Cinema Dispatch: The Toxic Avenger

The Toxic Avenger and all the images you see in this review are owned by Cineverse and Troma Entertainment

Directed by Macon Blair

I’m not always sure what to make of Troma. Some of their movies have been genuinely artistic efforts with an iconoclastic edge, but then others are cheap garbage with retrograde ideas of humor and wit. It was, and presumably still is, a great breeding ground for up-and-coming talent, and they’ve stuck around long enough for a mythology to be built around them that can justify a big budgeted goofy remake of their most iconic film. Will this attempt at modernizing low-rent Gen-X trash appeal to the TikTok generation, or is it another failed attempt to get the youngsters to appreciate our nostalgic garbage? Let’s find out!!

Life in Tromaville is not for the faint of heart; especially given how crappy the health insurance is. No one knows this more than Winston Gooze (Peter Dinklage) who works a janitor for the terrifying chemical conglomerate that runs the town with an iron fist. There are those in town that oppose the company, namely the whistleblower JJ Doherty (Taylour Paige) who is trying to get the word out about their evil deeds, but Winston isn’t one of those people as he has a stepson (Jacob Tremblay) to take care of and can’t stick his neck out lest he lose what little he still has. Still, circumstances push him to take desperate actions to try and salvage his meager little life, and he’s shot dead before being dumped in a pit of goo for his troubles. Said goo, however, turns out to be the kind that grants superpowers and mutates him into a hideous monster with super strength, super healing, and a radioactive mop to fight bad guys with. The town begins to celebrate this new hero of justice, but he still has a son to look after, and his exploits catch the attention of his former employer, who sees dollar signs in his unique genetic makeup that has given him such a mighty mutation. Can Winston be both a fighter for justice and a responsible father, or are the pressures of living two lives more than even a super-heroic mutated monstrosity can handle? Can JJ bring down this evil corporation with the secrets she’s working to reveal, or are they too big to fail, especially if they get their hands on Winston’s DNA? Seriously, how did they manage to get Peter Dinklage in this? I doubt Troma has Nick Cage money, let alone Dinklage bucks!

“Wait, TOXIC Avenger? This isn’t the next Marvel movie? NOOOOOO!!”
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: The Toxic Avenger”

Cinema Dispatch: War of the Rohirrim & Conclave

The Holiday season is usually a busy time for me, but this year was a little more difficult than most to keep up with everything that was coming out. Thankfully, I got a chance to see two of the more interesting movies that made it to theaters, so we’ll take a look at those now before we inevitably get to Nosferatu and Sonic 3 to close the year out. Are these December releases worth taking time out of your busy holiday schedule to take a break and enjoy? Let’s find out!!

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The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim is owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by Kenji Kamiyama

Long before Bilbo Baggins had his fateful run-in with the Ring of Power, the world of Middle Earth was rife with conflict among its nobility. King Hammerhand of Rohan (Brian Cox) may be a strong leader, but his temper gets the best of him and he makes a powerful enemy of one of his lords; the young Wulf (Luke Pasqualino) whose father was struck down in a fight with the king. With a war seemingly inevitable as Wulf gains the favor of the Wild Men, the children of Hammerhand which includes his sons Hama and Haleth (Yazdan Qafouri and Benjamin Wainwright), as well as his daughter Héra (Gaia Wise), will have to summon their courage, their wits, and their leadership in order to prevent Wulf from taking Rohan for himself. As the army of the Wild Men grows stronger and the Rohan citizens must retreat to a nearby stronghold, is there any hope of victory for Héra and her family?

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was a monumental achievement in filmmaking, and while they may not be my favorite films, I have a deep respect for what Peter Jackson was able to accomplish in bringing these books to the big screen. Since then, however, no one has been able to capture that lightning again; least of all Peter Jackson himself, whose Hobbit movies are pale imitators of his earlier work. Sadly, that trend continues as this movie is an admirable, but ultimately banal effort to bring the world of Middle Earth to life once again. We can go into the dull narrative, the stagnant pacing, and the cast of forgettable characters, but what it truly lacks is an identity of its own; a sense of personality that defines it as a unique adaptation of the source material. Say what you will about the previous animated efforts from Ralph Bakshi and Rankin Bass, they were incredibly distinct and had some impressive highs as well as some genuinely entertaining lows. This never escapes being a middle of the road effort; too stiff and clean to have fun with it or be spontaneously bizarre. As much as we now think of Jackson’s vision of the books as the definitive interpretation of Tolkien’s work, the man brought his own eclectic and grungy style to the movies, and while they may not be as unhinged as Bad Taste or Meet the Feebles, the work he did on those movies were an undeniable influence. Here, I just don’t feel that sense of spirit emanating from the stock characters and trite plot. The story of revenge lacks any teeth given the simplicity of our antagonist and the surprisingly small scale of the action which tries to convince you it’s an all-out war when, at best, it feels like a minor skirmish. I suppose if the action is small scale then the intent was for this to be a more intimate and personal account, but there’s just not enough depth to any of the cast for that to be the case; least of all our protagonist Héra who has little agency of her own. There are no flaws from within for her to overcome, as she simply needs to fulfill a destiny once she’s had enough tragedy thrust upon her. It has its moments to be sure, especially when the action kicks in, and it feels free to let loose, but those are the punctuations to the narrative while the meat of it is far too lifeless to hold up its somber tone. With so much of it polished to a mirror shine, it never sinks so low as to be obnoxious or off-putting, and definitely makes for a better time than Jackson’s Hobbit movies. I appreciate the immense amount of effort that went into this, and I’m impressed that there was enough faith behind it to put it in theaters, as the big screen is where animation will shine brightest. Even so, I can only recommend it to the most dedicated of Tolkien fans who don’t mind a tedious story if it means spending a little more time in this world. For me, I’ll stick to watching the Leonard Nimoy sing The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins over and over again.

2.5 out of 5
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: War of the Rohirrim & Conclave”