The John Wick films may have kicked the door wide open, but it’s almost a tradition in Hollywood for actors of a certain age to try their hand at shlocky action to prove that they’ve still got it as a box office draw while showing off how well they can kick stuntmen and fall off of things. Sometimes it works out like the aforementioned John Wick, but other times it can come off as a little desperate to show off. Heck, I’m pretty sure Tom Cruise’s midlife crisis started when he was thirty and still hasn’t ended to this day. In any case, we’re here to look at two recent examples of this tried and true premise, and perhaps learn a little something along the way; maybe even how to throw a halfway convincing punch without breaking a hip. Let’s get started!!
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Nobody 2
Nobody 2 is owned by Universal Pictures
Directed by Timo Tjahjanto
It seems that good ol’ Hutch (Bob Odenkirk) still can’t catch a break as the events of the last film have pulled him back into the life he had left long ago; only this time he has a massive debt on his shoulders that he needs to pay off or else the mob will kill him and his family. With all this pressure putting a strain on his family, especially his wife Becca (Connie Nielson), maybe it’s time to unwind and take a trip down memory lane. Returning to the little town he visited on vacation in his youth, Hutch hopes to mend the rifts and build some bridges with his family, but trouble always seems to find him wherever he goes, and he winds up yet again using his fists to solve his problems. Will this be the last straw that tears his family apart, or will uncovering the dark secrets of this town bring them all closer than they’ve ever been before?
You do this long enough, and you start to pick up on a few red flags to let you know if a movie is not worth seeing. Making a sequel to Nobody was already a shaky proposition before they turned it into a vacation movie, and the end result is as bad as you’d expect from looking at the poster; worse, in fact, as tourist trap they went to in the movie doesn’t look nearly as nice as that giant pool and shrubbery would imply. It really shouldn’t be that hard to make a movie like this work, as we have a likable lead and a decent stunt crew, but no amount of bad guys flopping around in the action scenes can make up for how uninvolved the story ends up being. The repressed rage that our hero was scared to unleash has been replaced with a very boring heroic streak that gets him in trouble for the least interesting reasons possible against the least threatening crop of country yokels and B-List actors that money can buy. You’ll search in vain for anything that can grab your attention as the film drags itself through its unengaging plot with action that’s barely passable compared to its peers, and there’s simply no attempt to make this about anything more than the middle-aged fantasy of righteously kicking ass and taking names. The first one managed to squeak by on the strength of Odenkirk’s everyman performance and the surprising intensity of the action, but whatever inspiration was there the first time around seems to have long since evaporated and has been replaced with an obnoxious streak of self-aware humor with over the top villains and goofy scenarios that are presumably there to elicit chuckles but ultimately lead to groans and exasperation. At best, it might be worth gawking at to see veteran actors like Christopher Lloyd and Sharon Stone mug at the camera during what little screen time they have, but that’s the most sizzle you’re getting in this steak as it plods along without much tension or wit to speak of. As I said at the start, there’s a market for this kind of unchallenging action shlock starring famous dudes that everyone’s dad is aware of, and if Odenkirk wants to keep cranking these out, then more power to him; but the novelty has worn off and the returns are quickly diminishing as it sinks into its niche of middle-of-the-road Pablum.
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