Tag: Arturo Castro

Cinema Dispatch: The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures

Directed by Derek Drymon

When the first SpongeBob movie came out, my grandma had to take me to see it because I was way too young to drive myself. That is how old this franchise is, which is an impressive feat in its own right, but with a quarter-century of episodes, spin-offs, streaming originals, and now four movies under its belt, well, let’s just say that it could easily start to resemble another series with yellow characters that hit its peak some time ago. Will this latest SpongeBob adventure be a delight for fans both old and new, or are we just running out the clock until Tom Kenny gets tired of doing that iconic laugh? Let’s find out!!

SpongeBob SquarePants (Tom Kenny), Bikini Bottom’s premiere fry cook and most eligible bachelor, is ready to become a proper Sponge-Man instead of a mere SpongeBob, but after hearing tall tales from his idol and boss Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown), he doesn’t feel confident that he has what it takes. Fortunately for him, The Flying Dutchman (Mark Hamill) hears his laments and offers him the opportunity of a lifetime!  Sail with him to the mysterious Underworld and face the challenges that await, with the promise of a Swashbuckler certificate at the end if he can prove himself.  With his best buddy Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke) at his side, he boards the ship, and they head to the mysterious lands below the deepest depths of the sea, but Mr. Krabs knows the Dutchman’s tricks and chases after him with Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) and Gary in tow.  What truly waits for SpongeBob at the end of this adventure with The Flying Dutchman, and are the consequences as dire as Mr. Krabs fears?  Can the friendship between SpongeBob and Patrick be enough to withstand whatever challenges they will face, or will the road to manhood finally be what tears these two apart?  Seriously, are we just never gonna get a Squidward movie?  Sandy got a movie, but not Squidward!?

“Talk to my agent, you yellow Philistine!”    “Okey-dokey, best buddy!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Road House

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

Road House and all the images you see in this review are owned by Amazon MGM Studios

Directed by Doug Liman

There are a lot of movies that I still need to catch up on, but I never thought the original Road House was necessarily one of them. It had the vibe of something that was a clear product of its time, and with so many amazing action movies since then, I was pretty confident that I hadn’t missed out on much. Perhaps that makes me the target audience for this remake, which certainly looked impressive from the trailers, and I’m always happy to see follow Jake Gyllenhaal to whatever wacky project he signs onto. Is this the update to an eighties classic that both fans and newcomers can love, or will this be another soulless cash grab for those nostalgic bucks? Heck, we already got a crappy Point Blank remake, so why not a lousy Road House one too? Let’s find out!!

In the Florida Keys, there is a bar that is being besieged by drunks and punks who like to get belligerent and tear up the place. If the owner (Jessica Williams) wants to keep the bar from collapsing, both financially and literally, she’s gonna need someone to deescalate situations and put a hurt on anybody who takes things too far. What better person for that role than a down on his luck UFC fighter named Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) who’s good at breaking arms but can’t mend the pain in his soul! Still, a few weeks on sunny beaches drinking coffee and tossing out drunks couldn’t hurt, right? Well, it turns out that there are more than just a few boozehounds trying to take down the bar, and what should have been a period of self-care for the man turns into the greatest challenge of his life. Can Dalton keep the peace in this small town despite being an outsider? Who is behind these vicious attacks on the bar, and what’s waiting in the wings if they can’t get the job done? Imagine being this cool while ALSO having starred in Bubble Boy!

“Go ahead. Call me Jimmy one more time.”
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