Cinema Dispatch: Rocket Man

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Rocketman and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Dexter Fletcher

As much as I enjoy the music of Elton John, this movie has some serious hurdles to overcome, that has left me less than confident about it up to this point.  Primarily, the film feels from top to bottom like a cash-in following the success of the truly awful Bohemian Rhapsody; not just because it’s another biopic about a musician from roughly the same time period, but because they even got the pickup director of that film to make this one in its entirety.  Maybe that’s overstating things a bit as Dexter Fletcher does have a few other films under his belt, and it’s not like it’ll be THAT hard to be better than one of the worst movies of 2018, but let’s just say my expectations are firmly set to MEH right up until the very last minute.  Does this manage to stand out as the better of the two rock biopics from the Oldies station, or will the faults of Bohemian Rhapsody look downright quaint after seeing this movie?  Let’s find out!!

Elton John (Taron Egerton), also known as Reginald Dwight, is a rock and roll superstar with hit song after hit song over the last five decades, yet how many of us REALLY know about the man behind the music?  Well after storming his way into a substance abuse support group (decked out in full on Maleficent regalia in case you thought this was going to be subtle), he’s more than willing to tell us all about it!  Our story begins in the suburbs of Britain with him as a little boy starved for affection from his mother and father (Bryce Dallas Howard and Steven Mackintosh), when one day it turns out he’s a born piano player who can play songs from ear and hones his skills for many, many, years!  After a few stints playing back-up for a bunch of soul bands, he finally finds his break in the form of Bernie Taupin (Jamie Bell) who is a song writer in need of a musician which is just in luck because Mr. John over here needs a song writer to give meaning to his great music!  From there it’s a never ending thrill ride of overnight success, burgeoning sexuality, and the inevitable crash and burn when living the high life becomes indistinguishable from being an addict!  Will Elton John get his life back on track after losing so much to booze, pills, and drugs?  Can a musician of his immense popularity live his life openly as a gay man without shattering everything he’s worked so hard to build up?  Will we get answers to burning questions like who IS the Tiny Dancer, and why were those Crocodiles rocking?

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Wait, are the Jets in Bennie and the Jets actually JET PACKS!?

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Cinema Dispatch: Fantastic Four

‘The Fantastic Four’ by 20th Century Fox.

Fantastic Four and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Fox

Directed by Josh Trank

Look, you all knew this movie would be bad, right?  The negative press coming out of the screenings for this was fucking insane and there’s no way it’s gonna be a hit.  It MIGHT make some cash its first weekend, there isn’t a ghost of a chance that it survives into next week.  That’s not what you want to know though.  The box office totals are secondary to the quality of the actual film, and you’re ALL here to take a safe glimpse into the utter madness that many of us had to suffer through.  Well never let it be said that I’m not about giving the reader what they want, so step right up as I take you through this modern day monstrosity!

The movie is about super genius Reed Richards (Miles Teller) who is discovered during a science fair by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E Cathey) who is the father of Johnny Storm (Michael B Jordan) and Sue Storm (Kate Mara).  Franklin offers Reed a full scholarship in exchange for working at his lab on a teleporter that can send organic matter between dimensions, which Reed eagerly accepts.  With the help of another protégée of Franklin’s, Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), they build said teleporter, but it backfires and gives Reed, Johnny, Sue, Victor, and Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) who is Reed’s best friend, superpowers.  Will they use these powers for good, or will their actions lead to the destruction of Earth?

Will they EVER find a way to make a movie out of these characters!?  It can’t be THAT hard, right!?
Will they EVER find a way to make a movie out of these characters!?  It can’t be THAT hard, right!?

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Living on Netflix: Filth

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You know, I don’t think people give James McAvoy enough credit.  Sure he’s gotten a lot of critical success through the X-Men movies, but take a look through his filmography and you’ll see some serious acting chops.  By far his most extreme character to date is the unhinged Edinburgh detective Bruce Robertson in this adaptation of the 1998 novel of the same name.  Does Filth showcase McAvoy’s true acting prowess as well as the depths he’s willing to go, or is it a huge misstep for an actor in the prime of his career trying to prove himself by taking on the role of an unlikable prick?  There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to keep reading!

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