Sonic Bad Guys as well as Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
So it looks like the Tangle & Whisper mini-series worked out for IDW because now we’re getting a story arc all about Dr. Starline and his cohorts, and you know what? Heck yeah! HECK YEAH I SAY! IDW has done a REALLY good job with its original characters in this series and Dr. Starline is no exception, so a mini-series where we learn more about him and see him act maniacal is something that I can definitely get behind! Is this the start of a great chapter in the Sonic IDW canon, or will starring in his own issue prove too great a task for the not so good doctor? Let’s find out!!
The issue begins with Dr. Starline; gone from Eggman’s good graces and without his Warp Topaz, but no less determined to prove himself in the eyes of his idol. Sure he admits that Eggman is an arrogant fool who betrayed him, but the guy is just so darn good at making robots and putting his face on things that it’s impossible to truly hate him! Speaking of which, Starline’s first step in his master comeback is take over one of Eggman’s abandoned facilities full of robots and things with his face on it, and while he may not be able to fast travel across the world map, he’s still got a few tools in his inventory!
“I was hoping to save them for a line dancing contest or perhaps even a hootenanny.”
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child is owned by New Line Cinema
It’s that time of year again for ghosts and ghouls to roam the streets (which you shouldn’t be doing this year) and for us to get reacquainted with some old friends like Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kruger, and Michael Myers! There are no shortage of movies we could be talking about starring these icons of horror, but we’re going to take things in a slightly different direction here and familiarize ourselves with the oft overlooked subgenre of horror comics! All three of these characters have had their share of funny books based off their exploits, so why not find out which one has the best stories to tell and are the most fun to read? And no, we won’t be going into the Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash comics as they are their own separate thing from either franchise’s main books. Next year perhaps!? Well let’s get through this first before we start planning ahead!
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In Last Place for Bad Taste – Friday The 13th
Starting this list with the most heartbreaking of them all, my beloved Jason Voorhees has had undoubtedly the WORST comics on this list. Why? Well with this series you basically get two kinds of stories; blatantly fetishistic gore porn and philosophical musings from pompous edge lords. It’s a blatantly cynical misunderstanding of the character and the franchise as the stories seem to think that Jason is supposed to be the protagonist. You may have goes to the movie to SEE Jason Voorhees, but the stars of those movies were Alice Hardy, Tommy Jarvis, Tina Shepard, and so on. For almost every single one of these books there’s hardly a character worth rooting for or a victim who’s death is anything short of gleefully excessive because the writers want you to side with Jason as some sort of agent of chaos here to destroy THE MAN. Corrupt cops, evil corporations, and at its absolute most revolting point gay people, are all lined up for Jason to take his brutal bloody revenge out on to the cheers of the audience; either because you WANT those people to die or because your tickled by the rendering of blood and viscera on the page. The tackiest ones are where they try to justify their wanton bloodlust and by making Jason some sort of avenging spirit of Native American Genocide, like the supped up version of prefacing all MRA bullshit with WHITE women to try and pretend you’re not just an angry at all women, and this is something they try TWICE; once in the 2008 series and again in the Bad Land 2 parter. Out of all of these books, the only three that stand out as anything other than dreck are Jason Goes to Hell, Jason Vs. Leatherface, and Pamela’s Tale. Jason Vs. Leatherface is bad for a lot of the same reasons as the other books are BUT it has enough tongue in cheek humor to dull its more obnoxious moments, and the artwork has a grotesque EC Comics by way of Alfred E Newman look that lightens the mood considerably. Pamela’s Tale, while rather unnecessary as it’s just a prequel that doesn’t do all that much interesting with the characters, at least is driven by something other than gore and titillation as we see how she came to have Jason and how she ended up working at the camp. It’s far too happy to throw out allusions to future aspects of the franchise when it could have done its own thing, but I found it an entertaining enough read and one that didn’t make me repeatedly wince like so many of the other books. Jason Goes to Hell is the definite standout as it’s just a retelling of the ninth movie, but that film is pretty underrated as is and I think the more fantastical elements are better suited for a comic book; not to mention that the script for that movie is FAR superior to the original scripts they wrote for the other comic books as it focuses on characters instead of just watching a lumbering monster be directed at whatever gripes the writer has with the world. Aside from those three there’s not really anything to recommend as even the ones that pull back on the overt gore have garbage themes and characters, so I’d avoid almost every single one of these like the plague.
The Good: Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993); Friday the 13th: Pamela’s Tale (2007)
The Meh: Jason Vs. Leatherface (1995)
The Ugly: Friday the 13th: Bloodbath (2005), Friday the 13th Special (2005); Jason X Special (2005); Jason Vs. Jason X (2006); Friday the 13th: Fearbook (2006); Friday the 13th: How I Spent My Summer Vacation (2007); Friday the 13th (2007); Friday the 13th: Bad Land (2008); Friday the 13th: Abuser and the Abused (2008)
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
Welcome back to even more Sonic goodness as we continue to get further and further away from the Zombot arc! The last issue had some great character moments and gave us a fascinating new setup with Sonic out of the picture and I REALLY want this series to explore that idea a little bit more and maybe give Sonic a bit of dimension as he realizes his heroism is a lot more reluctant than he thought now that he has time away from it! However, if the cover is anything to go by, it doesn’t look like this team of talented professionals will be taking the advice of one annoying critic on the internet and Sonic will be returning a lot sooner than I was hoping. Still, do they manage to make his return to Mobius (I’m gonna keep calling it that AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!) interesting and compelling in its own right or are we simply sprinting as fast as we can back to the status quo? Let’s find out!!
The issue begins with Eggman crashing the party; piloting a giant robot with Omega strapped to the front of it like Mad Max in Fury Road. I suppose it makes the robot stronger, but I thought the whole deal with Omega is that he WASN’T a particularly unique creation of the doctor and was just another drone who someone found a conscious. Okay, MAYBE not so much a conscious as a RAGING HATE ON for Eggman, but six of one half a dozen of the other, and the bigger point is that I figured he could just MAKE a better giant robot than trying to attach a smaller robot for the additional RAM. This is all needlessly nitpicky though and to the issue’s credit, it DOES do what I wanted this issue to do… sort of. We’ll get back to the SORT OF part of this, but a good chunk of this issue are about the heroes trying stop Eggman’s giant robot without the help of Sonic the Hedgehog. Oddly enough, the one who steps up to the plate is Vector, and I’ve got to ask again; ARE SEGA PLANNING ON DOING SOMETHING WITH THIS GUY!? Maybe it’s just me, but for the last year or so Vector has been getting a higher profile in the Sonic universe; and not just in the comics! That recent Team Sonic Racing game had him as the leader of one of the teams and he was certainly present in that Sonic Forces game, but then again it’s been going on for a while now and nothing BIG has happened yet. If we’re building up to something with this character like his own game or something, I think they need to just get it over with instead of keeping us guessing for the next three years.
“EVERYONE! MOVE OUT!!” “You’ve got it, boss!” “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. I’m just exploring my options and haven’t committed to anything yet.”
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
We’re back with even more Sonic goodness, and sadly I have not lived up to the principals of my one true idol. I have not in fact been “Going Fast” recently as I’m a good month behind on this book, though it is somewhat fitting that I’m taking a somewhat lackadaisical pace at reviewing these issues since the book itself is in something of a lull after completing the Zombot arc. Yeah, let’s pretend I meant to do it like this. ANYWAY! With Sonic in another dimension and peace having been restored to his home, what will our heroes do now that they have some well-earned vacation days on their hands? Let’s find out!!
Much like the last issue, this is mostly about reestablishing the status quo now that we’ve finally come to the end of the story arc, but where the last issue was a bit overstuffed with new conflicts this one manages to find the right balance between story progression and character building; starting off of course with Sonic who has found himself in the Sol Empire. It seems that the cool blue dude lost his memory after crashing into the ground at what should have been terminal velocity, and so Blaze has to sit here trying to get him to explain not just who he is but how IMPORTANT he is and why he needs to get his memory back sooner rather than later. What’s fascinating about this is that despite being told he’s essentially the woodland critter chosen one, he seems cagey and aloof in a way that clearly indicates how little he wants anything to do with whatever it is he’s expected to do now. It definitely goes with the character as he’s been established as the first few issues of this series were about him trying to avoid responsibility and being free to go wherever he wanted before the return of Eggman eventually made that impossible, and I’m curious just how far this amnesiac version of him will go to refuse a call to action.
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
We’re back with another issue of everyone’s favorite video game AND furry comic! Sonic certainly covers a lot of bases, and yes I am aware I’m WAY behind here on these issues which hopefully won’t happen again, but considering my track record with these I’m guessing there’s ALREADY some special issue based on a mobile game or whatever that I’ve overlooked and need to catch up on. ANYWAY! With the Zombot arc over, does this get things off to a right start, or were the Zombots merely a symptom of some greater problem with the series that won’t be fixed just yet? Let’s find out!!
The issue begins with everyone reeling over the climatic explosion in the sky that sucked away the Zombot virus as well as Sonic the Hedgehog. This is all part and parcel with being an unflappable hero however, and the only way this could stick is if Sonic had a much more powerful son to take his place. Knuckles knows what’s up at least, though everyone else is gonna need a bit of time to get on the same page.
“Will you two be quiet!? I’m concentrating here!” … “Any minute now…”
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
Somehow this book came out like TWO MONTHS AGO and it just completely flew under my radar which probably says something unflattering about me as the release dates for these is something I actually TRY to keep an eye on. In any case, it’s better late than never and frankly it’s a good time to look at it as the first issue of the new story arc has just come out, and perhaps taking one last look back before moving forward will give us a bit of perspective… or more likely just reiterate how eager I was for the book to go in a new direction. In any case, let’s take a look! First and foremost, this happy looking cover where everyone is celebrating and looking cheerful? LIES!! This is the annual celebrating the year of the Zombots, and like most of the issues we got during that time, this is filled with enough sorrow and hushed contemplation to make The Walking Dead dismissively roll its eyes. That said, at least it doesn’t mercilessly drag things out as each self-contained story in here is rather quick and there’s a decent amount of cleverness to go with the grim atmosphere. The first story is BIG’S BIG ADVENTURE which admittedly doesn’t SOUND like a harsh and dreadful romp, but take one look at that art style and tell me you’re not supposed to feel an icy chill in the pit of your stomach!
“It looks just like the winter of our Discontent!”
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
I don’t know about you, but this is a day to celebrate because IT’S FINALLY OVER!! The Zombot arc certainly had its high points early on, but the longer it continued the more repetitive it all felt which was not helped by an ACTUAL pandemic happening that not only delayed the book for a few months but made the overwrought narrative a bit TOO real. This is it though; no more Zombots for the foreseeable future because the war is coming to an end as our heroes make our last stand! Will this story end with a bang that makes up for a lot of its missteps, or is this the final hurdle we just need to get over to move on to new and hopefully better things? Let’s find out!!
The issue begins with our heroes in dire straits. They may have collected MOST of the Chaos Emeralds, but they’re one short and are facing own an endless hoard of Zombots as well as Zavok who’s gone full Kaiju and is spitting atomic breathe at Angel Island. For a story arc that had no problem taking its sweet time getting anywhere, these last few issues have certainly picked up the pace with this one in particular trying to do about five issues worth of content all in one go to finally bring this arc to a close. Hey, I’m not complaining considering how much I grew to loath the Zombot arc (would have been MUCH better if they cut the number of issues in half), but that means there’s WAY too much going on for me to give proper context to here so I’ll try to explain. We’ve essentially got one story going on with Metal Sonic, Regular Sonic, and Silver trying to attack Zavok and get that final crystal while everyone else on the Island gets to have their last-minute hero moment or tragic ending. Knuckles starts having a fistfight with Zombot Shadow, Whisper confronts Zombot Tangle (though at least this time they don’t give her an over the top reaction), and Eggman acts like the total jerk-bag you see in every zombie movie; down to the humiliating death scene to punish him for his utter hubris!
“NOT THE FROGS!! MY GRANDMOTHER SAID IT WOULD END LIKE THIS!!”
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
Do you know how long it’s been since the last Sonic comic came out? It was March twenty-fifth; back in the halcyon days where we thought we could “prepare” for the virus and that we were going to take steps that would ACTUALLY make a difference instead of just delaying the inevitable backlash from the MY FREEDOMS crowd. Needless to say, it has been a rough three months and having Sonic back is certainly something I’m happy for to distract me from the horrors of the world even if we’re still stuck in the Zombot arc which frankly feels a bit TOO relevant considering the way the world has changed but I’m frankly too exhausted to get mad at it anymore. At least I HOPE it’s not bad enough for me to get mad at it again! Is this issue a fun and fulfilling distraction that gets us closer to the end of the arc, or will I be begging them to wrap this nonsense up now more than ever? Let’s find out!!
Where we last left our heroes, they were in the midst of a massive guerrilla attack on the Deadly Six who have taken the Chaos Emeralds for themselves and are underway in taking over the Zombot blighted world. Amy and Tails got the emerald held by Zomom which went well enough, but despite Cream and Gemerl getting Zeena’s emerald as well, they were essentially lost in the battle. This issue covers the rest of the teams getting their emeralds so thankfully they aren’t mercilessly dragging these fights out like I had feared, and for the most part, they’re fun little action set pieces with a variety of tactics and character moments. First up is Silver and Whisper taking on Zor; the resident Goth of the Deadly Six. Zor is fast and it’s taking all of Silver’s power just to keep him occupied while Whisper and her Wisp buddies set the trap. Apparently, Whisper’s gun fires a REFRACTABLE beam of energy, and so the wisps surround Zor holding crystals to essentially encase him a flurry of lasers; one of which hitting the Chaos Emerald and detaches it from him. Without missing a beat, Silver grabs the emerald and takes them all back through the portal to Angel Island; leaving Zor to his fate that he seems a little TOO pleased about.
“Gosh, why didn’t I just lose in the first place!? This is WAY better than enslaving the world!”
Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America
Welp! They’ve finally done it! After months of repetitive drama and convoluted storylines clogging up this series, we FINALLY have an issue that I didn’t hate! Sure there’s a bit of bitter irony in the fact that this series finally decided to lighten up a bit at the same time the world decided to turn into a nightmare (I give it six months before Death Stranding’s science fiction becomes more than speculative), but how have they managed to put a smile on my face after spending this much time so firmly hitched to the Walking Dead bandwagon? Did they finally realize their error and went off in an entirely new direction, or have they found an angle within this miserable story arc that actually had some appeal to me? Let’s find out!!
The issue begins with Tails and Amy working their butts off to outsmart, or at least outrun, their chosen Zeti opponent Zomom who is proving to be more difficult than they were anticipating. It’s a fine chase with a few good twists and turns but I’m not too keen on the constant big foolish fat guy jokes, though I guess IDW has to work with what Sonic Team gives them and it’s not like Zomom showed much depth of character when he was swinging that hoagie around in Sonic Lost World.
This guy has even less dignity than The Greedy from that Raggedy Ann movie. At least that dude could sing!
Bloodshot and all the images you see in this review are owned by Sony Pictures Releasing
Directed by David SF Wilson
Is it just me, or did anyone else think this movie was about a vampire? I mean it’s not like BLOODSHOT is some sort of household name to rival that of Iron Man and Thor, and with a name like that I’d have pegged them as a Blade knock off more than anything else! Well whatever this movie is about (a ROBOT vampire maybe?), it’s yet another vehicle for Vin Diesel who’s really had a bad luck streak in recent years as he’s been trying so hard to escape the Fast franchise to do his own thing but to no avail, and now he has to pretend that John Cena is his brother or whatever the heck is going on in that move that we won’t be seeing for another year. Just when he thought he was out, THEY PULL HIM RIGHT BACK IN!! Is this the one that will be the new franchise starter that he needs to escape the shadow of the Fast and Furious franchise? I mean… probably not, but let’s find out!!
Ray Garrison (Vin Diesel) is your typical action movie hero. He works for a SUPER SECRET SEAL TEAM SIX type outfit for the US military, and he’s covered in all sorts of scars that his beautiful wife (Talulah Riley) lovingly caresses whenever he returns from another world saving mission. Sounds about right for a typical action flick, but where’s the motivation for vengeance? WHERE’S THE INCITING INCIDENT THAT CALLS OUR HERO TO VIOLENCE!? Oh wait, there it is! Some dude (Toby Kebbell) kidnaps him and his wife looking for information, but when Ray doesn’t have the answers he’s looking for he kills the wife and puts a bullet in Ray’s head; an act that would kill a lesser man, but Vin Diesel isn’t about to be put down by a small amount of lead to the cranium! Instead, he manages to survive the shooting and his body Is recovered… somehow by SUPER SCIENTISTS working for Dr. Emil Harting (Guy Pearce) where it’s brought to his SUPER SCIENCE company and is fixed up good as new by basically turning him into Million Ants Man; only instead of ants it’s NANOBOTS!! With this new power he can recover from ANY damage, can punch things REALLY hard, is able to connect to basically any computer… BUT WILL THAT HEAL THE HOLE THAT IS LEFT IN HIS HEART!? Of course not, so almost immediately he starts to search for the man who killed his wife and plots his revenge despite the consternation of Dr. Harting and his rag tag group of cyborg buddies including Katie (Eiza González) who has a robo-lung and seems to be hiding more than just her giant chest mounted ventilation system. Will Ray find the man responsible and bring him to justice in a very violent fashion? Why did he kidnap Ray and his wife in the first place considering he didn’t have any information to give him, and is there more to this horrific act of violence than Ray initially suspects? Why the heck is even called Bloodshot!? Is it REALLY just because he has red eyes sometimes?
“Hey buddy, do you need help or something?” “All I need is to bath in the blood of my enemies and hear their screams as they take their last painful breath…” “Okay… well how about some eye drops?” “I mean… I won’t say no if you have some.”
The Reviewers Unite 