Tag Archives: Nickelodeon

Cinema Dispatch: Monster Trucks

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Monster Trucks and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Chris Wedge

Like alien crop circles and the Loch Ness Monster, this movie about trucks and the monsters that inhabit them remained a legend as the story behind it was ludicrous (some executive’s kid came up with the idea) and the release date kept being pushed back.  The day has finally come however for theaters to finally keep this around for maybe a week or two before it disappears forever and everyone forgets that they spent over a hundred million dollars on it.  Well, maybe that’s a bit harsh.  A troubled development doesn’t NECESSARILY mean the final product is going to be a mess, and maybe it will work better for the target audience than people give it credit for!  Will this be a film that lives up to the legend around it, or is this the last chapter in a long tale of infamy?  Let’s find out!!

The movie begins with some oil baron with a REALLY bad accent, Reece Tenneson (Rob Lowe) digging for that sweet bubbling crude right in the heart of Dakota, but they manage to hit something else instead.  Three monsters come out of the hole they drilled, and while they aren’t quite the heraldersof Cthulhu that you would expect from monsters that rise up from the Earth’s core, they still are gumming up the works for Reece’s operation.  Therefore, he orders all his hired goons which includes the head goon Burke (Holt McCallany) and The ScientistTM Dr. Dowd (Thomas Lennon) to round these creatures up and… do something with them.  One manages to escape however and finds its way to a junk yard MANY miles away where supposed high school student Tripp (Lucas Till) works at all the time; even on school nights.  He finds the creature and eventually finds that he JUST SO HAPPENS to like hanging out inside of his truck, so he modifies the it for his new monster buddy who he calls Creech to surreptitiously drive it with his Monster Magic.  Of course, things can’t quite go the way he wants them to as Burke is out there looking for the monster, his step dad Sheriff Rick (Barry Pepper) is already pissed at him for… reasons, and will probably do… something, and Reece is HELL BENT on killing all these monsters so he can get to the oil beneath… even though discovering monsters would probably net him just as much cash.  Can Tripp and Creech, along with the extraneous love interest Meredith (Jane Levy), save these monsters from the evil Rob Lowe?  What kind of hi-jinks and mischief, as well as felonies, can this lovable crew get involved with in the process?  Did Paramount REALLY have to sink a hundred million into this!?

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See, they had to spend EXTRA money to make a good truck look crappy!

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Cinema Dispatch: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Dave Green

The first Bay-Turtles movie was pretty damn awful.  Maybe not as bad as the WORST Transformers film, but certainly no better than the arguably best one (Marky Mark for the win).  With this one though, there seems to be a conscious effort to integrate more of what people ACTUALLY liked about the cartoon and incorporate it into the Bay-Turtles universe, so maybe a middle ground can be struck here between big budget extravagance and nostalgic sincerity.  Does this manage to AT least be better than the first one?  Let’s find out!!

The movie picks up some time after the first one with the Turtles (Noel Fisher, Jeremy Howard, Pete Ploszek, and Alan Ritchson) continuing their hero shtick in the shadows while Vernon (Will Arnet) is taking all the credit for defeating Shredder (now Brian Tee instead of Tohoru Masamune) and putting him in Jail.  Eric Sacks by the way is not even mentioned here.  At first they made him NOT The Shredder, and now they’ve retconned him out of existence!  The turtles are restless about all the lack of kudos they get or kicking so much ass, but those concerns will be secondary soon enough as Shredder escapes jail with the help of Super Nerd Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry) and recruits two new soldiers in his army in the form of Bebop and Rocksteady (Gary Anthony Williams and Stephen Farrelly AKA Sheamus) so that they can build a teleporter device that will bring Krang (Brad Garrett) and The Technodrome into our world.  Oh, and I’m pretty sure April O’Neil (Megan Fox) is around doing something.  So is Casey Jones (Stephen Amell).  ANYWAY!  Can the turtles stop Shredder from his latest evil schemes?  Will they do as the title says and come out of the shadows to stop this latest threat?  Seriously, how much longer before they do a crossover?

 

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“Can you say… CHA-CHING!?”     “COWABUNGA DUDE!!”

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