You know what?  ENOUGH with these lousy horror films by no name directors!  I’m tired of this new-fangled independent crap, or these massively overproduced snore fests!  Give me a movie made by a director who KNOWS what the hell he’s doing!!  What’s that?  Dario Argento made a Dracula film a few years ago?  Well what the hell are we waiting for!?  With a director THAT good, it has to be amazing… right?  I mean, I guess it COULD be a piece of crap by an aging film maker who’s still trying to hack it long after his creative spark has dissipated, but that’s not even a REMOTE possibility… right?  Well there’s only one way for you to find out which one it is, and that’s to keep on reading!!

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