Cinema Dispatch: Primetime

Primetime and all the images you see in this review are owned by A24

Directed by Lance Oppenheim

Oh boy, is this nostalgic in all the worst ways. Like many Millennials, I too went down the To Catch a Predator rabbit hole and watched the entire series half a dozen times during a semester at college. It’s a pretty ugly chapter in American television that frankly deserves a reexamination given how even more destructive our criminal justice system has gotten in the twenty years since, and I could hardly think of an actor I’d want to don the Chris Hansen stare than Robert Pattinson. This could very well be the best movie of the year, especially now that Millennials are starting to take over for the Boomers and so it’s our childhoods and early twenties that will be the subject matter of prestige films going forward. Is this a devastating yet necessary deconstruction of the Justice Served Humilitainment that To Catch a Predator set the standard for, or will this be a simple pantomime of a show that was better left in the past? Let’s find out!!

In the long ago days of the mid-2000s, there was a little show called To Catch a Predator hosted by journalist Chris Hansen (Robert Pattinson) that sought to stop predators from taking advantage of young children. That’s what it claimed to do anyway, but it’s clear that Hansen, his producer Andie (Merritt Wever), and the crew from Perverted Justice who help him set up these sting operations are not as altruistic as the slick marketing would have you believe; not with so much fame, money, and prestige on the line. The quest to stay on top ultimately requires bigger and bigger spectacle, which means more deranged predators and a new decoy to lure them in. Enter Dan Plum (Skyler Gisondo), a young actor who didn’t seem to read the contract and finds himself in the middle of this parade of human misery, but perhaps with the right mindset and a little convincing from Chris, he can see this as a genuine calling that helps people instead of just another gig to pay the bills. Of course, this resolution will be truly tested when the crew get wind of a big fish out there on the pervert message boards; someone who isn’t just some boring loser but a genuinely connected and influential person who could cement the shows legacy and ensure its ratings domination. Will this be the show to define an era of television in all the ways that the team envisioned, or is this chaotic stab at punitive justice a cautionary tale for all of us? Can Dan put his feelings aside and accept his role as bait for these disturbed men, or will the artifice of it all leave him with scars that may never heal? Hey, maybe we’re just thinking about it too much. I mean what’s wrong with indulging in a little bit of justice every now and again?

“What else would you expect from the greatest country in the world, am I right?” “GO, AMERICA!!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Baywatch

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Baywatch and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Seth Gordon

I may not know much about the Pamela Anderson/David Hasselhoff series, but if there’s one thing I do know it’s how much I LOVE Dwayne Johnson and how much I REALLY LIKE Zac Efron!   Both these guys don’t always get the credit they deserve for just how good they are with the former’s career mostly consisting of crowd pleasing popcorn flicks and the latter having a pretty rocky career; alternating between decently received comedies and underperforming dramas.  While I may not have an affinity for the series that this is directly based off of, I can appreciate a lot of what I saw in the trailers leading up to this and it seemed like a possible bright spot in a year that really hasn’t been that great for comedies so far.  Does this send up a nineties  television landmark manage to be a 21 Jump Street style success, or did this franchise really peak with Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff running in slow motion?  Let’s find out!!

In Emerald Bay Florida, there is a team of elite lifeguards, led by Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) that saves people, stop thieves, and pick up litter to ensure the happiness and wellbeing of their beach’s visitors.  We enter the story just as they’re about to start recruiting some newbies and a hotshot Olympic swimmer named Matt Brody (Zac Effron) is there to assume one of the spots as he has a letter from the local government guaranteeing him a position.  Mitch takes him on board, but the road to being a TRUE member of Baywatch, which currently includes Stephanie Holden and CJ Parker (Ilfenesh Hadera and Kelly Rohrbach) as well as two other newbies Summer Quinn and Ronnie (Alexandra Daddario and Jon Bass), he’ll have to prove that he’s more than just a good swimmer as this job takes dedication, heart, and a true commitment to protecting those who depend on them!  In fact, the whole team will have a chance to prove just that as local entrepreneur Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra) is up to no good and is letting the remnants of her criminal activity (drugs and dead bodies) wash up on THEIR beach!  Oh, now this will not STAND; especially when you’ve got Mitch “The Rock” Buchannon on the case!   Will the Baywatch crew be able to stop Victoria’s evil schemes before it’s too late?  Will Matt finally learn to think of others and be part of a team?  Just how much chiseled pecks and bodacious babes can they cram into one movie!?

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It’s like Pain & Gain, but we actually LIKE these people!!

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