what he believes is rightfully his?  Anyone get the feeling that this is what he did after making Movie 43?  I mean sure he had money BEFORE that film, but that’s a movie so bad that it retroactively sucks away any success you may have had.

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“I’m collecting for the Quaid Quality of Life Fund.  Your contributions will go directly towards funding a sequel to The Rookie.”

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