Cinema Dispatch: War Room

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War Room and all the images you see in this review are owned by TriStar Pictures

Directed by Alex Kendrick

All this wholesomeness and yet there’s no Kirk Cameron in sight!?  For those of you unaware, War Room is another film in the increasingly disturbing trend of movies that are one hundred percent Christian with a capital Christ!  Now there have been some REALLY good movies that take their cues from religious text such as Darren Aronofsky’s wonderful adaptation of the Noah story, but that’s not the kind of movie we’re in for though, is it?  We’re not here to learn about the text that has inspired so many people.  We’re here to see how AWESOME Christians are because no group of people needs constant reassurances of their superiority more than the target audience of whatever the hell this is.  Still, I’ve got to try and give it a fair shot.  Will there be something in here that can appeal to those outside of its specific niche, or is this yet another awful and impenetrable piece of propaganda disguised as an actual movie?  Let’s find out!!

War Room is the story of perfect wife Elizabeth Jordan (Priscilla C. Shirer) who unfortunately is doomed to a life of misery due to her poor decisions in life.  No, not the decision to marry a guy with a terrible temper and no respect for her; it’s the fact that she considers herself a “spiritual person” which to this movie’s target audience is right up there with “happy holidays” in terms of things people say inexplicable piss them off to no end.  Her marriage is falling apart and while it’s almost entirely the verbally abusive and controlling douche bag’s fault (Tony Jordan played by T.C. Stallings), she’s not entirely without blame and seems intent on resent her husband instead of finding solutions for their problems.  In comes Miss Clara who is trying to sell her house and has Elizabeth as her realtor.  She seems to have the power to read minds which presumably was given to her by Jesus and can tell that Elizabeth is suffering over something.  That or Elizabeth’s body language is easier to read than an actor in a Kabuki play.  Miss Clara may not know yet what it is, but she sure as hell knows how to cure it!  Will she get Elizabeth to see the power of Jesus which will help her fix her relationship?  Will Tony ever stop being a bag of dicks to his family, which of course translates to finding Jesus?  Will everything fall exactly into place for them once they start praying to God because he works on a Quid Pro Quo system!?

“Jesus is going to get ALL up in that!  Just you wait!”
“Jesus is going to get ALL up in that!  Just you wait!”

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