Cinema Dispatch: Weapons

Weapons and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros. Pictures

Directed by Zach Cregger

I went ahead and checked my backlog of reviews, and it turns out that I didn’t actually post a review of Barbarian when it came out. It’s strange because I remember seeing it in the theaters, and I’m pretty sure I started writing something, but clearly it fell through the cracks and I just never got around to it; a fate that will probably be shared by both Companion and Novocain this year. Sorry, Jack Quaid. In any case, I thought the movie was a very solid first outing for a budding horror filmmaker. Cregger was certainly no Jordan Peele when it comes to sketch comedians making scary movies, but there was plenty to like in that movie and, I was interested to see where he would go from there. His latest movie is generating the kind of buzz that you would expect from a Jordan Peele level filmmaker, which certainly has me excited to see what the former Whitest Kids You Know member has up his sleeve this time. Are we witnessing the evolution of another horror icon, or will Cregger’s latest outing be an also-ran in a genre that has an overabundance of talented filmmakers already? Let’s find out!!

In the small town of Maybrook, not unlike your own hometown, a mysterious thing happened one night. At 2:17am, seventeen kids mysteriously got out of their beds and did the Naruto run into the darkness of the night. What’s more peculiar is that they all came from a single classroom at the local elementary school, leaving just one kid who didn’t run away named Alex (Cary Christopher), and the teacher Justine (Julia Garner). With such a bizarre thing to happen and with no explanation to be found, the town became very suspicious of Justine even after the police and FBI cleared her of all wrongdoing. Leading the charge is Archer (Josh Brolin), the father of one of the lost kids, but he’s only the tip of the iceberg as Justine is scrutinized at every turn and even gets put on administrative leave from the school as the principal (Benedict Wong) feels her presence would just escalate tensions further, but nothing is going to keep her or this community safe until someone figures out what’s going on. Where did these kids go, and what drove them there in the first place? Will Justine find the answers before she becomes a victim of the town’s grief and growing madness? You know, teachers are already under constant scrutiny as it is, and they certainly don’t need something like this on their shoulders!

“All I wanted was to teach the kids to finger paint, but no! I had to teach the GHOST CLASS!”
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: Weapons”

Cinema Dispatch: The Fantastic Four: First Steps

The Fantastic Four: First Steps and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Matt Shakman

What is it about The Fantastic Four that has made it both enduring enough to now be on its second reboot, third if we count the Roger Corman film, and yet so difficult to get right, which, again, if we count the Roger Corman film, hasn’t had a good entry since 1994? I suppose the fact that they were the first superhero team from Marvel Comics gives them a certain gravitas, similar to how Superman is treated over at DC, so it’s rather fitting that both movies are coming out so close to each other with similar expectations behind them. Superman has certainly put Marvel in an interesting position with their one time collaborator James Gunn making a strong case for their side to take the Superhero movie crown, and on top of that, this is serving as the launching point for what will hopefully be a much more successful and confident phase of the two-decade old MCU. Will the fourth time be the charm for Jack Kirby and Stan Lee’s signature creation, or is this movie stretched far too thin for even Mr. Fantastic to hold it together? Let’s find out!!

You know them! You love them! They make the world a better place every day! Well, at least in their world, Earth-828, but regardless, the Fantastic Four are here to defend us all! Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Ben Grimm, and Johnny Storm (Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, and Joseph Quinn) have certainly made the most of their celebrity status after gaining unique powers from cosmic rays, and things are only looking brighter when Sue learns that she is pregnant with Reed’s child. It’s too bad that all this good news is swiftly followed with a herald from the furthest stars of the galaxy (Julia Garner) proclaiming the incoming demise of this planet at the hand of Galactus (Ralph Ineson); a cosmic being that will surely grind these four heroes into one pile of super-dust. Clearly this problem is going to take more than just stretchy powers, invisible powers, fire powers, and rock powers, to overcome, but even putting their massive brains together may not be enough to stop the literal end of the world. With so much at stake and a baby on the way, can our foursome of fearsome scientists live up to the pedestal that the world has put them on? Does Galactus have more than just a thirst for destruction that is driving him to target this planet specifically? Maybe if the rock guy punches him really hard, it will be enough to destroy Galactus! Either that, or find a way to make him swallow the fire guy.

“I can try throwing the car at him.”     “And what, give him a nosebleed if we’re lucky?”
Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: The Fantastic Four: First Steps”