Cinema Dispatch: Snowden

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

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Snowden and all the images you see in this review are owned by Open Road Films

Directed by Oliver Stone

So first we got the Sully movie, and now THIS!?  What’s other movies are we gonna get about things that just freaking happened?  Has someone already polished off a treatment for the Charles Ramsey story!?  Well at least as far as these recent OF THE MOMENT BIOPICS go, this one has some relevance outside of the one event it’s focused on; namely the current state of US (and global) surveillance programs.  Does this manage to be an interesting and nuanced take on how all this information came to light, or is it a thinly veiled propaganda piece that no one bothered to make into a compelling film?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follows the career of Edward Snowden (Joseph-Gordon Levitt).  Some guy you MIGHT have heard about a few years ago.  Spoiler Alert!  He stole documents from the NSA and revealed to the public the existence of certain programs they were using such as PRISM and XKeyscore.  That’s towards the end of the story though.  Where we start is with him being discharged from the army (broke both his legs) and instead choosing to serve his country by applying to the CIA and doing computer stuff for them.  He barely manages to get the job and ends up soaring above his peers, going from job to job and always being at the best wherever he was (or at least that’s how the movie tells it).  Unfortunately, he finds out the US security agencies are doing a bunch of shady shit, and he’s not only having to deal with the guilt of spying on US citizens in an unconstitutional manner, he’s also having to keep this secret from his girlfriend Lindsay Mills (Shailene Woodley).  Will his sense of obligation to his fellow man be too strong for him to keep his head down!?  Well we all know the answer to that, but how’s it gonna play out when ACADEMY AWARD WINNING DIRECTOR OLIVER STONE shows it to us!?

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Chances are he’ll lose his freaking mind at some point.

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (Viva Las Pegasus)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

Well it took them long enough to jump on the Hangover craze!  Every show needs their road trip to Las Vegas (worked for Homer and Flanders), so I guess we’ll have to get the kidified version here.  Personally, I would have gone with Fear and Loathing in Las Pegasus route on this, but then again I doubt that Hasbro would go for something like that, amazing as it would be.  Can the ponies’ trip to the city of gambling and substance abuse be entertaining even with all the edges smoothed out, or will this be a painful exercise in sugarcoating something to protect the kids’ (and their overprotective parents’) delicate sensibilities?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with the Cutie Map (oh hey!  That’s still a thing!) ordering Applejack and Fluttershy to go to the infamous Las Pegasus; EXACTLY the kind of place you’d want to send the two… shall we say prudish members of the group, what with Applejack’s small town farm values and Fluttershy’s inclination towards panic attacks at the slightest provocation.  Oh, it can’t be THAT bad, right?

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“Wow!  It’s so shiny!”     “Things have certainly been looking up since they kidnapped all the homeless ponies and left them in Moo-tah.”

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Cinema Dispatch: Blair Witch

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

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Blair Witch and all the images you see in this review are owned by Lionsgate

Directed by Adam Wingard

Normally I don’t review movies if I haven’t seen the original, but oddly enough I DID see Blair Witch 2 on TV once, so I at least have that going for me.  Honestly though, this being a years later sequel to a movie that’s not all that complex (some people get lost in the woods and are killed by a witch or something) means that I’m probably not gonna get lost trying to decipher whatever mythology or legacy this movie is cashing in on.  So does this turn out to be a true Blair Witch movie for a new generation (whatever that would entail), or is this another pointless reboot of a series that was firmly a product of its time?  Let’s find out!!

The movie takes place almost two decades after the original where a few teenagers went missing in a nearby forest and the only thing found was fragments of video that seemed to imply something spooky must have happened.  Now that the brother of one of those teenagers is all grown up, James (James Allen McCune) along with his friends Peter and Ashley (Brandon Scott and Corbin Reid) are going into the forest to see if they can find anything and are taking along a local filmmaker Lisa (Callie Hernandez) to document the expedition.  Things get a bit off track right away though as some local Blair Witch nuts Lane and Talia (Wes Robinson and Valorie Curry) ,who ALSO discovered some of the original footage, insist on going along with them.  It doesn’t take too long for things to get spooky though, and now there’s a studio backing this, there’s a chance we might be able to see whatever it is that’s fucking with them!  Can these campers manage to survive whatever curse or magic spell or whatever the hell it is that’s trapped them in the woods?  Will James find that his sister is still alive after all these years?  Just what is the true source of all this weird stuff that’s going on!?

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It was aliens the whole time!  I freaking knew it!!

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Cinema Dispatch: Don’t Think Twice

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

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Don’t Think Twice and all the images you see in this review are owned by The Film Arcade

Directed by Mike Birbiglia

I always like to see comedians (especially of the Stand Up variety) take a chance behind the camera, especially considering how many really great works that transition has produced.  Bobcat Goldthwaite’s been making angry and brilliant films since the nineties with people only noticing in the past decade or so how great thy are, and Louis CK made such an impact with his television series that it’s become the template for comedian focused shows since then (*cough* Real Rob, Maron, Lopez *cough*).  Now it’s time for Mike Birbiglia to take another stab at it, and while I didn’t see his first film Sleepwalk with Me, I’ve heard very good things about it and can only hope he’s improved since.  Does this insight into the world of improv comedy turn out to be the sleeper hit of the year, or is it destined be yet another victim of the Sophomore Slump?  Let’s find out!!

The movie follow the six members of a New York City improv group known as The Commune; some of whom have been there since it began in the late nineties, others came later, and some are rather fresh to the scene.  Miles (Mike Birbiglia) is the presumptive leader of the group as he has seniority and also teaches an improv class where a lot of the members came from, including Jack and Samantha (Keegan-Michael Key and Gillian Jacobs) who seem to be the rising stars of the group.  You’ve also got the other old timer Bill (Chris Gethard), the rich girl who wants to be taken seriously Lindsay (Tami Sagher) and the one who’s TOTALLY writing a novel and will finish it eventually Allison (Kate Micucci) to round out the crew.  Everything seems to be going fine and they’ve built up their own little life around the show they do a couple of times a week at this small theater, but then life as to throw a curve ball and things change once they find out the theater is shutting down.  Not only that, Jack and Samantha managed to secure auditions for NOT SNL (Weekend Live) which puts even further strain on their friendship; especially with Miles who tried out years ago but couldn’t make the cut.  Will these comedians be able to survive the changes that are being thrust upon them?  Can Jack and Samantha make that transition to the big leagues without burning out or losing their friends in the process?  Why can’t they ALL be winners!?

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“Anyone thought of some good material today?”     “meh.”

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Cinema Dispatch: When the Bough Breaks

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

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When the Bough Breaks and all the images you see in this review are owned by Screen Gems

Directed by Jon Cassar

I really did not want to see this.  The trailers didn’t inspire much hope that this would be all that great and the premise sounded… unpleasant, to say the least.  Still, Morris Chestnut is a national treasure and it’s always good to see Regina Hall get some work, so maybe the people in front of and even behind the camera can make something out of this dopey premise!  We can only hope…

The movie is about John and Laura Taylor (Morris Chestnut and Regina Hall) who have been trying for oh so very long to have a child, but they’ve failed multiple times and are down to their last viable embryo.  I’m pretty sure Regina Hall hasn’t gone through menopause though, so I’m not sure WHY it’s their last egg, but maybe she had some sort of medical issue that made her infertile and I just wasn’t paying attention.  What all of this ultimately means is that they have one last shot to have a child, and so they have to pick the right surrogate to bring it to term.  In walks Anna Walsh (Jazz Sinclair) who’s just volunteered at the fertility clinic that John and Laura are working with, and immediately Laura falls in love with her.  Within days, Anna is pregnant with their child and the Taylors couldn’t be happier!  That is until Anna’s shit head boyfriend Mike (Theo Rossi) beats the hell out of her and she’s left without much options.  Hey, she’s already carrying their kid, so why not let her stay in the guest house?  Well… it turns out that Anna may not be all there mentally, and she immediately develops a crush on John which complicates matters.  Will Anna have her way with John behind Laura’s back?  Just how far from stable is Anna, and what will she be willing to do to get what she wants?  Just how the hell did THIS woman manage to bullshit her way through the fertility clinic’s psych evaluation!?

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Oh I’m sure she’s FINE!  Look how happy she is for them!!

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (The Fault in Our Cutie Marks)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

Oh hey!  It looks like we’re finally getting another Cutie Mark Crusaders episode that’s ACTUALLY about them being the CMC!  It’s unfortunate that they still can’t seem to carry an episode when it isn’t explicitly about cutie marks, but until the writers figure out that mystery, I guess we should take what we can get.  Does this episode bring back some of that CMC magic in a new and interesting way, or are we gonna keep dipping back into the same well until it completely runs dry?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with the CMC LLCTM doing what they do best, which I guess means assuring waspy white ponies that their kids aren’t going to grow up to be serial killers.  I’m sure this is EXACTLY what they pictured their lives would be when they got their Cutie Marks.

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“Thank you for seeing us on such short notice.”     “No problem, but we can’t stay out past dark.”

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Cinema Dispatch: Sully

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 1 Comment

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Sully and all the images you see in this review are owned by Miramax and Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by Clint Eastwood

It has been a while since I’ve seen a Clint Eastwood movie.  I’m pretty sure the last one I saw was Gran Torino which was pretty excellent and honestly a really good swansong for the ACTOR Clint Eastwood even if he’s continued to direct since then.  Still, I definitely have some catching up to do here, and what better way to do so than with his new movie about his favorite subject?  Heroic men doing awesome things and then people trying to punish them for it!  Turn in your wings Sullenberger!  YOU’RE OFF THE CASE!!  Does this look into one of America’s modern folk heroes turn out to be another winner for the venerable director, or is Clint Eastwood just spinning his wheels at this point?  Let’s find out!!

The movie begins a few days after the Miracle on the Hudson, where Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger (Tom Hanks) and his copilot Jeff Sliles (Aaron Eckhart) managed to not only land their plane that had blown BOTH engines into the Hudson River, but managed to do so without losing a single passenger!  All’s good then, right?  Well… there inevitably has to be an investigation to find out what exactly happened and if Sully endangered more people doing what he did rather than trying to head back to a nearby runway.  Fair enough I guess, but compound that with the whole world staring at him while ALSO dealing with the Post Traumatic Stress of the crash itself, then you’ve got a recipe for a man about to snap under the pressure which won’t exactly help his case that he’s a trained and objective professional who’s decision to land in the Hudson was the best one.  Can Sully convince the NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board) that he shouldn’t be shit canned for being a hero?  Will he handle this immense pressure with grace and inhuman composure?  Is the insurance company not gonna cover this!?

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“That plane cost sixty million dollars, and SOMEONE has to pay for it.”     “You’re looking at me, and I don’t know why.”     “Well you WERE the one flying it, and our insurance doesn’t cover water damage.”

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Cinema Dispatch: Southside with You

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

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Southside with You and all the images you see in this review are owned by Miramax and Roadside Attractions

Directed by Richard Tanne

Well I guess if Oliver Stone got to make a George W Bush movie during his last year of office, I guess it’s not THAT outlandish for the same to happen to our first black president, though admittedly I get the feeling this one isn’t going to have as much beef with the sitting president as Oliver Stone did when he made his movie.  Now that I think of it, an Oliver Stone Obama movie would be pretty interesting.  I guess we’ll have to see if he shows up in Snowden.  ANYWAY, does this film about Barrack and Michelle’s first date manage to fill us with warm fuzzies about the soon to be former and definitely future presidents of the Unite States, or is this just a thinly veiled propaganda piece to help preserve the legacy of a President whose career really doesn’t need such blatant evangelism?  Let’s find out!!

The movie isn’t all that complicated as it really is just one day with Barrack (Parker Sawyers) and Michelle (Tika Sumpter) as they go out on the town in 1989 Chicago.  Michelle though doesn’t believe this to be an ACTUAL date, so I guess that will serve as our major conflict as Barrack tries to warm himself up to her, but she does have pretty legitimate reasons to not let this outing go any further than it needs to; particularly the fact that she’s his supervisor at a law firm that she’s worked her ass off to get a modicum of respect at.  Still, there’s no denying that Barrack charm which he puts to full effect as they travel all over scenic Chicago (or at least the good parts of Chicago) while also helping a local community come together to fight for a Community Center to be built in their neighborhood!  Can Barrack manage to win Michelle’s heart before the day draws to a close?  Will Michelle be forced to choose between her career and a guy who seems to be a perfect match for her?  How do they not run out of things to say to each other!?  Their first date is like twelve hours long!!

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“Uh… Have you played Super Mario Bros?”     “Super what now?”

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Cinema Dispatch: Hell or High Water

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

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Hell or High Water and all the images you see in this review are owned by CBS Films and Lionsgate

Directed by David Mackenzie

Can we say award season is in full swing now?  Have we run out of DC films to be disappointments after collecting half a bajillion dollars instead a full bajillion?  Sure, Doctor Strange is in November and we’ve got a few more animated kids films to suffer through, but the deluge of lightweight and over budgeted boom-a-palooza is over?  Well we can only hope, but what we should be hoping for even MORE is that the Oscar bait this year is up to snuff and not a bunch of studio films that cut the budget and let the actors look pensive for minutes on end set in World War 2.  At least with this movie, things seem to be off to a good start as this is a down and dirty Texas crime movie starring well known genre actors as well academy award winning ones!  Will this be one of the best films of the year (Oscar bait or otherwise), or is there just a bunch of hot air surrounding a mediocre actioner?  Let’s find out!!

The movie begins with two kinda dopey dudes robbing a small time bank in a small time town in East Texas.  They manage to get away clean, more so out of dumb luck than their own skill, but I guess that’s the advantage of robbing bum-fuck nowheres-ville.  The two end up hitting a few more places in a similar manner, also getting though it by the skin of their teeth, and this gets the attention of Texas Ranger Marcus Hamilton (Jeff Bridges) who’s on the verge of retirement but thinks he can nab these two before he finishes up his tenure.  He drags along his partner Alberto (Gil Birmingham) to check on those places that have been hit and see if they can predict where the two are gonna strike next, all the while running into reminds of how miserable these areas are due to the recent recession.  Our nominal heroes by the way, brothers Tanner and Toby Howard (Ben Foster and Chris Pine) are victims of said misery, but their exact motivations aren’t clear yet as to why they’re raising money and how much of it they need.  Will the cops stop the robbers before they can reach their goal?  What are Jeff Bridges chances of making it out of this alive considering he’s days from retirement?  Is it REALLY that hard to catch these dumb mother fuckers?

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“Start the car bro!”     “What the hell happened to careful planning and flawless execution!?”     “WILD CARD MOTHER FUCKER!!  YEEEEE-HAW!!”

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Super Recaps: My Little Pony season 6 (Buckball Season)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ 2 Comments

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all the images you see in this recap are owned by Hasbro.

Episode directed by Denny Lu and Tim Stuby

We’re back with another episode of The Bad News Mares!  Sports haven’t really come up in the show other than when it comes to the Wonderbolts, and even then it’s more akin to air shows and Top Gun stuff rather than any of the various ball based sports that other ponies can participate in.  Sure, there was the Equestrian Games, but we the focus was on setting up for the games rather than participating in them, and probably spent more time with the CMC practicing their routine than on any of the events.  Even with this episode incorporating a new sport into the series though, I get the feeling we’ll be talking about sportsmanship rather than… well sports.  Does this episode manage to take full advantage of its premise and the give us an interesting game to go along with the drama, or are the writers just throwing darts at the wall and seeing what sticks?  Let’s find out!!

The episode begins with Applejack practicing some sort of advanced bucking technique when she’s rudely interrupted by Rainbow Dash who’s just bored and is looking for something to do.  Lucky for her, Applejack could use some help as her cousin Braeburn from Appleloosa challenged her to a game of Buckball after getting some badass partners and she needs a team for the big game… which is tomorrow… and in Appleloosa.  So Applejack is out there polishing her own skills when she hadn’t even gotten a team together!?  Eh, maybe she figured Rainbow Dash would come by to bug her at some point and she’d be an easy mark for anything competitive.  Sure enough, Rainbow Dash is ready to kick some pony ass at the upcoming game, but there is one problem.  SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT BUCKBALL IS!!

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Cue the eye roll and start the laugh track!

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