Tag: Osgood Perkins

Cinema Dispatch: The Monkey

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

The Monkey and all the images you see in this review are owned by Neon

Directed by Osgood Perkins

There have been many times that I’ve found myself on the wrong side of history when it comes to movies I’ve reviewed, and while I’m more than happy to like movies that others overlooked, it’s less fun when you’re the one person who just didn’t get a critically acclaimed masterpiece. That’s why I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the trailers for this movie, as Osgood’s last few films didn’t really hit the mark for me and this looked like an easy layup for my goofy sensibilities. Will this horror comedy finally bring me onboard the Osgood Perkins train, or will this be a bigger train wreck than that time he starred in Quigley? Let’s find out!!

As young children, brothers Hal and Bill (Christian Convery) find a mysterious monkey figurine that once belonged to their deadbeat dad. Of course, since this is based on a Stephen King story, the Monkey is no mere toy but a harbinger of doom who brings about gruesome and hilarious death whenever its key is turned and its drums are played. After taking the lives of people they care about, they finally dispose of it in a well and go on about their broken lives for thirty-odd years before it mysteriously reappears, which prompts Bill to call Hall as estranged adults (Theo James) and tell him to get rid of it once and for all. Of course, life hasn’t been all that great for Hal, who’s become a deadbeat dad himself and now needs to spend his last week of custody with his son (Colin O’Brien) finding this toy and dealing with it before it kills everyone in their old hometown. Will Hal mend his relationship with both his son and his brother before the Monkey takes them away from him too? What monstrous force is behind the Monkey’s power, and is there more to be afraid of than just a simple toy? I’ll say this for the little guy; his penchant for unexpected and gory demises certainly gives those Final Destination films a run for their money!

“UGH! All over my glasses!?”
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: The Monkey” →

Cinema Dispatch: Longlegs

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Longlegs and all the images you see in this review are owned by Neon

Directed by Osgood Perkins

I don’t want to bring up the box office every time I write a review these days, but it seems that the only reliably bankable genres are now kid’s movies and horror films. Horror has always had a leg up in theaters since they are cheap to produce and easy to sell to audiences looking for a thrill, but the genre has had some truly remarkable entries the last few years and I wouldn’t be surprised if it eventually gets enough momentum, both critically and financially, to start getting a few nods from the famously stuffy Academy. Is this latest effort from Osgood Perkins another feather in the genre’s cap, or does this fail to stand out among its bigger and better peers? Let’s find out!!

Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) is unassuming and soft-spoken, but she manages to stand out among her peers at the FBI with an uncanny intuition about the murders they are chasing, and while she doesn’t get assigned to the X-Files to be Mulder’s new partner, she does get assigned to a case involving the brutal murder of nearly a dozen families by the enigmatic killer known simply as Longlegs (Nicolas Cage) who always leaves a note but never seems to be there for the crime itself. She starts to connect the dots on a few of the murders which leaves her supervisor Carter (Blair Underwood) both impressed and skeptical, but things take a dark turn when Longlegs contacts her directly with clues that only hasten the investigation but bring her closer to him and whatever mysterious plans he has for her. As the evidence starts to point towards yet another massacre of a family, can Lee uncover the mystery in time to save Longlegs’ next victims from their terrible fate? What is driving this man to kill in such horrific ways, and is there more to this case than what science and evidence can point to? Seriously, who did Lee tick off to get stuck with this weirdo killer? Even Clarice had an easier time on her first assignment!

“’Join the FBI’ they said. ‘Silence of the Lambs is just a movie’ they said…”
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: Longlegs” →

Cinema Dispatch: Nope

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Nope and all the images you see in this review are owned by Universal Pictures

Directed by Jordan Peele

Very recently I’ve started watching Key & Peele in earnest as I had seen little more than clips online in the past, and frankly, it’s not all that surprising that at least one of them became a horror director. The duo made some very funny stuff, but there are also quite a few sketches throughout the show that not only have a sinister edge to them but almost feel like precursors to Jordan Peele’s first feature Get Out. Now he has two wildly successful features under his belt and much like M Night Shyamalan when he was in that position, his next move is to go for a spooky movie about aliens, or at least the general idea of them as the marketing has done a very good job covering up the true nature of whatever is going on here. Does this updated take on the classic sci-fi genre prove to be as groundbreaking as Peele’s previous films, or is even the best of filmmakers unable to escape the occasional dud? Let’s find out!!

OJ Haywood and his sister Em (Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer) are left running their father’s horse ranch after an unexpected (and unexplained) accident took his life only a few months prior. Now Papa Haywood (Keith David) ran Hayood’s Hollywood Horse Ranch like a true professional as he took great care of the horses and worked well with the production studios, but unfortunately, his kids aren’t exactly filling his shoes with Em having the personality but not the business sense and OJ working great with horses but not with other people. The only thing keeping them afloat is selling horses one after another to the local rodeo owned by former child star Ricky Park (Steven Yeun), but that’s only going to last for so long before they will surely need to sell their father’s ranch and his legacy off to whoever will throw a few dollars their way. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, there seems to be this strange thing in the sky that will occasionally pass soundlessly through the air in the middle of the night and has some sort of effect on electronic equipment which can only mean one thing; aliens, and therefore opportunity! Em is gung ho about capturing some fantastic footage of this mysterious spacecraft on film and selling it to the highest bidder, and OJ is just kinda going along with it since there isn’t much more they can do to save the ranch, so with the help of a local electronics store clerk (Brandon Perea) they set up a series of cameras around the ranch hope to get a once in a lifetime shot that will put Haywood’s Hollywood Horses back in the spotlight! What is this mysterious thing in the night sky that Em and OJ hope to capture on film, and can they do it without drawing its attention; or wrath? What is it doing here in the first place, and are the Haywood’s the only ones trying to catch a glimpse of it? Seriously, with the way things have been going lately, how much are they really gonna get for alien footage? It’s not like there won’t be another dozen or so terrifying news stories the next day!

“If we can sandwich the release between the end of the January Sixth hearings and the latest news from climate scientists, we may have a solid six hours on Twitter’s Trending topics!”     “And that turns into money, how?”     “That comes when they make the docu-series on Netflix.”
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: Nope” →