Cinema Dispatch: Thunderbolts*

Thunderbolts* and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Jake Schreier

I’ll say this about the Marvel movies. The Superhero Fatigue that everyone brings up is definitely overblown, but there is something a little soulless about the assembly line nature of their productions, and if Phase 5 can be said to have any significant flaw, it really took the shine off of the artistic side of things, as no one seems to have been benefitting from their involvement in them. Perhaps this is why Sinners, which I will be reviewing very soon, has been such a breath of fresh air for critics and audiences alike who are looking for something beyond the movie itself to root for; a story to tell that isn’t just a giant corporation hiring good artists to make perfectly fine products over and over again. Still, it’s hard to argue that the system hasn’t been working just fine for Marvel, and while I don’t know who Jake Schreier is beyond the solid reputation of Robot & Frank, I’m always interested to see what a filmmaker like this can do on the Mouse House’s dime. Is this another great entry in the MCU’s already impressive catalog, or are they desperately scrapping the bottom of the barrel to keep this machine going? Let’s find out!!

It seems that Disney is not the only one who misses the halcyon days of the original Avengers as everyone in the MCU is desperately trying to make that lightning strike twice; none more so than Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) whose company OXE Group has been putting superhero rejects on their payroll and performing secret experiments too horrific to describe. With congress on her heels, no doubt encouraged by the junior congressman Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Valentina needs to wipe the slate clean by destroying all evidence and any witnesses to her crimes which include Black Widow’s sister Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh), US Agent John Walker (Wyatt Russell), Taskmaster (Olga Kurylenko), and Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen); all of whom have done wet work for her and are eminently disposable in her eyes. Things don’t go as planned, however, as these castoffs find just enough common ground to try and work together to stop Valentina and whatever sinister plot she has up her sleeves. What secrets is she so desperate to hide, and do they involve a mysterious guy named Bob (Lewis Pullman), whose presence is a mystery even to himself? What convinced these B-list superheroes to work for such an obvious jerk anyway, and could Yelena’s father The Red Guardian (David Harbour) show them the proper path to being true heroes? Is the whole Losers as Superheroes trope a bit played out at this point, or is it just a sign of the times that our generation relate to losers more than anyone else?

“As they say in the old country, the bootstraps are mightier than the sword!”     “Shut up, dad.”
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Cinema Dispatch: Black Widow

Black Widow and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Cate Shortland

Wow, 2020 feels like a million years ago doesn’t it?  Not only that, it seems that spy movies were in vogue as not only this movie but The King’s Man and the new James Bond movie were set to come out before finding out the one thing you can’t stealthy murder your way around is a global pandemic.  Thankfully things are starting to clear up (though the pandemic is by no means over, GET VACCINATED!) and some of those 2020 holdovers are making their way to theaters.  We already got Fast 9 and Spiral, s s turn to save movie theaters with their latest billion dollar blockbuster!  Is this spin-off film for one of o now it’s Marvel’ the MCU’s most iconic characters the true start to the next wave of Marvel movies, or is did it miss its chance when the world turned upside down last year?  Let’s find out!!

Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) is on the run after the events of Captain America: Civil War and is laying low in a trailer somewhere when she gets a message from her long lost spy-sister containing vials of some mysterious substance.  She is immediately attacked by a mysterious person in a mechanical suit with a skull painted on the faceplate, and so she goes to see her sister Yelena (Florence Pugh) who first tries to punch her a bunch of times before revealing that the vials are some sort of antidote for a mind control drug that the current crop of Black Widows are injected with; including herself who is only free now after a botched operation that her a face full of the anti-puppet juice.  With Yelena now free and Natasha having nothing better to do, the two of them start working together to bring down General Dreykov (Ray Winstone), the scumbag leader of the Black Widows who is now coming after them.  To find Dreykov though, they will need the help of their spy-dad Alexei (David Harbour) who was once the Red Guardian (the Captain America equivalent for the Soviet Union) and is now wasting away in prison, as well as the help of their spy-mom Melina (Rachel Weisz) who was a Black Widow herself and still has contacts with the organization.  Can this awkward family reunion get Natasha and Yelena the information they need to save the women under Dreykov’s control and end the program once and for all?  Will their spy-parents help them on their journey or will they be a bunch of Boomers about it and question why they feel so entitled to not being mind-slaved by the state?  How much is Marvel regretting their decision to end Black Widow’s story in Endgame, and how big of a sales pitch did they give to Florence Pugh?

“I’m telling ya, sis.  Four movies MINIMUM that will all make over five hundred million at the box office!”     “I’ll think about it, but no promises.”
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