Tag: Sarah Niles

Cinema Dispatch: The Toxic Avenger

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

The Toxic Avenger and all the images you see in this review are owned by Cineverse and Troma Entertainment

Directed by Macon Blair

I’m not always sure what to make of Troma. Some of their movies have been genuinely artistic efforts with an iconoclastic edge, but then others are cheap garbage with retrograde ideas of humor and wit. It was, and presumably still is, a great breeding ground for up-and-coming talent, and they’ve stuck around long enough for a mythology to be built around them that can justify a big budgeted goofy remake of their most iconic film. Will this attempt at modernizing low-rent Gen-X trash appeal to the TikTok generation, or is it another failed attempt to get the youngsters to appreciate our nostalgic garbage? Let’s find out!!

Life in Tromaville is not for the faint of heart; especially given how crappy the health insurance is. No one knows this more than Winston Gooze (Peter Dinklage) who works a janitor for the terrifying chemical conglomerate that runs the town with an iron fist. There are those in town that oppose the company, namely the whistleblower JJ Doherty (Taylour Paige) who is trying to get the word out about their evil deeds, but Winston isn’t one of those people as he has a stepson (Jacob Tremblay) to take care of and can’t stick his neck out lest he lose what little he still has. Still, circumstances push him to take desperate actions to try and salvage his meager little life, and he’s shot dead before being dumped in a pit of goo for his troubles. Said goo, however, turns out to be the kind that grants superpowers and mutates him into a hideous monster with super strength, super healing, and a radioactive mop to fight bad guys with. The town begins to celebrate this new hero of justice, but he still has a son to look after, and his exploits catch the attention of his former employer, who sees dollar signs in his unique genetic makeup that has given him such a mighty mutation. Can Winston be both a fighter for justice and a responsible father, or are the pressures of living two lives more than even a super-heroic mutated monstrosity can handle? Can JJ bring down this evil corporation with the secrets she’s working to reveal, or are they too big to fail, especially if they get their hands on Winston’s DNA? Seriously, how did they manage to get Peter Dinklage in this? I doubt Troma has Nick Cage money, let alone Dinklage bucks!

“Wait, TOXIC Avenger? This isn’t the next Marvel movie? NOOOOOO!!”
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Cinema Dispatch: The Fantastic Four: First Steps

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

The Fantastic Four: First Steps and all the images you see in this review are owned by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

Directed by Matt Shakman

What is it about The Fantastic Four that has made it both enduring enough to now be on its second reboot, third if we count the Roger Corman film, and yet so difficult to get right, which, again, if we count the Roger Corman film, hasn’t had a good entry since 1994? I suppose the fact that they were the first superhero team from Marvel Comics gives them a certain gravitas, similar to how Superman is treated over at DC, so it’s rather fitting that both movies are coming out so close to each other with similar expectations behind them. Superman has certainly put Marvel in an interesting position with their one time collaborator James Gunn making a strong case for their side to take the Superhero movie crown, and on top of that, this is serving as the launching point for what will hopefully be a much more successful and confident phase of the two-decade old MCU. Will the fourth time be the charm for Jack Kirby and Stan Lee’s signature creation, or is this movie stretched far too thin for even Mr. Fantastic to hold it together? Let’s find out!!

You know them! You love them! They make the world a better place every day! Well, at least in their world, Earth-828, but regardless, the Fantastic Four are here to defend us all! Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Ben Grimm, and Johnny Storm (Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, and Joseph Quinn) have certainly made the most of their celebrity status after gaining unique powers from cosmic rays, and things are only looking brighter when Sue learns that she is pregnant with Reed’s child. It’s too bad that all this good news is swiftly followed with a herald from the furthest stars of the galaxy (Julia Garner) proclaiming the incoming demise of this planet at the hand of Galactus (Ralph Ineson); a cosmic being that will surely grind these four heroes into one pile of super-dust. Clearly this problem is going to take more than just stretchy powers, invisible powers, fire powers, and rock powers, to overcome, but even putting their massive brains together may not be enough to stop the literal end of the world. With so much at stake and a baby on the way, can our foursome of fearsome scientists live up to the pedestal that the world has put them on? Does Galactus have more than just a thirst for destruction that is driving him to target this planet specifically? Maybe if the rock guy punches him really hard, it will be enough to destroy Galactus! Either that, or find a way to make him swallow the fire guy.

“I can try throwing the car at him.”     “And what, give him a nosebleed if we’re lucky?”
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Cinema Dispatch: F1: The Movie

~ Matt Vetrano ~ Leave a comment

F1 the Movie and all the images you see in this review are owned by Warner Bros Pictures

Directed by Joseph Kosinski

Naming the movie after the sport it’s about is either a supreme show of confidence or a massive oversight, which, given how many moving parts there are to this thing, is not outside the realm of possibility. Maybe they only got nine out of ten teams to Race Buds, and so they had to go with the default title. Needless to say that money surrounding this movie is off the charts and with it comes a certain amount of pomp and circumstance that it hopes to draw audiences in with. Does the spectacle and grandeur of Formula One on full display create a cinematic experience unlike any other, or is it a lot of hot air for an otherwise pedestrian blockbuster? Let’s find out!!

Sonny Hayes (Brad Pitt) is the kind of guy who wears clichés on his sleeve, at least when it’s not covered in sponsors. He’s a burnout racer who could have been the best but found a way to screw it all up before dedicating his life to easy pay days and lowered expectations.  It’s not until his old friend Ruben (Javier Bardem) throws him a bone and offers him a spot on his fledgling Formula One team to try and keep them out of the red and maybe get Sonny some redemption in the process.  Of course, you can’t be a veteran returning to your roots without a cocky young prodigy to take under your wing which is a role Joshua Pearce (Damson Idris) fits to a tee; at least when he’s not calling Sonny old and posing for magazine ads.  The two racers manage to find some success feeding off of their mutual disdain for the other’s racing style, but it’s a tall order to make it to the number one spot within the small number of races left in the season, and Sonny may not be as up to the task as he had once thought.  Will Sonny find a way to get past his demons and save his friend’s team in the process?  What can Joshua learn from the old-timer he’s stuck on a team with, and can Sonny be trusted to work in their mutual best interest when there’s gold on the line? Most importantly, will anyone in the theater care about any of this when the cars start going really fast!?

“SHAKE AND BAKE, BABY!”
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