Cinema Dispatch: Monkey Man, The Fall Guy, and I Saw the TV Glow

Between the time I saw the first of these movies and finished the last of them, the movie industry was dead, saved, and probably died again with each week being a coin toss as to where the story will go next. Perhaps it’s best that I didn’t have time to get to them right away, and in doing so avoided the box office drama that surrounded each new release. I certainly don’t have anything interesting to add to that conversation as I’m just here to watch the movies, but I’m sure that’s why you’re here as well, so let’s not waste any more time and dive right in!

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Monkey Man

Monkey Man is by Universal Pictures

Directed by Dev Patel

In the roughest part of a city of Yatana, you will find several less than savory characters; some in the rich cocaine dens run by the upper crust of society and others in the dingy arenas where fighters pulverize each other for cash. One such fighter is a man known as Kid (Dev Patel) who fights as the Monkey Man so that he can buy the tools he needs to exact vengeance on the rich and powerful who destroyed his childhood village and murdered his mother. Nothing is as simple as it seems, however, as the corruption that led to this slaughter goes to the highest peaks of India’s government, and none of them are going to stand for this forest brat tearing through their carefully laid plans to run the country. Will our hero bring down the system as an act of divine justice, or will his single-minded quest for blood only lead him to his own grave?

Dev Patel has definitely earned his Thespian stripes in recent years with a series of indie dramas and the bizarre art piece that was The Green Knight, and while it does feel like something of a swerve for his directorial debut to be a John Wick knock-off, he does fill it with enough stylistic flair to find a niche separate from its influences. It’s a movie that’s less about its plot and more about the details, with the setting playing as much a role in this movie as any of its characters. Some of it will perhaps be lost on Western audiences who aren’t familiar with India’s political landscape or economic situation, and I’m counting myself among those who are ignorant of these topics, but Patel fills the scenes with enough life and interesting side characters that it’s easy enough to slip into the world with Kid serving as our guide throughout it. Still, if there’s any area where the movie feels underwhelming, it’s with a few of the characters who are well drawn to fit the archetype or class of person that they need to represent, but don’t have much going on beyond that. The big bad at the end of the movie is almost a throwaway character; not for being unimportant to the overall plot as he’s the one pulling the strings and is most emblematic of the criticism Patel is leveraging against India’s government, but because the movie is simply not as concerned with his actions as they are with the secondary villain who gets far more screen time and is directly involved with the tragedy that sent Kid on his path of vengeance. The film makes a game attempt at melding social commentary with a classic revenge story, but there’s an obvious tension between the two that the film never fully resolves. Thankfully, the action is able to pick up the slack in the film’s narrative, and Patel has thrown himself into the role with a fiery passion. Physical roles like this can be quite taxing on an actor, especially one who’s not used to these kinds of roles, so the fact that he manages to look convincing throughout is impressive to say the least. I suppose my final thoughts on this is that it’s about as good as any number of action films that have tried to recapture the magic of John Wick; including the John Wick sequels. In some respects, this is a bit disappointing as Patel is clearly shooting for this to be an elevation of the genre given its themes and social commentary, but then again, how many first time directors can pull off action this good, both in front of and behind the camera?

3.5 out of 5
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Cinema Dispatch: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by George Miller

Mad Max: Fury Road was an important film for a lot of people, but for me, it was my first attempt at reviewing a contemporary movie I saw in the theaters. Sure, I had been reviewing movies on streaming services for a while before then, but there was something about the movie that made me feel I could say something interesting about it. It’s been nine years since then and George Miller has finally made the Furiosa movie he’s been dreaming of, and I’ve written an absurd amount of movie reviews since then, so it’ll be good to reconnect after all this time! Is this a proper follow up to one of the most intense and brilliantly crafted action films of the last decade, or is a Mad Max movie without Mad Max just another post-apocalyptic slog? Let’s find out!!

The post-apocalypse isn’t fun for anyone, but a small group of people have at least managed to pull together a modest and healthy living in an area known as The Green Place of Many Mothers. One of its residents is the young Furiosa (Alyla Browne and Anya Taylor-Joy) who gets kidnapped by minions of the dreaded Lord Dementus (Chris Hemsworth) who may not be able to extract the Green Place’s location from her, but definitely sees something special in the young girl. Through political wheeling and dealing that keeps a modest peace between Dementus and the terrifying Immortan Joe (Lachy Hulme), Furiosa ends up in Joe’s kingdom and manages to maneuver herself into a mechanic role building War Rigs to transport supplies between the major outposts in the wasteland. Still, Furiosa has not forgotten everything that Dementus took away from her and the horrors she narrowly avoided while under Joe’s thumb, and with the help of a driver (Tom Burke) she just might have a way to return to her old life and leave nothing but a scorched wasteland in her wake. Well… at least a slightly more scorched wasteland. What trials and tribulations will Furiosa face that led her to the events of Fury Road? Does she have any hope of getting revenge against Lord Dementus without losing everything that matters to her in the process? Things like, oh I don’t know… say your left arm?

“You’re lucky I’m a righty, or else I’d be REALLY pissed!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Hundreds of Beavers

Hundreds of Beavers and all the images you see in this review are owned by SRH

Directed by Mike Cheslik

It’s always interesting when my local theater gets a movie in for a single screening. I’m curious what the motivation is for something like that, as they did the same thing with Cade: The Tortured Crossing. Is there just someone on staff who really wanted to see it, or do they think it’s got enough juice in this town to fill the theater once before interest fizzles out? In any case, this strange little comedy that I’ve barely heard anything about certainly caught my eye with its odd trailer, so perhaps the person they brought this movie in for was me the whole time! Is this an underappreciated gem that will delight whatever audiences can find it, or is this better off being screened to as few audiences as possible? Let’s find out!!

The Applejack magnate Jean Kayak (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews) is living his best life serving apple infused alcohol to the local fur trappers while indulging in his product as often as he can. Sadly, his life is brought to a screeching halt when his distillery is destroyed in comedic fashion, and he’s left with nothing but the clothes on his back in the harsh and frigid wilderness. He works his way from chasing rabbits to catching raccoons and eventually finds himself seeking the hand of the local fur trader’s daughter (Olivia Graves) while apprenticing under a master trapper (Wes Tank). As Jean hones his craft and is forced to seek his fortune on his own, he gets the attention of the local population of beavers, who seem to be up to something and don’t much care for this new interloper. Will Jean win the affection of the fur trader’s daughter before bumbling his way into an early grave? What do the beavers have planned to stop him from interfering with their secretive plans? Does it possibly involve a large number of said beavers? Maybe in the three digit range?

“In my defense, you all have really nice fur!”
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Cinema Dispatch: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros. Pictures

Directed by Adam Wingard

We’re five movies deep into the Monsterverse, plus one TV series I haven’t bothered to watch yet, and excepting Kong: Skull Island, none of them have left much of an impression on me. A bit of an odd thing to say when it comes to movies about giant monsters getting into fist fights, but something’s always felt missing that kept me from engaging with it beyond a very rudimentary level, and it seems unlikely that we’ll be pulling things back to see what can be fixed when they can just go bigger with each movie. Then again, we’ve come quite far since the dreary days of Gareth Edwards’s Godzilla feature, and if nothing else the addition of a robot arm for Kong and pink highlights for Godzilla show that they aren’t afraid to escalate the goofiness which could be just enough to get me back on board. Will the pieces finally fall into place in this latest monster mash, or has this franchise simply left me behind without even glancing in the rearview mirror? Let’s find out!!

With the discovery of the Hollow Earth, the world has somehow managed to keep on trucking with Godzilla on the surface to bash any monsters that start giving humanity funny looks, and Kong enjoying an early retirement in the Hollow Earth; chilling under waterfalls and basking in whatever the equivalent of sunlight is in the Earth’s core. Still, retirement can be a lonely thing for the last of one’s kind, and Kong can only talk to his awesome warrior axe so many times before it gets weird. Thankfully, the Hollow Earth is like an ogre in that it has many layers, and he stumbles into the home of a race of giant apes like himself. Before we can throw Kong a family reunion, however, it seems these apes are not too friendly towards the big guy and something about their reemergence has put Godzilla into butt-kicking mode as he powers himself up for whatever happens next. What are these apes up to in their own little corner of the world, and will it spell doom for the surface world? Can Kong show these apes a path towards peace, or will he be forced to take them down alongside his frenemy Godzilla? Seriously, who had the foresight to make Kong a power glove? What, did they think he’d have to win an arm wrestling tournament to save humanity!?

“Pound it, bro”
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Cinema Dispatch: Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire and all the images you see in this review are owned by Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by Gil Kenan

I came into the last Ghostbusters film with more than a little ambivalence, and to this day I still think I overcorrected and gave it half-a-star too high in the final score. I can’t say I’m any more optimistic going into this one, since it looks like all the same nostalgia bait without any of the context, but I’ve been wrong before about movies I expected to disappoint me. Maybe by doing away with any pretense, we can get a proper adventure movie that forges its own path instead of an attempt at redoing the comedic magic of the original! Ghostbusters on Ice? Lots of potential there! Will this take advantage of its premise to grow past the shadow of the franchise, or is this content to stand still and not budge an inch as long as people continue to clamor for Venkman, Stanz, and Zeddemore? Let’s find out!!

Following the events of Ghostbusters: Afterlife, the Spengler family consisting of Callie (Carrie Coon), her two kids Phoebe and Trevor (Mckenna Grace and Finn Wolfhard), and their new step-dad Gary (Paul Rudd) have moved to New York and into the good ol’ firehouse to start up the Ghostbusters yet again. Things seem to be going well as the kids are growing into their roles as busters, but after a particularly destructive chase through town gets them in hot water with Mayor Peck (William Atherton), Phoebe is shelved until she turns eighteen which leaves her with nothing to do but be a teenager, and who wants that, am I right? On top of that, an ancient artifact ends up at the bookshop of Ray Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) which seems to contain a spirit more powerful than anyone has seen before and seems to be connected to the family of Nadeem (Kumail Nanjiani), the guy who sold to Ray in the first place. On top of that, there’s also a new Ghostbusters franchise being led by Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson) that’s making some interesting discoveries about ghosts, but perhaps are missing the forest for the trees when they’re confronted with Ray’s mysterious artifact. Oh, and on top of that, Trevor is trying to catch Slimer in the attic because… well, I guess if you’re gonna get Finn Wolfhard, you’ve gotta give him something to do. Can Phoebe find a place that she belongs, especially after meeting a fellow teenage ghost who seems to understand her better than her family? Will this artifact unleash a great threat to the city that only the Ghostbusters can take care of? What do you say, fans? Is any of this doing it for ya!?

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?”
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Cinema Dispatch: Road House

Road House and all the images you see in this review are owned by Amazon MGM Studios

Directed by Doug Liman

There are a lot of movies that I still need to catch up on, but I never thought the original Road House was necessarily one of them. It had the vibe of something that was a clear product of its time, and with so many amazing action movies since then, I was pretty confident that I hadn’t missed out on much. Perhaps that makes me the target audience for this remake, which certainly looked impressive from the trailers, and I’m always happy to see follow Jake Gyllenhaal to whatever wacky project he signs onto. Is this the update to an eighties classic that both fans and newcomers can love, or will this be another soulless cash grab for those nostalgic bucks? Heck, we already got a crappy Point Blank remake, so why not a lousy Road House one too? Let’s find out!!

In the Florida Keys, there is a bar that is being besieged by drunks and punks who like to get belligerent and tear up the place. If the owner (Jessica Williams) wants to keep the bar from collapsing, both financially and literally, she’s gonna need someone to deescalate situations and put a hurt on anybody who takes things too far. What better person for that role than a down on his luck UFC fighter named Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) who’s good at breaking arms but can’t mend the pain in his soul! Still, a few weeks on sunny beaches drinking coffee and tossing out drunks couldn’t hurt, right? Well, it turns out that there are more than just a few boozehounds trying to take down the bar, and what should have been a period of self-care for the man turns into the greatest challenge of his life. Can Dalton keep the peace in this small town despite being an outsider? Who is behind these vicious attacks on the bar, and what’s waiting in the wings if they can’t get the job done? Imagine being this cool while ALSO having starred in Bubble Boy!

“Go ahead. Call me Jimmy one more time.”
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Cinema Dispatch: Love Lies Bleeding

Love Lies Bleeding and all the images you see in this review are owned by A24

Directed by Rose Glass

Somehow we got two lesbian crime movies released within weeks of each other, and while I sadly didn’t get a chance to see Drive-Away Dolls, at least not yet, this one became a top priority for me when I saw the trailers. Kristen Stewart is already a good indicator of quality for me and A24 has a mostly solid track record, so the math added up, and I went to check it out as soon as I had a window in my schedule. Was this grimy slice of eighties mischief worth getting excited for, or is this a situation where all the right pieces are there, but it just doesn’t come together in the end? Let’s find out!!

One night in Nowhere Middle America, a woman comes into town with big dreams and even bigger muscles. Her name is Jackie (Katy O’Brian) and she catches the eye of the local gym manager Lou (Kristen Stewart) who gives her a place to stay and the two fall madly in love. Sadly, the Beatles were incorrect when they said love is all you need, and their lives start to encroach on their whirlwind love affair as Lou’s estranged dad (Ed Harris) is a local gun runner always on the outskirts of their lives and Lou herself is not exactly the perfect partner for someone who’s been through as much as Jackie has. It all comes to a head when Lou’s sister (Jena Malone) is in serious trouble, and Jackie’s instincts lead her down a dark path that will drag Lou and her entire family down with her. Can Lou keep her love life and her family in one piece despite barely keeping her own life intact? What does Lou’s dad want from her, and what does he want from Jackie as well? Seriously, if there’s this much drama around, why don’t you just move? It’s the eighties! People could actually afford that back then!

“We can get a place in California. Clean beaches, nice weather…”     “What, and buy our bologna at someplace OTHER than the Piggly Wiggly!?”
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Cinema Dispatch: Madame Web

Madame Web and all the images you see in this review are owned by Sony Pictures Releasing

Directed by SJ Clarkson

Sony’s attempts at building their own Marvel mini-verse out of the Spider-Man license have yielded mixed results, to say the least. I, for one, appreciated the two Venom films for their shameless swagger and playful take on the material, but Morbius was an absolute bore and I never thought Kraven was a good idea unless they got Sharlto Copley to play the part. Now we have this slice of the expanded Spider-Man canon that Spider-Verse hasn’t laid a claim to, but hey; at least this one has actual Spider-People in it which you’d think would be a bare minimum requirement to making a Spider-Man connected movie. Is this the film to finally get the Sony-Verse on track and competing with Marvel, or are those dreams as lofty as Warner Bros bringing back the Snyder-Verse? Let’s find out!!

Cassie Web (Dakota Johnson) is living a normal, unassuming thirty-year-old life in the early 2000s as she drives an ambulance with her best friend Ben Parker (Adam Scott) and… well, that’s about it. She does have a mysterious past as her mother died in Peru while researching spiders, but hey, what Gen Xer doesn’t have some weird stuff going on with their parents? Cassie just wants to get through life one day at a time without making any strong connections or getting wrapped up in other people’s problems, but fate has other things in store for her as a near-death experience starts to awaken future-seeing powers that are a real drag when you’re just trying to get through your shift. With great power comes great responsibility, however, as she sees three young women (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor) getting attacked on a train by what appears to be an Evil-Spider-Man (Tahar Rahim), though since this takes place before Spider-Man, I guess that would make Spider-Man the good version of whoever this is, and manages to save them while putting a target on her own back for the Spider-Jerk. Why are these three girls so special that they incur the wrath of the Wicked Web-Head, and what role does Cassie have to play in this clash of destiny? Does the Not-So-Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man hold the secrets to Cassie’s past that she’s been desperately searching for?  If Spider-Man doesn’t exist yet, does a guy walking on walls and wearing a spandex bodysuit even read as a spider?

“Why are we being chased by a sticky man!?”     “What even is his gimmick? Mr. Adhesive?”     “How about The Human Lint Roller?”     “How about we run, instead!?”
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Cinema Dispatch: Top 10 Best Movies of 2023

I’ve got to say that 2023 was not the easiest year to come up with a Ten Best list. Partly because I had to cram a dozen movies into December to have a well-rounded list, but also because the year itself just felt underwhelming. The continued move to streaming has started to take the spark out of the theater-going experience, and without the constraints of the theater, it feels like movies are filling space rather than inspiring and exciting. Still, even with all this noise and overabundance of content, there are genuinely amazing creatives out there working on fantastic movies and I’ve collected ten of them to talk about today! Let’s get started!

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Honorable Mention – Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Full Review

I gave this movie a lot of praise on its release, and the accolades it’s received are well deserved. However, 2023 ended up being the year that I got sick of movies that got halfway through their story before telling us to come back later for part two. Unlike a traditional sequel which promises a new story, these films dangle the conclusion of the current one over our heads in a way that doesn’t have me on the edge of my seat but makes me want to turn back the clock and just wait to watch the entire story once it’s finished getting made. Spider-Verse has a lot going for it and there is little doubt that the story will feel complete once part 2 is released, but until it is I don’t feel like putting it in a proper spot on this list.

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Cinema Dispatch: Top 8 films of 2023 That Need Improvement

It’s a cliché to talk about how bad a year had been in a retrospective like this, but 2023 was pretty rough for me; so much so that, for the first time since starting this website, I took an extended hiatus to try and get my house in order in this nightmare we call modern life. Still, I tried my best to catch up on the big releases right before the end of the year and have been stewing on this list for a month until I finally found time to get my thoughts on the page. The elephant in the room as always is that we are still in a post-pandemic world, or at least it would be if we weren’t still dealing with COVID and its massive impacts daily, so some of these movies can undoubtedly trace some of their problems to the disruption it caused in the entertainment industry. That’s why I try to keep this list constructive with good faith analysis and a limited number of cheap shots. Granted, the last few months have left me feeling a bit salty about things in general, but I’ve done my best to keep the unproductive dunking to a minimum. Let’s get started!

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Fool’s Paradise

Fool’s Paradise is owned by Roadside Attractions

Directed by Charlie Day

Frankly, I don’t want to come down too hard on a guy’s directorial debut, even if it’s someone like Charlie Day who has a reasonable amount of clout to throw around. Making movies isn’t easy and not everyone can make a graceful leap from actor to director; especially on their first attempt. That’s very much the vibe of the movie; something that was made with passion but not enough discipline. Everything from the obvious Hollywood satire to its homages of the silent era is not as clever as it thinks it is; nor as ambitious as its inspirations. The jokes have no wit to them and the story is held together with outdated caricatures of the Hollywood elite that still aren’t goofy enough to carry this silly premise and so the narrative bends over backward to try and make it work to with middling results. Also, while I wouldn’t call myself an aficionado of silent comedies, I’ve seen enough to know how half-hearted the slapstick is, and that lack of effort here compared to the immense effort and genius that went into crafting a lot of those classic films says a lot about this movie. It’s like reading the first chapter of a textbook and thinking you’re as knowledgeable as the professor, or assuming you can be a professional chess player after watching a few YouTube videos. By all means, follow your passions and be inspired by the talent of others, but maybe let the ideas cook for a little bit before presenting to the class.

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