One Piece the live-action series is owned by Netflix
Directed by Tim Southam
The two-episode arc we just finished did start to show a few flaws in the formula as it strains to fit as much as it can into this first season, but I’m still very optimistic about this show and where things are heading. After all, we’re only four crew members in and Sanji was always a favorite of mine back when I watched the anime which gives me a lot of hope that they can pull him off in this. Will this be a better introduction to a crew member than we got for Usopp, or will this show ultimately buckle under the weight of the franchise’s lore? Let’s find out!!
With the Black Cat pirates roundly defeated and a brand new ship as their reward, Luffy and the Straw Hats set sail only to barely escape from an attack by Vice Admiral Garp and his crew of Marines. With their pristine ship now showing some wear and tear, they set anchor at a floating restaurant to get some R and R before figuring out their next move. Of course, nothing is as simple as that when it comes to the life of a pirate, and Luffy finds himself caught between the head chef Zeff (Craig Fairbrass) and his young protégé Sanji (Taz Skylar) who are butting heads over the menu; not to mention Zeff and Luffy’s fundamental disagreement on the efficacy of IOUs when it comes to paying for meals. Still, the rest of the crew get some time to relax and it’s nice to see them getting along as best they can! Oh, and also there’s a Vampire Pirate with a big sword trying to capture Luffy. Wait, what?
“The only things more precise than my blade are the angles on my mustache.” “Yeah, how DO you maintain that? Is it a magic mustache or something?” “My secrets are mine alone.”Continue reading “Super Recaps: One Piece – Episode 5”→
One Piece the live-action series is owned by Netflix
Directed by Emma Sullivan
The last episode of this show was the first one to feel the strain of fitting an anime story arc into a relatively small package, but even with it feeling overstuffed and unfocused it still succeeded due to the charm of its cast and the attention to detail in bringing the cartoon world of One Piece to life. Now that the stage has been thoroughly set, will this episode pay it all off in a satisfying fashion? Let’s find out!! With the beloved butler Klahadore (Alexander Maniatis) being revealed as the bloodthirsty pirate Kuro of the Black Cat Pirates, it’s up to the Straw Hat crew (Iñaki Godoy, Emily Rudd, and Mackenyu) to try and stop him and his two co-conspirators (Bianca Oosthuizen and Albert Pretorius) from killing Kaya and stealing her family’s fortune! Then again, Zoro got thrown into a well and Luffy ate himself into a poisoned-food coma, so maybe it’s up to Usopp (Jacob Romero Gibson) to save the day in real life instead of just in his made-up stories of heroism and adventure. Will Kuro’s grand scheme come to fruition even with this last-minute hiccup in his plan? Can Koby (Morgan Davies) and the Marines come to their aid against such an obvious foe, or will their pursuit of Luffy leave them oblivious to the threat standing in front of them? Is it just me, or does every show eventually do a Die Hard episode?
One Piece the live-action series is owned by Netflix
Directed by Emma Sullivan
I’m sure all the One Piece fans out there can breathlessly explain the question I’m about to ask, but what did Usopp actually contribute to the crew? As I’ve stated before, I’ve only seen about the first forty or so episodes of the anime and while I remember Usopp being a fun character with a solid origin story, nothing really sticks in my mind after that and since then he’s kind of felt like the Yamcha of the group, to pull a reference from an anime I actually know what I’m talking about. I know this isn’t the case as the series goes along, but I’m interested in seeing what they do with him in this version and if his contribution to the crew will have a more lasting impact on me. Will this be a great introduction to the character or were the writers scrambling to find a reason for him to exist in this? Let’s find out!!
Having escaped from the dastardly Buggy, the Straw Hat crew is on their way to Syrup Island in the hopes of finding a proper ship by which to travel to the Grand Line as well as outrun the Marines who are hot on their trail. Luckily for them, they meet a young ship cleaner on the island named Usopp (Jacob Romero Gibson) who assures them that he can get them in touch with the owner of the ship-building company and can get them a good deal on the boat. As we will learn with everything Usopp says, there’s only a little bit of truth in what he says as the owner in question is not quite the owner yet, but is still a good friend of Usopp’s named Kaya (Celeste Loots). She is being mentored and protected by her butler Klahadore (Alexander Maniatis) who has no patience for Usopp’s tall tales nor the ragamuffins he’s brought around to Kaya’s stately manor, but despite his protestations, Kaya invites them to dinner and to stay the night. After all, it’s her eighteenth birthday and she’s about to inherit her late parents’ company which will set her up for life! It’s not like anyone close to her wants to take that for themselves, am I right? Will the Straw Hat crew be able to convince Kaya to give them the boat of their dreams as Usopp had erroneously promised? What evil machinations are working behind the scenes on the cusp of Kaya’s corporate takeover, and how will the Straw Hat gang be sucked into these wicked schemes? Can Usopp finally show us a skill he has other than looking really good in bandanas and open shirts!?
“See, my uncle works at Nintendo and he showed me how to give Mario a bazooka in level four.” “Wow, can you show me?” “Uh… It’s a trade secret. Legally, I shouldn’t even be telling you this.”Continue reading “Super Recaps: One Piece – Episode 3”→
One Piece the live-action series is owned by Netflix
Directed by Marc Jobst
Netflix’s adaptation of the long-running manga came out the gate swinging and delivered a fun opening episode that drew me in despite my apathy toward the franchise. Now that they’ve proven it can be done, will the rest of the season convince fans that it should be done? Let’s find out!!
The Straw Hat crew has barely escaped the clutches of the Marines stationed in Shells Town when they find themselves in yet another pickle! The famed pirate captain Buggy the Clown (Jeff Ward) has kidnapped our heroes and is demanding they turn over the map they stole from the Marines or they too will suffer a horrific fate much like the citizens of Orange Town who have also been captured by the ruthless Buggy. Luffy, Zoro, and Nami (Iñaki Godoy, Mackenyu, and Emily Rudd) have to find a way out of this terrifying, albeit whimsical, prison that they find themselves in and it may just require the power of friendship to do so! Will our heroes overcome their differences and put an end to the spooky clown’s reign of terror? What tricks does Buggy have up his sleeve, and can he possibly be a threat to the rubber man, Luffy? Is it everyone’s goal in Hollywood to one day become The Joker? I know that movie made a billion dollars, but it still wasn’t very good!
One Piece the live-action series is owned by Netflix
Directed by Marc Jobst
Before we get into this, I should probably put my cards on the table and confess that I just don’t like the One Piece anime. I’ve seen maybe forty or so episodes back when it was originally airing on Saturday mornings, but it never stuck with me the way that Dragon Ball Z, Yu Yu Hakusho, or even Naruto had back when I was a kid. I love pirate stuff too, which you’d think would make it an easy sell, and yet every attempt I’ve made to watch it just ended with disappointment and apathy. It always felt lacking whenever I compared it to other Shonen anime that I liked and it never felt like more than the bare minimum clichés blown up to an entire series. That’s why I was interested when Netflix announced they were gonna attempt a live-action version since a fresh take on the material could be exactly what I need to truly enjoy this story, and the fact that it wasn’t going to be over a thousand episodes didn’t hurt either. Will this be a show worth checking out, even for those of us who didn’t get the anime’s appeal, or will this fail to be more than just a lesser copy of what we’ve been getting since 1999? Let’s find out!!
Monkey D Luffy (Iñaki Godoy) is not your everyday wannabe pirate. Sure, he has stretchy powers due to a magical fruit he ate as a young boy, but what really makes him special is his unyielding optimism and unflinching courage in the face of danger which he finds himself several times here as he searches for a crew and a ship to start his journey to becoming King of the Pirates! His first stop takes him to a port town ruled by a ruthless Marine Captain named Morgan (Langley Kirkwood) who has a mysterious swordsman named Zoro (Mackenyu) held prisoner and holds a map that both Luffy and a thief named Nami (Emily Rudd) have set their sights on. Will Luffy succeed in convincing these two outcasts to join his crew and find him a ship? What secrets will be revealed on this map that Morgan holds, and what forces will bear down on Luffy and his friends if they do manage to take it from him? I mean look, if you can work together to take out an entire platoon of soldiers within five minutes of meeting each other, you pretty much have to become a crew, right? It’s like an Anime Law or something.
Cade: The Tortured Crossing and all the images you see in this review are owned by Neil Breen Films
Directed by Neil Breen
Neil Breen has been a curious figure in the recent cinematic landscape as critics and audiences alike are always on the lookout for the coveted So Bad Its Good movies and seem to have found a cash cow in the form of Breen’s bizarre and uncomfortably amateurish productions. His latest feature, a sequel to his quasi-superhero flick Twisted Pair, has certainly garnered some buzz off of his reputation and the silly trailer he released, but the thing about Breen that makes him endearing is his clear earnestness and how fame hasn’t stifled his creative drive. He could be out there on the Tommy Wiseau circuit and embrace the clownish reputation of his work, but he comes off as a sincere, if utterly incompetent and a little regressive, auteur who wants his movies to have genuine acclaim for their deep ideas and disturbing revelations. Well, I plan to give him what he wants and to take this movie seriously. No cheap shots, no, tired jokes, and no feigned bafflement at what we’re seeing. We’re here to find out if Neil Breen has improved as a filmmaker and if his latest project is worth anyone’s time who isn’t in on the joke. Will this be one step closer to Neil making his Oscar-worthy magnum opus, or has the king of bad movies somehow regressed further into incompetence? Let’s find out!!
After the events of Twisted Pair where Cade Altair (Neil Breen) crushed the Cuzzx empire using his AI science-magic superpowers, he’s gone into philanthropy and has donated lots of money to a nearby mental asylum. All is not as it seems, however, as the head doctor (Amy Solomon) is in cahoots with an evil corporation to perform horrible experiments and extract precious fluids from their patients. A good doctor (Nicole Butler) is trying her best to make the situation better, but Cade is unimpressed when he realizes the terrors going on at this asylum and vows to help its patients become warriors of humanity and justice. Seems straightforward enough, but what Cade doesn’t know is that his long-lost brother Cale (Neil Breen) has been hired by the corporation to kidnap patients and is trying to use the extracted fluids to make himself as powerful as his brother Cade once again. Will Cade be able to save these patients from the dastardly corporation and bring justice to the world? What does Cale have planned for Cade if he was to find out about his misdeeds, and is there any hope for him to turn his life around? Is it just me, or does it seem that Neil Breen watched The New Mutants during the Pandemic and literally nothing else?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem and all the images you see in this review are owned by Paramount Pictures
Directed by Jeff Rowe
To be frank, I just never got the whole Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thing. I like the original live-action movie well enough, but it’s not a franchise that I ever got invested in as it just felt like one of those Gen-X holdovers that overstayed its welcome. Well, now the joke’s on me as my childhood is now getting eye rolls from the Zoomers who also can’t escape the prevalence of their previous generation’s obsessions. It’s the circle of life I suppose, and TMNT is taking yet another stab at staying relevant to the youngsters. Will this be another hit for the franchise to go alongside Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or will we be begging for the Bay-Turtles to come back by the time this is over? Let’s find out!!
In the beginning, there was ooze; and said ooze landed on a quartet of cute turtles as well as a very paternal rat. The ooze mutated them to be humanoid, but their ninja skills came from their adoptive rat-dad Splinter (Jackie Chan) looking for a way to protect his kids from the outside world. The turtles are now teenagers named Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello (Nicolas Cantu, Shamon Brown Jr, Brady Noon, and Micah Abbey) and while they can kick all sorts of butt with their ninja skills, they’re mostly used to get groceries and hide in the shadows; away from the scary humans who would surely reject them if they were to come out of the sewers. Sounds rather bleak if you ask me, but fortunately, they run into a high school reporter named April O’Neil (Ayo Edebiri) and she doesn’t immediately turn them in to the authorities to be dissected but instead comes up with a plan to make them heroes so that they can be accepted and go to high school, and she can get the scoop of a lifetime! Their mission is to take down the mysterious Super Fly (Ice Cube) whose been wreaking havoc all over the city with daring heists of top secret scientific hardware, and while the Turtles want nothing more than to live normal lives, getting closer to Super Fly also gets them closer to some very uncomfortable truths about themselves. What is this Super Fly after, and are his goals as evil as his means of achieving them? Is this a win-win scenario for all involved, or will the world never accept them even if they do save the day? Would we honestly be that shocked to learn of sentient turtles in the sewers who fight crime and eat pizza? I mean Congress had a hearing on UFOs and that barely lasted a day in the news cycle!
“I’m just saying, everyone thinking we’re from Krypton is gonna help us with our PR problem, and it’s not like they can prove otherwise! Heck, we don’t know where that Ooze came from! Maybe it’s from space!” “I think you’re stretching there, Mikey.”Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem”→
When it comes to two movies releasing on the same day the narrative is usually that of a fight to see which one will top the box office, and yet this whole Barbenheimer deal has been one of mutual appreciation which seems to have worked out well for both movies as they had strong opening weekends on the back of solid word of mouth and the novelty of this double-feature. Was this quirk of good timing the perfect way to energize two great movies, or will the memes be more fondly remembered than the movies they were celebrating? Let’s find out!!
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Barbie
Barbie and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures
Directed by Greta Gerwig
In the land of Barbies, where all Barbies are named Barbie and all Kens are named Ken, we follow Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) who is leading her stereotypical Barbie life of fun, empowerment, and dance parties! That is until she starts having some strange thoughts that put her out of step with the rest of Barbie land and she has no choice but to go on a journey to the Real World to find the little girl playing with her that’s giving her all these bad vibes. Not wanting to be left out as he usually is, Ken (Ryan Gosling) manages to tag along on this journey and has his own quest of self-discovery that could perhaps impede Barbie from finishing her own!
Starting things off with sunshine and sparkles, we dive into the bright pastels and infectious optimism of Hollywood’s latest attempt to cynically turn brands into cinematic universes! Well, that’s a little unfair as the movie takes a fair number of risks in creating such a uniquely faithful adaptation; not to any specific work in the Barbie canon, but to the idea of Barbie as a brand itself. What could have easily been an insufferable exercise in cheerleading a doll line manages to have more than enough wit and creativity to rise above its baggage. Of course, it can’t truly be a subversive work given that it’s made with the explicit endorsement of Mattel, but Gerwig and Robbie were still given a surprising amount of room to tell an unconventional and mature story within this pink and plastic world. What I most appreciated was the utter absurdity of it all as it revels in its own dream logic to tell its story; never getting so abstract as to be indecipherable, but never letting unnecessary plot details grind the pacing to a halt or hold it back from telling a funny joke. It’s the kind of storytelling that works for a high-concept fantasy like this where at any moment we could pull back to find the whole plot being elaborately staged by a group of young girls at a sleepover, and if you aren’t going to make a Barbie movie a fanciful journey then why bother making it in the first place? There does seem to be a missed opportunity, however, as they don’t go the extra mile to make this a musical which, to me, would have catapulted it to the camp classic it’s clearly aiming to be. The movie has songs, singing, and even some dancing for good measure, but there’s only one musical number for a movie that is otherwise so bombastic, and on top of that it’s done by the Kens instead of the Barbies which leads us to the other issue I have with the film. Perhaps this is where the gender divide is the most obvious, but when all was said and done I found myself thinking more about the Kens than the Barbies; especially when it comes to Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie. Robbie is great in the role and she carries this movie from start to finish, but Gosling is a riot throughout and I found his arc to be the more interesting of the two. Barbie doesn’t really have much that she needs when the movie begins and the conflict she has to resolve is thrust upon her by circumstances outside of her control. It’s through the disruption of her routine that she does eventually realize what has been missing, but there’s not much to distinguish her as a Barbie of note compared to every other Barbie in Barbie Land. Ken on the other hand begins the movie with angst and flaws that inform his actions throughout the movie, and where the script ends up taking him is fascinating and utterly hilarious even if it’s the primary obstacle that our true protagonist has to overcome. Again, this may be my own biases talking here, but Robbie just didn’t come across as the most interesting character in her own movie and my favorite moments are things that happened around her instead of anything with her specifically. For me, the movie feels a little pulled back at points which are all the more noticeable given how extra the rest of the movie is, so while it doesn’t quite hit cult classic status as many were hoping for it to, it does end up being a great time at the movie and one that I can happily recommend to everyone with an appetite for something sweet.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Directed by James Mangold
I’ve actually gone back and rewatched the Indiana Jones trilogy recently, and for the most part, they still hold up pretty well. Not so much Temple of Doom, but even that one has some charm to it and the big action packed finale is a sight to behold. There’s just something unique about them that has kept the series relevant after all these years and sadly could not be recaptured with the fourth movie which at the time felt a bookend for the series. Now we’re back with one more adventure starring the even more aged Indiana Jones and without Spielberg or Lucas behind the camera. Does this change in direction bode well for Indy’s final adventure, or will this just feel hollow and cheap without the original creators who couldn’t even make it work again back in 2008? Let’s find out!!
The year is 1969 and Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is now just crotchety old Dr. Jones teaching college classes that no one cares about when he’s not sleeping in his old man armchair. Needless to say that the glory days have long been over with a few personal tragedies peppered throughout for good measure, but all of that is about to change as the daughter of an old friend shows up and asks him about an ancient artifact. Her name is Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) and she’s looking for a mysterious dial that her father was obsessed with and that Indy took off a Nazi researcher back during the war. Said researcher, Jürgen Voller (Mads Mikkelsen), is also after the dial which holds some mysterious power and when he sends his goons to take the piece of it that is at the university, Indy finds himself whisked away on one last adventure to settle an old score, solve a mystery from his past, and save the day once again! Can Dr. Jones summon the courage and dust off the cobwebs to become Indy once again? Why did Helena show up after all this time, and what are her plans for the Dial once they find all the pieces? Seriously, is he wearing a fedora in 1969? That’s somehow more disconcerting than the guy running around with a bullwhip.
The Flash and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros. Pictures
Directed by Andy Muschietti
The Flash has been in development since at least Suicide Squad and its journey to the big screen has been fraught, to say the least. Controversy with its main star, the shifting sands of the DCEU project as a whole, Warner Bros getting sold to Discovery, and let’s not forget the Global Pandemic that threw everything into chaos and continue to affect us to this day. On top of all of that, in case there wasn’t enough going against this, it was a movie that frankly few people seemed to ask for as it was borne of the earliest version of the DCEU that people have roundly rejected and that even Warner Bros has started to correct course on. The DCEU may yet have a happy ending now that we’re finally starting over with a new creative vision under James Gunn, but is this last hurrah a bittersweet epithet to everything that it had previously stood for or is it the nail in the coffin that will finally put it all to rest? Let’s find out!!
It’s not easy being a superhero as I’m sure most of them will gladly tell you, but for Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) it comes with an extra dose of sadness as they are the perpetual New Guy of the Justice League. Unlike their teammates who are either God-like figures or super rich, they’re just a person trying to live their life and deal with their tragic backstory which involves their mother being murdered and their dad taking the blame for it. With their father’s last appeal coming fast, Barry is overcome with grief and finds out, much like Superman back in 1978, that angry running is the secret to time travel; giving him a chance to fix what went wrong all those years ago. Sadly for them, however, we’re following Butterfly Effect rules and every change makes things much worse which cascades into more and more problems that he is tasked with fixing which includes a much goofier Barry Allen who needs to learn to take care of himself and an older Batman (Michael Keaton) who gave up the cowl long ago. Oh, and General Zod (Michael Shannon) is about to take over the world since there’s seemingly no Superman in this timeline, and there are very few outcomes I can think of that are worse than having to live through Man of Steel again. Can Barry fix the timeline and perhaps leave the world in a better place than where it was when they started this adventure? Can Barry be a proper mentor to younger Barry and set them on the right course, or will this interference in the timeline create unforeseen ripples for them as well? Is there any way I can go back in time myself and have Warner Bros cancel this instead of the Batgirl movie?
“What’s up? I’m the new Supergirl and I’m gonna get a movie soon.” “Yeah, just like how I’m alternate Barry, and I’ll be getting a spin-off!” “Whoa, whoa, whoa! None of that’s gonna happen until I get my sequel first, right?”Continue reading “Cinema Dispatch: The Flash”→
The Reviewers Unite 