Author: Matt Vetrano

Cinema Dispatch: Uncharted

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Uncharted and all the images you see in this review are owned by Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by Ruben Fleischer

The quest for the truly great video game movie has felt like a moot point for years now; especially since people are rediscovering some of those old nineties films and realizing that they were actually pretty good. Mortal Kombat is well regarded for its fun action and interesting aesthetic (certainly more so than its 2021 counterpart) and I still maintain that the Super Mario Bros movie is an unsung classic of the dystopian sci-fi genre. Heck, even with the more recent films like Detective Pikachu, a good chunk of the Resident Evil movies, and arguably Sonic the Hedgehog, it’s hard to say with a straight face that we’re still waiting for someone to “get it right” when there are plenty of examples we can point to that are more than watchable. Now it’s time for Sony’s big cinematic money maker for the PlayStation to try and prove that it can be a good movie in its own right instead of just mimicking big-budget adventure films. Will it be another feather in the game industry’s cap as far as film adaptations, or will this be as quickly forgotten as that Tomb Raider movie from a few years ago? Let’s find out!!

Nathan Drake (Tom Holland) is a lovable crook in the heart of New York as he steals his way through a meager life because how else are you going to afford rent there? He has aspirations of… I guess being Indiana Jones at one point, but it’s not until some shady guy named Sully (Mark Wahlberg) offers him a job that his career as an adventurer finally gets off the ground. With promises of an impossibly large treasure as well as clues to what happened to his missing brother Sam, Nathan jet sets around the world to solve the mystery of Magellan’s lost gold! With the help of an associate of Sully’s named Chloe (Sophia Ali), can this unlikely team manage to find the treasure before ruthless businessman Santiago (Antonio Banderas) and his crew of even more ruthless mercenaries led by Jo (Tati Gabrielle) can take it for themselves? Who is this Sully guy anyway, and is he being forthright with everything he knows about Sam? Does Nathan have any idea what he set himself up for? I mean there are at least four games I could have shown him to give him a clue before he agreed to this ridiculous adventure.

“We’re falling to our deaths AND everything is on fire!?”
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Super Wrestling: AEW Rampage (02-04-2022)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

AEW Rampage is owned by All Elite Wrestling, Tony Khan, Shahid Khan, and TNT

We’re back another episode of Rampage which often ends up being the better of the two shows; mostly because they can get in and out with a bunch of good matches while Dynamite tries to figure out what the direction is for the next few weeks. That said, Dynamite had a pretty solid show with a fantastic main event, so is this one of the few times where Rampage isn’t the more exciting show of the week? Let’s find out!!

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Adam Cole Vs. Evil Uno

As a diehard Evil Uno fan, this wasn’t exactly a fun match to watch. The guy doesn’t even get his entrance and it’s over in less than two minutes which is quite below what I expect to see from the de facto leader of the Dark Order! Oh sure he gets to do that Hanging Neck Breaker thing and gets a bit of a hope spot after that, but then Cole gets the knees up on a Senton attempt and that’s pretty much it for Uno. He gets one Rolling Elbow after that before a High Knee from Cole that knocks him out cold. For good measure, Cole hits another kick to the face and a Boom Knee Strike, and then finally goes for the pin to win the match. The goal was clearly to make Adam Cole look strong which is good because of what they do after the match, but I know Uno can put on a better showing than this! Maybe he and Stu can get a decent match challenging Jurassic Express for the Tag Team Titles, but for now, let’s hear what Cole has to say.

Cole starts listing off all the guys he beat in singles competition and reiterates that OFFICIALLY he has never lost a singles match. Sure, there was that thing with Orange Cassidy a week ago, but that was a Lights-Out match and doesn’t count in the record books! Still, even as the words are coming out of his mouth it’s clear he doesn’t believe them as e feels the need to reassert himself here as the best in this business, and what better way to do that than to go for the AEW World Title? Assuming of course that Hangman Adam Page can survive the TEXAS DEATH MATCH with Lance Archer, it would be pretty interesting to see those two lock it up in the ring, and it wouldn’t be the first time a challenger to Hangman went through Evil Uno first.

Continue reading “Super Wrestling: AEW Rampage (02-04-2022)” →

Super Wrestling: AEW Dynamite (02-02-2022)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

AEW Dynamite is owned by All Elite Wrestling, Tony Khan, Shahid Khan, and TBS

We’re back with another week of Dynamite action that you probably forgot about already given that I’m still about two weeks behind! Then again, this DOES have the confrontation between MJF and CM Punk that we were waiting months to see, so perhaps the memories are still a bit fresh in your minds! Was this a fantastic blowoff to a fantastic feud, or were we all just setting ourselves up for disappointment? Let’s find out!!

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Jon Moxley Vs. Wheeler Yuta

Yuta is accompanied to the ring by Orange Cassidy and Danhausen

I still have no idea who this Danhausen guy is, but it hardly matters as he’s not much of a factor here. For the most part, it stays focused on Moxley and Yuta with only the occasional interaction with Orange Cassidy to foreshadow a future match between him and Moxley. As I’ve said before, AEW doesn’t typically do squashes with their named talent, and so Wheeler Yuta gets plenty of offense here with a Manhattan Drop, Step Up Enziguri, and Corner Splash combo giving him a decent hope spot in the middle of the match, and this forces Moxley to roll to the apron. The two start fighting on there, but it’s clear that whatever Yuta throws at him, Moxley can not only take it but dish it back with twice as much force and so he manages to hit a DDT on the apron that sends Yuta to the floor. This is when he spends time to confront Orange Cassidy while Danhausen does some sort of finger magic thing, and it gives Yuta enough time to land a Top Rope Splash onto Moxley, and this leads to a German Suplex into a bridge that gets Yuta a two count. The two go back and forth for a bit with Yuta managing to turn a Paradigm Shift into a slam on Moxley, but Moxley once again brute forces his way to having the upper hand. He locks in a Rear Naked Choke to stop Yuta’s momentum and knocks him to the floor with a King Kong Lariat. A Paradigm Shift soon follows and that’s all she wrote as Yuta stays down for the three count which gives Moxley the win. It wasn’t a bad opener, but it wasn’t anything special either. Moxley seems to be easing back into his role here at AEW with basic matches, but it looks like we’ll be moving towards something bigger soon enough because…

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Cinema Dispatch: Moonfall

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Moonfall and all the images you see in this review are owned by Lionsgate

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Roland Emmerich and I don’t always see eye to eye, but sometimes he can put together a decent enough spectacle to remind us of why he became such a big name in blockbuster cinema. Heck, I’m probably one of the few critics that thought Independence Day: Resurgence was pretty decent, so it shouldn’t take too much for me to give his latest movie a thumbs up; especially with such a brilliantly simple premise! The moon crashing into the Earth? It practically writes itself! Does Emmerich pull it off once again with this rather tenuous adaptation of Majora’s Mask, or will we be hoping for the moon to actually crash into us by the time this movie is over? Let’s find out!!

All the way back in the year 2011, a crew of astronauts was attacked by a mysterious space anomaly that led to one astronaut dying and the other two having to make a daring crash landing back on Earth. They manage to survive the incident, but one of them, Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) ends up taking the fall for it as he insists that there was something out there that caused it and that it wasn’t just solar flares or orbital wobble. Fast forward ten years and the other astronaut, Jocinda Fowler (Halle Berry), managed to make her way to Deputy Director of NASA while Brian has snuggled into the role of a disgraced booze-hound who will surely be quick to sober as soon as everyone realizes he was right all along. Sure enough, the moon starts to fall out of orbit and it looks like this anomaly is responsible for it; not that NASA wants to admit it, but a conspiracy theorist KC Houseman (John Bradley) manages to get the word out and the world starts to panic over the fact that they’re about to find themselves between a literal rock and a hard place. With little time to put a plan together and even less time to pull it off, Jocinda calls in Brian who drags along KC to try and save the world from utter destruction. Oh, and other people are doing stuff here and there, mostly involving the families of our main characters, but they’re mostly on hand to look at all the stuff getting destroyed. Can our unlikely trio of scientists and pseudo-scientists fix the moon before it turns the Earth into a giant space donut? What is the nature of this anomaly that Brian saw, and are there forces working behind the scenes to stop our heroes from discovering the truth? I don’t know, if we can’t figure out how to stop Global Warming, what are the chances we can stop the moon from headbutting us?

“All that recycling and it turns out the moon was gonna kill us all along.” “I blame social media.”
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Super Wrestling: AEW Rampage (01-28-2022) – Beach Break

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

AEW Rampage is owned by All Elite Wrestling, Tony Khan, Shahid Khan, and TNT

We’re back with more AEW action, though at this rate we’re probably a solid two weeks behind here and I’m sure everyone has already moved on to talk about whatever headline-grabbing events occurred on the most recent episode. Still, it’s good to keep chugging away at these for posterities sake, and honestly, missing an episode of wrestling is like skipping over an issue of a superhero comic; you’re guaranteed to get lost if you don’t have the complete picture at all times. Does this episode of Rampage live up to the Beach Break event in ways that the Dynamite show did not? Let’s find out!!

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Jon Moxley Vs. Anthony Bowens

Bowens is accompanied to the ring Max Caster

Despite Moxley’s overwhelming popularity, he’s not a guy who lets it go to his head. Where a place like WWE would want winners to be winners and never show an inch, AEW has a much less strict attitude for its wrestlers which is just another reason that fits in so well here. To wit, Moxley gives up quite a bit to Anthony Bowens who eats a lot of offense and does a lot of bumping at the start of the match but eventually turns things in his favor for the rest of it. It helps that Caster is on the outside to provide the occasional distraction, but Bowens is still a great wrestler and they certainly don’t want to bury him here, even against a top talent guy like Moxley. Bowens manages to hit a Superplex on Moxley which gets him a pretty close two-count, and Caster makes a big save by pushing Bowens out of the way of a Suicide Dive. This gives Bowens a chance to hit a DDT, but still, Moxley will not stay down as he kicks out at two. With Bowens seeing the writing on the wall, he manages to get a chain from Caster and attempts to hit Moxley behind the ref’s back, but Moxley quickly hits a Cutter that leaves Bowens flat on the mat. Caster makes a desperate attempt to even the odds, but Moxley throws him out of the ring immediately and finishes off Bowens with a King Kong Lariat and a Paradigm Shift. I’m glad that Moxley is back and putting on good matches, and I’m MORE than glad that AEW is recognizing Bowens as a solid talent, but the match couldn’t really rise above being good as I think the Acclaimed formula is getting stale. Having Caster interfere constantly and teasing the boom box spot only for the Heels to get their comeuppance is a fine formula, but it starts to lose its impact if that’s what we see every time.

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Cinema Dispatch: Jackass Forever

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Jackass Forever and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Jeff Tremaine

This was yet another movie pushed WAY back due to the Pandemic, but honestly the kind of thing I want at this point.  Even if things are far from over, we’ve been on a hellacious journey the last two years and a nice little nostalgic throwback like this can certainly lift my spirits; assuming of course they manage to pull it off.  All the Jackass movies have worked so far, but can the formula work even when the gang is within spitting range of collecting social security checks?  Let’s find out!

The dudes who you know and love from the previous film are back once again to do ridiculous stunts and terrifying endurance tests for your amusement.  That’s about all there is to it, and that’s about all there’s ever been to this premise.  Film a bunch of stuff, put it in a decent order, and save something big for the very end.  Despite such a simple formula, is it something that they can pull off for the fourth time?  What new wacky ideas did they come up with in the ten years since the last film?  Will any of them live through this to see Jackass 5, or is this as far as we should push it?

“I’m Jonny Knoxville, and welcome to… Zzz”     “Johnny?  JOHNNY!”     “JACKASS!  What?  What happened?”
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Super Wrestling: AEW Dynamite (01-26-2022) – Beach Break

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

AEW Dynamite is owned by All Elite Wrestling, Tony Khan, Shahid Khan, and TBS

I still don’t understand why they do Beach Break in January given it’s one of the worst months to do anything beach-related, but they’ve got a bunch of special episodes they want to do each year so I guess that’s just how the scheduling works out.  Despite the anachronistic title, is this an episode that brings the fun and excitement you expect from a special episode of Dynamite?  Let’s find out!!

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Cody Rhodes Vs. Sammy Guevara – TNT Title Ladder Match

Cody is accompanied to the ring by Arn Anderson

While title matches are becoming increasingly common as the openers for the show, it’s not often that you see one that’s also a ladder match.  Heck, it’s not that often you see a ladder match that’s one on one as the format almost demands I high level of chaos (and more bodies to share the pain), but they wanted something unique for their Beach Break show and we certainly got it here.  It starts off pretty simple as neither one wants to grab a ladder right away to the consternation of the crowd, but Sammy eventually gets tossed out of the ring and they brawl their way through the crowd which really gets things going.  Sammy eventually manages to hit a Cutter on Cody over the barricade, and this is the first chance someone has to try and climb a ladder.  One of the things that annoy me about Ladder matches is how slowly wrestlers will go up it (despite there being a title on the line, each step requires the wrestler to take a lunch break), but here they are actually going up it like they want to get the belt and win the match!  Cody manages to catch up to Sammy just in time which gives us our first ridiculous move of the match; a Superplex from the top of the ladder where both of them come CRASHING to the mat below!  Impressive to be sure, but I can definitely see why they immediately cut to commercial so that both of them can catch their breath after taking such a bump!  Of course, it’s not the only astoundingly dangerous thing they do in the match.  Cody throws a ladder at Sammy which gives him a chance to climb the ladder set up under the belt, but then Sammy climbs a ladder next to it and JUMPS OFF TO LAND A CUTTER ON CODY that once again sends them crashing to the mat.  Not to be outdone, Cody hits Sammy with a Cross Rhodes off a ladder only a few minutes later, and for the third time, they go crashing to the mat.  Both are worn out by this, but Cody gets up first and starts to climb, and it makes sense at this point for him to be slow as he’s been through a lot in the match.  Sammy manages to climb up behind him and both are on top fighting over the belt that’s hanging on a bar above the ring.  Now we’ve had a lot of fun with the absurd stunt’s they’ve pulled so far, but here’s where I think they reach a turning point and take it too far.  Both grab onto the bar and kick away the ladder so both are dangling very high in the air, and both eventually drop to the mat below.  It looks like Sammy got the worst of it, and sadly it’s only the beginning as they soon set up for something even worse.  Sammy manages to bridge a ladder between the apron and the barricade, and puts Cody on top of it.  He then sets up a HORRIFICALLY tall ladder next to him from which he jumps off to land on Cody!  To make it worse, the ladder Cody was on ends up holding and therefore doesn’t break Sammy’s fall, so it looks like his back was folded up like a wallet on impact.  Thankfully Sammy can still walk and he gets back in the ring to start climbing the ladder, but Cody manages to catch up to him.  The two trade blows on the top of it until Cody finally falls over; allowing Sammy Guevara to get the belt, win the TNT title, and hopefully see a doctor as soon as possible.  Ladder matches are particularly dangerous given just how much chaos the ladders introduce.  They create bad angles, unforgiving platforms, and hard weapons, so there’s simply nothing about them that are the least bit healthy for the wrestlers.  If you’re only going to do it every once in a while then I understand going all out, but you don’t want Sammy to break his spine over an opening match on Dynamite.

Continue reading “Super Wrestling: AEW Dynamite (01-26-2022) – Beach Break” →

Super Wrestling: AEW Rampage (01-21-2022)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

AEW Rampage is owned by All Elite Wrestling, Tony Khan, Shahid Khan, and TNT                  

We’re back with more Rampage action, and this is the final episode of AEW before the Beach Break event!  The event that already happened because I’m still catchup up on things, so let’s not waste any more time and get right to it!

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Jon Moxley Vs. Ethan Page

Page is accompanied to the ring by Scorpio Sky

This is Moxley’s first match since returning on Wednesday’s show, and Ethan Page is a good opponent for him.  The two share similar brutish styles, but ALL EGO Ethan Page definitely allows for a lot of flair and spectacle in a way that Moxley is diametrically opposed to.  Page will toss Moxley around and put on a goofy grin while doing it, while Moxley will just grab the dude’s face and start biting it.  That said, for all of Moxley’s ferocity he does fall a bit short when it comes to strategy here as Page tries to work the knee throughout the match, and the commercial break starts when Moxley charges at him and he dodges so that Moxley goes face-first into the post and tumbles down to the floor.  I’ll give him credit for being a tough dude, but you can do that WHILE ALSO not hurting yourself as much as you hurt your opponent.  Things eventually settle into a back and forth routine as Moxley starts to focus and hits some solid moves, but he can’t quite nail the Paradigm Shift and ends up eating big moves from Page whenever he tries it.  A Brain Buster followed by a Single Leg Crab looks to move things in Page’s favor, but a Low Bridge and a Suicide Dive from Moxley keep him from taking over entirely.  Page hits back with an Avalanche Powerslam from the middle rope and goes to make the pin, but Moxley catches him and hits a series of elbows and knees right to Page’s face.  With Page reeling from this assault, Moxley locks in the Bulldog Choke which knocks out Page and gives Moxley the win.  But that’s not all!  On his way out of the arena, Moxley runs into none other than Bryan Danielson who gives him a sideways glance before stepping out of his way!  I’m sure that match is going to blow everyone away whenever they get around to it, but this was a fun and perfectly satisfying way to bring Moxley back into the fold.  Despite bringing back one of AEW’s biggest starts, it wasn’t bigger or longer than it needed to be; a lesson that they could stand to take to heart a little more often.

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Super Wrestling: AEW Dynamite (01-19-2022)

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

AEW Dynamite is owned by All Elite Wrestling, Tony Khan, Shahid Khan, and TBS

We’re back with another week of AEW action that everyone else saw a while ago, and while I’ve said I will catch up for a while now, I can feel it this time!  This weekend I will be nice and caught up, but for now let’s take a look at this episode of Dynamite, starting with…

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The Return of Jon Moxley – Ready to Kick Butt and Drink Blood!

Jon Moxley has been out for several months now to deal with some serious issues, and in that time he missed a lot of big moments at AEW.  Hangman Adam Page winning the title, Bryan Danielson’s turn to the dark side, even his buddy, Eddie Kingston, facing off against CM Punk!  Thankfully he seems to be in a much better place now and is more than ready to make up for lost time, though even this happy occasion is not without its sourpusses as some dude starts heckling Moxley from the crowd.  Not missing a beat, Moxley tells him to go F**k himself and has the dude ejected which the crowd went wild for.  He’s still one of the top draws at this company and is an expert at being an unscripted force of nature (he even threatens to drink his opponents’ blood) and I’m curious to see what he does next!

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Super Comics: Sonic Imposter Syndrome – #2

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Sonic: Imposter Syndrome as well as Sonic the Hedgehog (the comic book series) and all the images you see in this recap are owned by IDW and SEGA of America

We’re back with another issue of one of the many Sonic mini-series that IDW has put out since they started the main series! For the most part, they’ve proven to be fertile ground to test new ideas and get a tad bit daring with things that perhaps wouldn’t fly as well with the SEGA branded characters, and so far this series has proven to be no exception to that rule! After such a fantastic first issue, can they hope to follow it up with something just as good; or perhaps even better!? Let’s find out!!

The issue begins with the “final test” that Dr. Starline alluded to at the end of the last issue; the one that he had to use his Hypnotic Glove Powers to convince Surge and Kitsunami to go along with. Still, the not-so-good Doctor is perhaps overestimating his ability to control the situation as Surge has been difficult to control and this mission doesn’t exactly play to her strengths. The three are infiltrating an Eggman base to take it over with as little fuss as possible which means Starline is going to upload a bug in the mainframe that will somehow give him full control of the base while the other two take out the comms tower to prevent an alert from being sent to Eggman. Of course, having one of your facilities go offline seems about as suspicious as a blaring an alarm would be, but who even knows what Eggman pays attention to on a day-to-day basis? Heck, he’s probably still playing around with his VR headset from the last time we saw him! What this mini-series has done so well is to explore both Surge and Kitsunami as genuinely flawed characters that don’t feel limited by the brand. I can’t say exactly how stringent SEGA has been with the content of the IDW books, but it definitely feels like the original characters have much more room to emote and feel negative emotions which is far more compelling than Sonic’s usual TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL attitude. Surge is both sympathetic and despicable as her entire existence is just to be a tool for Starline but she lashes out at Kitsunami who is just as trapped as she is. It makes the journey more interesting if a character already has flaws that simply switching sides wouldn’t fix and at this point, it could easily go either way whether she and Kit will stay evil or eventually see the light.

“I’m the Vegeta in this situation and you’re, AT BEST, a Krillin. Do we understand each other!?”     “Actually I see myself as more of a Gohan-”     “WHAT WAS THAT!?”     “Nothing!”
Continue reading “Super Comics: Sonic Imposter Syndrome – #2” →