Author: Matt Vetrano

Cinema Dispatch: Marty Supreme & The Smashing Machine

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Whenever I feel the urge to put a couple of reviews together, I at least try to find some sort of thematic connection between them, and I may have found the most specifically connected double bill that could possibly exist. Both films are directed by a Safdie brother, both are character pieces about sports figures, and both have stars of billion dollar franchises but ended up with mediocre box office returns. Oh, and both were released by the same studio, if there weren’t enough similarities already. It’s like they had a bet to see which one could make the better movie with more or less the same premise and resources, which I suppose means that it falls upon me to call this match and raise the arm of the winner! Will it be the intense kid from Dune, or Dwayne “The Tooth Fairy” Johnson who takes home the gold!? Let’s find out!!

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Marty Supreme

Marty Supreme is owned by A24

Directed by Josh Safdie

Marty Mauser (Timothée Chalamet) may not look like much, but underneath the scrawny frame and terrible mustache is a world-class table tennis player with trophies and prestige under his belt, but still barely scraping by and has to pull scams so he can fund his trips to international tournaments. After a devastating defeat to an up-and-coming Japanese star (Koto Kawaguchi), Marty is more determined than ever to be at the next tournament and claim the top spot from his new rival. Of course, it doesn’t help his case that he scammed the International Table Tennis Association for a luxury hotel room, so on-top of his usual hustles to make it to the next tournament, he has a neigh unpayable bill to the organization that needs to be paid in full before he can compete. Tack onto all of this his strained relationship with his family and a girlfriend (Odessa A’zion) who’s about to give birth, and Marty is stuck with more problems than he can shake a ping-pong paddle at. His only hope might be from a local ink pen magnate (Kevin O’Leary) and his wife (Gwyneth Paltrow), but since Marty is sleeping with her on the side, it might prove an even more fought situation than even he’s capable of navigating. Can Marty fulfill his dream without destroying his life in the process, and will he even give up that for an opportunity to be the best in the world?

The Safdies have been two of my favorite filmmakers for some time, and their last collaboration, Uncut Gems, was an absolute treasure. This film, on the hand, is not nearly as shiny as Josh Safdie was not able to recreate that success despite how obvious it is that he’s trying to. Their distinct style has been carried over here, as once again we are following a driven individual as he fumbles his way through an endless and chaotic series of vignettes in pursuit of whatever they think will fix everything that’s gone wrong in their life. While I found this quality both horrifying and captivating in Uncut Gems and Good Time, it wore me down seeing it repeated here, and to my mind, he needn’t of bothered as he was already making an interesting movie well before he started to indulge in his usual tropes. The table tennis matches are stunning to watch, with trick shots and big swings to convey just how high a level these players are, and the pacing of the matches leave you at the edge of your seat anticipating the next volley with breathless anticipation. A movie that stayed focused on the tournaments would have been amazing in its own right, but I suppose Josh Safdie likes his characters to frantically run through the streets of New York City, and so a majority of the movie is about watching him make bad decisions instead of watching him play table tennis. I appreciate that the personal struggles are necessary for the payoff of the ending to be worth it, but where the previous Safdie films felt intense and ran at a breakneck pace, this one ends up being repetitive and overlong; failing to capture the bleak grittiness of Good Time or the comedic tragedy of Uncut Gems. A shorter runtime would have helped to at least keep the pacing from dragging, but it also fails to make Marty and his struggles meaningfully sympathetic. It’s hard to avoid the fact that the first problem he runs would have been the easiest to overcome, especially given just how far he’s willing to go later in the film, and as good as Chalamet is in the role, I just couldn’t connect with him when he wasn’t holding a paddle. The takeaway here is not that this is a bad movie as even a poorly done Safdie film is still better than most filmmakers on a good day, but the heart is missing where it’s needed most, and a strong ending that returns to the table tennis action does only so much to bring me back onboard. As much as I liked watching them hit balls back and forth, I’m not sure if it was worth the two hours of misery and anxiety to get there.

3 out of 5
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Cinema Dispatch: Caught Stealing & Eddington

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

My End of 2025 Catchups will still be ongoing well into the New Year, which is perfectly fine for me, as January looks to be the usual crop of mid-range horror movies and previous year stragglers. Today is what I like to call the Austin Butler Downer Double Feature, as both films are movies that had me feeling rather sad despite Austin Butler being on hand to try and liven things up.  I suppose it’s a shortcoming of mine as a critic that depressing movies have to work much harder to convince me of their quality than goofy ones, and being presented with two films by notoriously grim directors was definitely a challenge.  Can either of these depressing films by depressing filmmakers manage to get a thumbs up from yours truly? Let’s find out!!

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Caught Stealing

Caught Stealing is owned by Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by Darren Aronofsky

Hank Thompson (Austin Butler) isn’t someone you’d look at twice if you passed him on the street. He’s a bartender in New York City, he has a crappy apartment in the Lower East Side, and his good looks and charming personality do just enough to cover for his obvious alcoholism. When his neighbor (Matt Smith) asks him to watch his cat one weekend, it seems like just another meaningless event in his meaningless life, but then gangsters start chasing after him, the cops get involved, and the few friends he has left in this world start getting mixed up in whatever mystery he finds himself at the center of. With few people to turn to and fewer clues as to what’s even going on, can Hank outrun this waking nightmare as faster than he did from his own dark past, or has the universe decided that now’s the time to pay the piper for all the ways he managed to screw up his life?

I probably should have known better than to expect a fun movie out of the most depressing filmmakers of our generation, but the trailers suckered me in with a silly premise and goofy characters in what looked like a lost Guy Ritchie joint, so I took the gamble on him lightening up for once. Sure enough, the finished product is undeniably an Aronofsky movie which means a lot of sad things happen, and frankly it was a real struggle to get through. What’s at least interesting about this movie, though also why it doesn’t work as well as some of his better films, is that he does seem to be trying to break outside his comfort zone with larger than life characters and the farcical plotting, but he’s simply ill-equipped for this kind of material and fails to merge it with his usual sensibilities. Someone like the aforementioned Guy Ritchie, or even Vince Gilligan, could have juggled the disparate parts of this story and wrangled them into something coherent, but they both have backgrounds in comedy which Aronofsky clearly does not. We flip wildly between tragedy and humor in a way that fails to take full advantage of either, with the darker elements feeling gratuitous and the lighter moments robbing our characters of any consistency or depth. Austin Butler, for all the charm and charisma he brings to this, can’t find a consistent emotional wavelength to explore because the script has him running from one plot point to another at breakneck speed. He’s given one scene to express his sadness over a bad thing happening before he’s back to spinning lies, crafting schemes, or cracking jokes, and while he’s good at all of those things, having him rush through it in such quick succession leaves him feeling rudderless and without much of an arc to go through. The script is based on a book which is always a double-edged sword for filmmakers, and I’m guessing the pacing between scenes worked much better on the page than trying to cram it all on screen, but even taking that into consideration, I still think the blame falls squarely on Aronofsky’s shoulders. I give the man credit for at least attempting to tell a few jokes and I think the narrative did cater to his sensibilities as a filmmaker, but he’s gonna need a little more practice before he can successfully make us laugh at a clown and then jab him in the throat to watch as the blood slowly pools around the floor.

3 out of 5
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Cinema Dispatch: The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants

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The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Derek Drymon

When the first SpongeBob movie came out, my grandma had to take me to see it because I was way too young to drive myself. That is how old this franchise is, which is an impressive feat in its own right, but with a quarter-century of episodes, spin-offs, streaming originals, and now four movies under its belt, well, let’s just say that it could easily start to resemble another series with yellow characters that hit its peak some time ago. Will this latest SpongeBob adventure be a delight for fans both old and new, or are we just running out the clock until Tom Kenny gets tired of doing that iconic laugh? Let’s find out!!

SpongeBob SquarePants (Tom Kenny), Bikini Bottom’s premiere fry cook and most eligible bachelor, is ready to become a proper Sponge-Man instead of a mere SpongeBob, but after hearing tall tales from his idol and boss Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown), he doesn’t feel confident that he has what it takes. Fortunately for him, The Flying Dutchman (Mark Hamill) hears his laments and offers him the opportunity of a lifetime!  Sail with him to the mysterious Underworld and face the challenges that await, with the promise of a Swashbuckler certificate at the end if he can prove himself.  With his best buddy Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke) at his side, he boards the ship, and they head to the mysterious lands below the deepest depths of the sea, but Mr. Krabs knows the Dutchman’s tricks and chases after him with Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) and Gary in tow.  What truly waits for SpongeBob at the end of this adventure with The Flying Dutchman, and are the consequences as dire as Mr. Krabs fears?  Can the friendship between SpongeBob and Patrick be enough to withstand whatever challenges they will face, or will the road to manhood finally be what tears these two apart?  Seriously, are we just never gonna get a Squidward movie?  Sandy got a movie, but not Squidward!?

“Talk to my agent, you yellow Philistine!”    “Okey-dokey, best buddy!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery and all the images you see in this review are owned by Netflix

Directed by Rian Johnson

The thing about the Knives Out series is that you never seem to get what you wanted going into it, and yet it still manages to come around to being a great movie. The first one revealed its mystery fairly early on but managed to have enough twists and turns to keep you guessing until the end, and while its sequel was a bit messier with an oddly underwhelming denouement for its own mystery, it’s a well-made Whodunit that worked even better for me on a second viewing. Rian Johnson is definitely doing something interesting with these Benoit Blanc mysteries, but can this latest entry in the series be yet another masterful take on the classic genre, or have the gimmicks gotten staler than the corpses Blanc is sent to investigate? Let’s find out!!

In a sleepy rural town somewhere in upstate New York, a young priest has been transferred in after an altercation with a deacon and is now under the watchful eye of Monsignor Wicks (Josh Brolin); an ornery man with a childish sense of humor and a teenage view on the world. His fire and brimstone sermons are a hit with his core fan base which includes the local church lady Martha (Glenn Close), the town doctor (Jeremy Renner), a conspiracy writer (Andrew Scott), a disabled violinist looking for a cure (Cailee Spaeny), and a mother and son who don’t get along (Kerry Washington and Daryl McCormack), but to the newly arrived Father Jed (Josh O’Connor), they seem to be alienating these people rather than helping the community. Still, at least it leaves the suspect count low when the Monsignor dies during the Good Friday service and Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is called in to investigate. All suspicions seem to land on poor Father Jed as he’s the only one who was not a fan of the Monsignor, and as evidence mounts against him, it’s up to Blanc to cut through the hysteria and histrionics to find the truth. Who is truly responsible for the death of Monsignor Wicks, and will the investigation uncover unsavory truths about him and this community? Can Blanc and Jed get along despite coming from such vastly different worlds, and what will this case reveal within both of them that neither wishes to face head on? Maybe the secret Jed wishes to hide is that he’s really good at playing Bad Cop when they start interviewing suspects.

“This here is Blanc. He’s your friend. I’m not, and if you don’t tell him who did it, I’ll make you recite SO many Hail Marys it will make your head spin! ARE WE CLEAR!?”
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Cinema Dispatch: The Running Man & Hamnet

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

We’re barreling towards the end of the year, and it seems to have come particularly quick this time around, so I’ll be trying to knock out a bunch of reviews before the end of year roundups, which means some odd pairings in my double-features as you can obviously tell from this one.  Then again, both of them are based on books, so I guess we can go with that as a connecting theme?  Yeah, that works.  So then! Looking at recent blockbusters from critically acclaimed directors that couldn’t be further apart from one another, do they show the best of their respective talents, or are they phoning it in for easy paychecks?  Let’s find out!!

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The Running Man

The Running Man is owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Edgar Wright

In a dystopian future where politics is entertainment and entertainment is the only game in town, Ben Richards (Glen Powell) is desperate to get his family out of the poorest area in the country and will go to any lengths to do so; including a reality TV show where every day citizens are obliged to kill the titular Running Man within thirty days as the doomed sad-sack slowly accrues money for how long he can go without getting popped in the head.  With an angry populace looking to take their frustrations out on whomever the TV says to, can Ben hope to survive long enough to save his family from the such a cruel world, or has the system ensured that he never had a chance to begin with?

The Running Man is one of those movies I can say with the utmost of confidence that I have seen before. Anything beyond that, well, I know Schwarzenegger is in it, but anytime I try to think of a scene from the movie, I realize I’m just remembering Total Recall, so no luck there. Still, I guess that makes it better fodder than most for a modern remake as I doubt any diehard fans of the original will be rending their garments in futile rage over every single change to the original, and the premise is definitely one that can be updated and adapted for any era; especially since it was already a modern take on The Most Dangerous Game. Now I don’t know if Edgar Wright had a burning desire to throw his name behind yet another of the hundred-billion remakes of eighties’ movies that are out there, but it’s clear he was given quite a bit of latitude to tell the story his way, and it was ultimately for the better even if audiences, once again, didn’t show up to one of his films. It’s certainly not as good as his original works, or even his adaptation of Scott Pilgrim, but a lesser filmmaker would have simply pumped up the action, dulled the social commentary, or both. In the hands of a skilled director, albeit one who really seems to be doing this for the paycheck, it manages to have a genuine spark of creativity with its well-executed premise and another killer performances from Glenn Powell. Making this movie a travelogue instead of a battleground was a masterstroke, and the sheer scope of the movie is darn near breathtaking; not because it has CGI vistas and otherworldly set pieces, but because it feels like it takes place in a big world that still has a connection with what we see in our own lives. It’s what the best sci-fi does; fits a speculative premise into something recognizably real and seeing how the premise twists our understanding of everything. When the action does kick in, it’s put together with interesting ideas rather than overblown execution, and while the budget feels a little high for what we get on screen, it ends up feeling as big as it needs to which allows the moments of explosive violence to actually have meaning and not just bleed into each other until it’s all just unengaging white noise. Where the film falters is in its tone, as it never quite finds the balance between its goofy social commentary and the more serious character moments. Some scenes are undercut by the comedy while other scenes are hard to take as seriously as they want us to, and this isn’t helped by some clunky character writing that leaves the supporting cast feeling rather flat. Thankfully, Glenn Powell picks up the slack with a great performance. He understands the fine line the movie is trying to balance on better than anyone else in front of, or even behind the camera, and it’s clear that this guy has a sharp eye for good material; even in otherwise conventional Hollywood Pablum. I suppose the best endorsement this movie could hope for is that it exceeded whatever expectations there were for a Running Man remake, which is, simultaneously, the least we should expect from an Edgar Wright movie.

4 out of 5
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Cinema Dispatch: Dust Bunny

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

 Dust Bunny and all the images you see in this review are owned by Lionsgate & Roadside Attractions

Directed by Bryan Fuller

It really isn’t that hard to sell me on a movie; in fact, I’m pretty easy to impress when you get right down to it. An interesting premise, a cast of good actors, and some sort of creative hook is all it takes to catch my attention, and few films this year grabbed me by the collar like this one. Heck, I didn’t even see a trailer for it, just one screenshot and a brief plot description, and yet that was all it took to get my butt into the theater for Bryan Fuller’s directorial debut! Does the movie live up to the sales pitch that so thoroughly drew me in, or are the coolest ideas all for naught if the filmmaker doesn’t know how to make the most of them? Let’s find out!!

As children, we all have to go through difficult life experiences as just another part of growing up. Getting bullied at school, learning to ride a bike without the training wheels, or in the case of Aurora (Sophie Sloan), dealing with the fact that your family was eaten by a monster under your bed. Okay, maybe it’s not the most relatable scenario to work through, but fortunately for Sophie, she just so happens to live across the hall from a hitman (Mads Mikkelsen) who’s very good at his job and might just have what it takes to stop this creature once and for all. It’s an uphill pitch for the hitman, to be sure, but when his own demons, albeit the less literal kind, start to bleed over into Aurora’s situation, he has no choice but to keep her safe from whatever monster is coming from under the floorboards or is knocking on her front door. Can Aurora be free from this monster once and for all with the help of her hitman buddy? What should a hitman do when confronted with such a fantastical story, and can someone with so much blood on his hands hope to protect a girl from those that wish her harm? I mean, given what he’s had to do his entire life, who’s to say which one of them has truly lost touch with reality?

“Sorry, ma’am. I just don’t have any openings in my schedule; isn’t that right Miss Clucky?”     “…”     “The chicken says yes.”
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Cinema Dispatch: Wicked: For Good

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Wicked: For Good and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures

Directed by Jon M Chu

When I reviewed the first one, I told myself I’d try to either see the stage production or, more likely, find time to read the book. Sadly, neither of these came to pass, and I was going into this as uninformed as I had been for the first one. Well, there was one thing different, and that’s the fact that I did see the first one and that I enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s certainly a high bar to set for a sequel, and as far as I was concerned, it already had a perfectly good conclusion to the story that didn’t require further elaboration. Still, the show must go on, and the intermission has come to an end long after everyone has had a chance to go to the bathroom. Will this be a brilliant culmination of everything that the first move set into motion, or did the story peak with Elphaba evolving into her final form? Let’s find out!!

The Land of Oz is in turmoil as the Wizard (Jeff Goldblum) and his magical spin doctor Madame Morrible (Michelle Yeoh) are pushing forth their plans to consolidate power by scapegoating the magical creatures of Oz, which includes literal goats, and the only one opposing them is the newly branded Wicked Witch of the West; the extremely powerful Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo) who halts their progress at every turn. Looking to bring the kingdom back together, the similarly branded Glinda the Good Witch (Ariana Grande) tries to find a way to bring Elphaba back to her side and broker peace between her and the Wizard, while keeping her sweet new title as the top witch in Oz. Such power, of course, is the stuff of dreams for someone like Glinda, but when those who gave it to her continue to push Elphaba further and further into a righteous crusade, it only becomes a matter of time before she has to decide what’s truly important to her and how much she’s willing to give up to protect it. Will Glinda prove a capable negotiator and find a way to bring peace to the land? Will Elphaba’s journey lead to Oz’s liberation from the wizard? Is their bond strong enough to overcome the distance between them, or is this a conflict that will only be settled in the ring!?

“This is MY movie! You already had yours!”     “There wouldn’t be ANY movie if it wasn’t for ME!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Frankenstein

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Frankenstein and all the images you see in this review are owned by Netflix

Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Frankenstein is really having a moment, isn’t he? And yes, I’m referring to both the scientist and the monster, as I still consider the latter to be A Frankenstein even if he’s not THE Frankenstein. Between Poor Things, Creature Commandos, and the upcoming Bride, the iconic tale of a man-made monster, or perhaps a monster-made man, has become an inescapable fixture of recent media. As such, someone was bound to take another swing at adapting the story itself, and who better to take on such a task than the modern-day king of monster movies, Guillermo del Toro? After all, his liberal interpretation of Creature from the Black Lagoon managed to win a few Oscars and is arguably one of the main reasons we’re seeing so many monster mashes as of late. Will this be another phenomenal entry in one of the medium’s greatest filmographies, or has Guillermo finally bitten off more than he can chew; akin to the maniacal doctor himself? Let’s find out!!

Out on the frozen tundra of the North Pole, a man is found by a ship and its crew; barely holding onto life and fearing something out on the ice sheet. With nothing better to do as this was before mobile phones and Game Boys, the captain insists on the man telling his story, and we learn that he is Victor Frankenstein (Oscar Isaac), a scientist who studied death and fought against the medical establishment to test his theories on bringing to life that which was already dead. Said recompiled and reanimated corpse (Jacob Elordi) is what’s hunting him out on the ice and the doctor tells us how it all went so wrong with a couple of subplots involving his brother William (Felix Kammerer) and his fiancée Elizabeth (Mia Goth) as well as her uncle (Christoph Waltz) who was funding Frankenstein’s experiments. How did Frankenstein pull off such a miracle that even God wouldn’t dare to do, and what did it cost him in the process? Just what is it that is driving the monster to chase down his creator, and is there more to his reasoning than simple barbaric terror? Considering how many Frankensteins there have been, from Colin Clive, Peter Cushing, and Kenneth Branagh, do you think the monster had any trouble finding the one he was specifically mad at?

“Fronk-in-steen? I swear, this is somehow worse than when the postal service sent me those Henry Frankenstein letters.”
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Cinema Dispatch: Predator: Badlands

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Predator: Badlands and all the images you see in this review are owned by 20th Century Studios

Directed by Dan Trachtenberg

The Predator franchise may not have an entry as critically acclaimed as the original Alien, but its track record is far stronger than that of the Xenomorphs who have, at best, three good movies and a decent TV show after all is said and done. Predator, meanwhile, managed to claw itself back from the brink of irrelevance after the atrocious 2018 film with solid features like Prey from 2022 and that animated thing on Hulu that people seem to have liked. Now it’s time for Disney to double down on the franchise with a big sci-fi action movie focusing on the Predator itself instead of whoever is caught in its crosshairs. Can The Predator carry a movie all by itself on its muscular shoulders, or will this fall flatter than Shane Black’s messy reinvention of the character? Let’s find out!!

Somewhere out in space, there is a planet of aliens who like to hunt. Presumably, they do other things, but for the most part they’re either hunting or training for the next hunt; as is the case with Dek (Dimitrius Schuster-Koloamatangi) who may be a bit scrawnier than his big burly dad (Reuben De Jong) and his equally burly brother (Mike Homik), but he’s confident that chasing down the most dangerous of creature in the galaxy and returning with its skull will make him a man in the eyes of his people. It becomes clear, however, that he may be in over his head when literally everything on the planet tries to eat him; all except for a cute little alien creature (Rohinal Narayan) and half a synthetic named Thia (Elle Fanning) who got separated from her bottom half by the very creature that Dek is trying to hunt down. Perhaps a few erstwhile allies will make this hunt go a bit smoother, but little does Dek know that the real danger he will face on this planet comes from the most dangerous game of all as the Weyland-Yutani Corporation have their own sinister agenda for everyone involved in Dek’s quest. Will Dek become a true Predator by the standards of his people and return in glory and triumph? What are the Weyland-Yutani thugs after on this planet, and is Thia being truthful about her role in all of this? Are you sure you don’t just wanna pop over to Earth and grab a human for your big Manhood-Hunt? I mean, there’s always a chance you’ll run into a Schwarzenegger down there, but the odds are much better there than they are on this planet!

“Perhaps he will submit if I beat him in a staring contest…”
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Cinema Dispatch: Black Phone 2

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Black Phone 2 and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures

Directed by Scott Derrickson

Black Phone is another one of those movies where I thought I’d published a review for it, only to find out that it doesn’t exist. I remember watching it fairly close to its release date and was rather impressed with its sharp writing and interesting premise, but maybe I got distracted by something like that Beavis and Butthead movie and never got around to putting my thoughts on the word processor. In any case, it’s time for the inevitable sequel as any horror movie that makes money is guaranteed to get, but what raised my interest for this one is that everyone came back for it, not just the stars but the writer and director, and the trailers that looked to take things in a wildly different direction. With so much in this movie’s favor, can this be one of the few horror sequels to surpass the original, or was there only enough juice in that lemon to wring out one good story? Let’s find out!!

After surviving his kidnapping from The Grabber (Ethan Hawke), young Finney (Mason Thames) is still trying to process what had happened to him, which isn’t helped by the dead periodically contacting him for help and dredging up those old memories. His sister Gwen (Madeleine McGraw), however, proves to be much more proactive on this issue, though that probably has to do with the fact that she’s having nightmares about murder victims every night that are pointing her to an old Christian Youth Camp that her mother once attended when she was their age. Not wanting her sister to be defenseless for whatever it is that’s waiting at the camp, Finnney goes along with her and their friend Ernesto (Miguel Mora) to investigate whatever mystery has brought them there in the first place. It doesn’t take long for The Grabber, whatever he may be this long after his death, to make his presence known and to start taking his revenge against the two of them. Why is The Grabber’s spirit so strong at this camp, and what can these two siblings hope to accomplish by putting themselves right at his doorstep? Are the mysterious ghosts that brought them here looking for help from the living, or are they just pawns in The Grabber’s machinations? It’s a good thing this camp just happens to have a payphone by the lake; otherwise they’d have to call this something else!

“Maybe the REAL black phone was the friends we made along the way.”     “Shut up, you mask wearing dick-weed!”
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